"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"
Tags:medical, medicine, medicines, meds, drug, pill, pills, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, prescription, prescriptions, sickness, sick, ill, illness, disease, diseases, money, expensive, inexpensive, cheap, treatment, treatments, cure, cures, healthcare, generic, generics, doctor, doctors, big pharma, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, patient, patients
"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."
"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."
Tags:early detection, diagnosis, diagnoses, medical advance, medical advances, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, uncurable, condition, conditions, pearly gates, afterlife, st. peter, saint peter, heaven, heaven's gate, rare disease, rare diseases, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, sickness, sick, prolonging life
"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."
Tags:medicine, medicines, medic, medical, medics, medical joke, modern medicine, modern world, exploit, exploitation, consumerism, consumer, capitalist, capitalism, private, private healthcare, healthcare, health, public healthcare, medicare, medi care, nhs, national health service, pro nhs, pro medicare, national health care, obamacare, death, dead, family, bitter humor, bitter humour, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, console, consoling, consolation, intensive care, sick, sickness, ill, illness, illnesses, sicknesses, doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, surgery
"Actually, this is the one condition your insurance does cover."
The Couple Who Didn't Come Down With The Flu
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"Come quickly—I think I had an out-of-pocket experience."
Tags:doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, medicine, medicines, health, healthy, health-care, health care, healthcare, medicare, medi care, obamacare, obama care, health insurance, insurance, medical insurance, patient, patients, nurse, out-of-pocket, out of pocket, illness, ill, sick, sickness, disease, diseases, get well, get well soon, critic, critical, critique, critically
"You made that diagnosis just to be mean."
"But think of all the things you're not going to die of."
Tags:bearer, bearer of bad news, bad news, terminal, terminally, terminal illness, illness, ill, sick, sickness, healthy, medically, doctor, doctors, consultant, consulting, depressed, depressing, depression, mortality, mortal, get well, get well soon, morbid, morbidly, gallows humor, gallows humour, death, dead, dying, die, died, die of, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, check up, check-up, appointment
"It's a very rare disease - it doesn't have a cure. It doesn't even have a spokesperson."
"She's the most effective of our emerging new pathogens."
Tags:germs, viruses, disease, effective, germ, virus, bacterium, bacteria, illness, illnesses, pathogen, pathogens, outbreak, outbreaks, antibiotic resistant, antibiotic resistance, up-and-comer, up-and-comers, up-and-coming, rookie, rookies, promising, young talent, young talents, talent, talents, talented, disease vector, disease vectors, pride
"It's not just me, Doctor. He's been turning away from the New York 'Times' as well."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, health, symptom, symptoms, ill, illness, sick, sickness, exam, exams, examination, examinations, turning away, refusing, mental health, depression, depressed, sad, problem, problems, news, newspaper, newspapers, journalism, media, new york, ny, strange behavior, strange behaviour, unusual behavior, unusual behaviour, worried, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses
"Here's a study for you, Doctor - he faints."
"You can't be insured, Harry and Louise, because of your preëxisting condition."
Tags:health insurance, insurance, insurance company, insurance companies, medical insurance, medical insurance company, medical insurance companies, health insurance company, health insurance companies, healthcare, healthcare provider, healthcare providers, preexisting, preexisting condition, preexisting conditions, rejection, rejections, turned down, denied, ineligible, commercial, commercials, ad, ads, advertise, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, sick, sickness, ill, illness
"My career doesn't reflect what my passions are as much as where my health insurance is."
Tags:career, careers, careerist, careerists, health insurance, insurance, american healthcare, healthcare, aca, affordable care act, obamacare, ideal job, ideal jobs, dream job, dream jobs, practical, practicality, affordable healthcare, affordable, unaffordable, chronic illness, chronic illnesses, illness, sick, sickness, medical bill, medical bills, medical fee, medical fees, fee, fees, bill, bills
"It's Lyme disease again."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, lyme, lyme disease, deer, reindeer, tick, ticks, deer tick, deer ticks, diagnosis, diagnoses, doctor, doctors, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, exposure, illness, illnesses, contagion, contagions, disease vector, disease vectors, transmission, disease transmission
"Please, Doc - nothing too aggressive. I'm kind of attached to my symptoms."
"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."
Tags:disease, diseases, infection, infections, illness, infectious disease, infectious diseases, get well soon, contamination, patient, patients, introduction, introductions, first meeting, first meetings, patient zero, isolation room, isolation rooms, deadly disease, deadly diseases, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals
"Fortunately, you have the life savings of a man three times your age."
Tags:ill, illness, sick, sickness, in hospital, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, saving, savings, life saving, life saving, wealth, wealthy rich, insurance, medical insurance, insurance policy, insurance policies, unwell, treatment, treatments, cost of treatment, the cots of treatment, unaffordable, expensive, no medical insurance, investment, investments, costly, patient, patients, captive market, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists
Providing Healthcare For All
"It's lotto fever."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, medical, medicine, diagnosis, diagnoses, sick, sickness, ill, illness, bed-ridden, fever, fevers, running a fever, temperature, temperatures, thermometer, thermometers, number, numbers, lottery, lotteries, gambling, gambler, gamblers, jackpot, jackpots, money, lotto fever, prize, prizes, sweepstakes, lottery ticket, lottery tickets, playing the lottery, lottery addict, lottery addicts, lottery addiction, gambling addict, gambling addicts, gambling addiction, word play, wordplay
"Now, if you're feeling adventurous we can undercook the chicken."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommending, suggest, suggestion, suggestions, suggesting, adventurous, courageous, brave, bravery, chicken, under cooked chicken, raw chicken, pink chicken, food poisoning, foodborne illness, foodborne disease, salmonella, bacteria, sick, sickness, ill, illness, unhygienic, unsanitary, bad idea, bad ideas, chicken sashimi, chicken tartare, health, unhealthy, unsafe, safety, food safety
"Hi. This is Ed, over at the I.R.S., just checking to see how you're feeling after your audit."