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"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"
"Son, your mother and I, Grandpa Jack, Grandma Kate, Uncle Danny, Aunt Sue, Grandpa Sy, Grandma Jenny, Cousin Rhonda, Tugger, and Sprinkles are gay."
"Nope, no monsters under here."
"He claims he has you on video - how can I put this? - 'courting the gay vote.'"
"Mom, Dad, I'm merry."
"We feel it would really bpost the new album of you came out of the closet..."
"I'm straight. I just have bad posture."