"OMG! I just got born!"
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newborn, newborns, nursery, nurseries, modern life, modern times, social media, social media update, social media updates, text, texts, texting, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, maternity ward, maternity wards, nurse, screen time, parent, parents, parenting, generation z, status update, status updates, birth, birthday, birthdays, textspeak, abbreviation, abbreviations, special occasion, special occasions, baby, babies, infant, infants, omg"He hums in his sleep."
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sleep, sleeps, sleeping, snore, snores, snoring, noisy sleeper, noisy sleepers, baby, babies, infant, infants, hibernate, hibernates, hibernating, hibernation, winter, hum, hums, humming, wild animal, wild animals, insomnia, restless, restless night, restless nights, new parent, new parents, parent, parents, parenting, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, dad, dads, father, fathersThe Seven Ages of Man: Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Bashful, Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy.
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life, stage of life, stages of life, sleepy, sleepiness, infant, infants, infancy, childhood, child, kid, kids, grow up, grows up, growing up, teen, teens, teenager, young adults, adults, adulthood, grown up, middle age, middle aged, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, chronicle, chronicles, stage, stages, age, ages, ageing, aging"My baby is not on backwards - your baby is on backwards."
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kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, infant, infants, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, new parent, new parents, baby carrier, baby carriers, baby sling, baby slings, backwards, wrong, right, incorrect, correct, forwards, facing, confusing, confusion, modern lifeBig Mother is Watching You
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baby, babies, infant, infants, toddler, toddlers, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, infancy, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, baby monitor, baby monitors, big brother is watching, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, baby monitor, baby monitors, surveillance, camera, cameras"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."
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risk pool, risk pools, high risk pool, high risk pools, healthcare, health care, american health care, insurance risk, insurance risks, insurance industry, health insurance, health insurance industry, bottom line, bottom lines, uncaring, dad, dads, father, fathers, newborn, newborns, baby, babies, infant, infants, cold calculation, cold calculations, greet, greets, greeting, parent, parents, new parent, new parents"He just doesn't do it for me."
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kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, infant, infants, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, playing, disappointed, disappointment, disappointed"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."
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child, children, baby, babies, infant, infants, newborn, newborns, new baby, new babies, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, new parents, family, families, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, new mothers, new mom, new moms, new mum, new mums, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, new dad, new dads, new father, new fathers, raising a child, raising children, proud parent, proud parents, life lessons, learn, learning, teach, teaching, language, languages, fluent, fluency, bilingual, law, legalese, legal, lawyer, lawyers, career, careers, job, jobs, profession, professions, dream, dreams, ambition, ambitions, future career, future lawyer, maturity, grow up, growing up, develop, development"Abandon all transitional objects here."
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transitional object, transitional objects, teddy, teddies, teddy bear, teddy bears, comfort blanket, comfort blankets, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, nursery, nurseries, pre kindergarten, pre-kindergarten, pre school, pre-school, toddler, toddlers, infant, infants, play group, play groups, psychology, child psychology"Ten-fifteen, Ms. Whitney. Time to switch breasts."
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reminder, reminders, secretary, secretaries, office assistant, office assistants, assistant, assistants, organized, organization, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, new mother, new mothers, back to work, going back to work, breastfeed, breastfeeds, breastfeeding, breast feed, breast feeds, career, careers, career woman, career women, schedule, schedules, scheduling, tight schedule, tight schedules, feeding schedule, feeding schedules, baby, babies, infant, infants, newborn, newborns"Which one generates the most synapses?"
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kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, newborn, newborns, infant, infants, baby, babies, mobile, mobiles, crib, cribs, stages of development, development, brain development, brain, brains, synapses, neurons, nervous system, biology, neurology, neurologist, neurologists, science, education, educational toy, educational toys, starting young, getting ahead, childhood, modern lifeBudget Sideshow Attractions
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lame, boring, weird, low cost, low budget, budget, budgets, cheap, cheapskate, cheapskates, baby, babies, infant, infants, boy, boys, man, pencil, pencils, hot dog, hot dogs, pencil sharpener, pencil sharpeners, star, stars, showtime, sideshow, sideshows, circus freaks, circus freak"I'm proud of you for making a gurgle."
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parent, parents, parenting, infant, infants, baby, babies, gurgle, gurgles, gurgling, pride, proud, baby talk, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, participation trophy, participation trophies, low expectation, low expectations, low bar, low bars, mediocre, mediocrity, modern life, modern parent, modern parenting, achievement, achievements, benchmark, benchmarks"Right now I'm a stay-at-home dad, but when this baby comes I'm going back to work."
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paternity, paternity leave, leave, leaves, leaving, time off, take time off, takes time off, taking time off, dad, dads, new dad, new dads, father, fathers, new father, new fathers, new parent, new parents, parent, parents, pregnancy, pregnancies, infant, infants, infancy, baby, babies, back to work, go back to work, going back to work, lazy, laziness, parenting duty, parenting duties, parenting, deadbeat dad, deadbeat dads, loser, losers, husband, husbands, slacker, slackers, slack off, slacks off, slacking off"You can't judge my parenting skills by what you see in the lobby."
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parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, young kids, young children, toddler, toddlers, infant, infants, terrible twos, terrible 2s, parenting skills, tantrum, tantrums, immature, immaturity, lobby, lobbies, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."
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shop, shops, demographic, demographics, age group, retail, retailer, retailers, baby, babies, infant, infants, baby clothes, baby clothing, father, fathers, dad, dads, fatherhood, fathering, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, family, families, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, mothering, target audience, target audiencesA baby in a stroller cracks at whip as his father runs through Central Park.
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central park, run, runs, runner, jog, jogs, jogging, jogger, joggers, chariot, chariots, chariot race, chariot races, whip, whips, crack a whip, cracking a whip, slavedriver, slavedrivers, slave driver, slave drivers, infant, infants, baby, babies, toddler, toddlers, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, needy, neediness"Oh, great. Humble Beginnings."
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relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, baby, babies, infant, infants, infancy, newborn, humble beginnings, poor, poverty, low income, middle class, middle income, family, families"Yours!" "Yours!"
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kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, infant, infants, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, sport, sports, tennis, player, players, playing, pairs, doubles, serving, passing, taking turns, yours, crawling, modern life"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."
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kid, kids, child, children, childhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, toy, toys, too many toys, clutter, cluttered, hoard, hoarding, hoarder, hoarders, compulsive hoarding, compulsive hoarder, compulsive hoarders, toddler, toddlers, terrible 2s, terrible twos, baby, babies, spoilt, spoilt kid, spoilt kids, spoilt child, spoilt children, bad parenting, mess, messes, plaything, playthings, infant, infants"The sooner I start smoking, the sooner I get my big settlement from the tobacco companies."
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smoking, smoker, smokers, tobacco, tobacco company, tobacco companies, bad habit, bad habits, start young, starting young, baby, babies, infant, infants, toddler, toddlers, terrible twos, terrible 2s, sue, suing, settlement, settlements, legal settlement, legal settlements, take advantage, taking advantage"I know he's in here somewhere!"
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baptism, baptize, baptise, baptising, baptizing, christening, christening, drown, drowns, drowning, drop, dropped, awkward, baby, babies, child, children, infant, infants, drop, dropped, church, churches, christian, christians, font, fonts, failed, failing, baptismal font, baptismal, christened, religions, religion, christianity, priest, priest, vicar, vicars, reverend, reverends, lost, losing, loses