"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, diagnosis, diagnoses, treatment, treatments, cure, cures, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicines, meds, prescription, prescriptions, pill, pills, antibiotic, antibiotics, infection, infections, strategy, strategies, military, general, generals, officer, officers, troop, troops, war, wars, plan of attack, answer, answers
"You appear to have caught that bug that's been going around my waiting room."
Tags:flu, flues, influenza, cold, colds common cold, common colds, waiting room, waiting rooms, doctor appointment, doctor appointments, infection, infections, bug, bugs, interior, interiors, infectious disease, infectious diseases, hospital, hospitals, breeding ground, breeding grounds, petri dish, petri dishes
"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."
Tags:disease, diseases, infection, infections, illness, infectious disease, infectious diseases, get well soon, contamination, patient, patients, introduction, introductions, first meeting, first meetings, patient zero, isolation room, isolation rooms, deadly disease, deadly diseases, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals
"Look – now I've gone and caught your stupid disease!"
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors surgery, doctors surgeries, exam room, examination room, medical examination, medical examinations, medical, gp, general practitioner, gps, general practitioners, family doctor, family doctors, disease, diseases, contagious, contagious disease, contagious diseases, contagion, infectious disease, infectious diseases, infectious, infection, bedside manner, bad bedside manner, unprofessional, unprofessional behavior, unprofessional behaviour,
"All the adventure is gone since the bred out all the Trichinosis."
Tags:infection, infections, trichinosis, eat out, eating out, dining out, food poisoning, pork, raw meat, uncooked meat, undercooked meat, trichinella, breeding, animal breeding, food animal, food animals, meat eater, meat eaters, public health hazard, public health hazards, bacteria, food safety standards, food safety, food hygiene, food hygiene standards
"Have you considered installing a dehumidifier?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, medical professional, medic, medicine, medicines, fungal, fungi, fungal infection, infection, infected, infest, infested, infestation, mushroom, mushrooms, patient, patients, health, healthy, healthcare, living conditions, quality of life, mould, black mould, care, welfare, health and wellbeing, consultant, check up, check-up, checkup
"I never get sick."
Tags:arrogant, arrogance, brag, bragging, show off, showing off, boast, boasting, boastful, gloat, gloating, friends, friend, gathering, hangout, sick, sickness, virus, viruses, broken bones, hurt, ill, under the weather, unhealthy, old age, frail, infect, infection, infected, nausea, nauseous, sneeze, sneezing, cough, coughing
Catch of the Day: Flu, Strep Throat, Cold, Hepatitis
Tags:catch of the day, catches of the day, contagious, contagion, cold, colds, catch a cold, catching a cold, strep, strep throat, flu, influenza, cold, colds, hepatitis, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, sicknesses, infection, infections, disease, diseases, bacteria, hygiene, doctor's office, doctor's offices, patient, patients, menu, menus, restaurant, restaurants
"I found a cure for the humongous cold, the extreme cold and the mother of all colds. Why not the common cold?"
Tags:common cold, cold, colds, cold virus, cold viruses, bug, bugs, infection, infections, illness, illnesses, disease, diseases, medical science, medical scientist, medical scientists, medical sciences, scientific breakthrough, scientific breakthroughs, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories
The Day The Entire Kemple Family Had A Virus
"Sorry it took so long. I'm the only one without hepatitis."
Tags:hepatitis, hepatitis b, infection, infections, disease, diseases, contagion, contagions, contagious, contagious disease, contagious diseases, waiter, waiters, server, servers, restaurant staff, food hygiene, health and safety, health & safety, food safety, staff illness, staff illnesses, infectious disease, infectious diseases, food poisoning, chef, chefs, off-putting, unappetizing, unappetising, off putting, bodily fluids
"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."
"Have you seen this bug? It's going around."
Tags:virus, viruses, bug, bugs, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, sicknesses, ill, detective, detectives, investigate, investigator, investigators, infection, infections, biology, doctor, doctors, disease, diseases, missing person, missing persons, suspect, suspects, wanted poster, wanted posters, contagion, contagions, contagious
"You have a nonlethal form of anthrax."
Tags:anthrax, nonlethal, germ, germs, germ warfare, biological warfare, biological, poison, poisons, poisoned, weaponized, weaponization, terror, terrorists, terrorism, bacteria, bacterial, infection, infections, diagnosis, diagnoses, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners
"I suppose it was very sweet and old-fashioned of him, but, still, it was syphilis."
"On the other hand, he never takes a sick day."
Tags:germ, germs, virus, viruses, bacteria, sterile, sterilizes, sterilises, sick, ill, illness, disease, diseases, infection, infected, infects, sick day, sick days, fitness, offices, office, work, worker, workers, medical, medicine, transparent, businessman, businessmen, business man, business person, businessperson, business people
Books on Tapeworm
Tags:book on tape, books on tape, tapeworm, tapeworms, dog, dogs, parasite, parasites, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, infection, infections, infest, infests, infested, worm, worms, audiobook, audiobooks, audio book, audio books, symbiotic relationship, read, reads, reading, reader, readers, classic literature, american classic, american classics, moby dick
"I spy London, I spy France...neither of which rhymes with 'yeast infection.'"
Tags:rhyme, rhymes, rhyming, yeast infection, gynecologists, gynecology, london, france, underpants, unhealthy, infection, infections, disease, diseases, diagnose, diagnosis, diagnosing, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, bedside manner, impolite, polite, politeness, rude, rudeness, embarrass, embarrassing, embarrasses, compromising position, compromising positions, vulnerable, vulnerability
"It's either conjunctivitis or twin pools of desire."
Tags:conjunctivitis, pink eye, diagnosis, diagnoses, eye, eyes, eye doctor, eye doctors, optician, opticians, optometrist, optometrists, optometry, ophthalmologist, ophthalmologists, ophthalmology, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, infection, infections, poet, poets, poetry, pretty eyes, beautiful eyes, attractive, attraction, attractions, twin pools, desire, desires
Dear Mom, I finally went viral
"I don't shake hands during flu season. Just scan my QR code."
Tags:covid, covid-19, coronavirus, corona virus, newspaper, newspapers, headline, headlines, airborne, virus, viruses, particle, particles, infect, infecting, infection, infections, trasmission, transmit, transmits, transmitting, means of transmission, fly, flies, fly swatter, fly swatters, face mask, face masks, face covering, face coverings, protect, protects, protecting, protection, mislead, misleads, misleading
"Target in range. Ready... hug."
Tags:infect, infection, infecting, spreading infections, covid-19, covid 19, corona, coronavirus, novel coronavirus, corona virus, novel corona virus, pandemic, pandemics, coronavirus pandemic, covid-19 pandemic, covid 19 pandemic, public health crisis, global health crisis, self-isolation, social distancing, social distanced, socially distanced, physical distancing, quarantine
"Maybe a virus rally was a bad idea."
Tags:virus, coronavirus, corona virus, corona, covid-19, covid, pandemic, pandemics, social isolation, social distancing, lockdown, lockdowns, quaratine, quarantines, quarantining, rally, rallies, rallying, protest, protests, protesters, protesting, spread, spreading, expose, exposure, bad idea, bad ideas, infection, infect, infecting, increased infection rate, infection rate, infectious, disease, diseases, counterproductive, disease spread