"Did you do that to be hurtful?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, unhappy relationship, unhappy relationships, love, hate, marriage, marriages, married life, unhappy marriage, unhappy marriages, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, gun, guns, firearm, firearms, weapon, weapons, gun control, gun violence, gun crime, shot, shooting, shoot, revolver, revolvers, hand gun, hand guns, hurtful, mean, anger, angry, upset, injure, injury, injuries
"The knees are the first to go."
Tags:knee, knees, santa, santa claus, father christmas, department store santa, department store santas, work-related injury, work-related injuries, injury, injuries, knee, knees, knee pain, weight, added weight, extra weight, stress fracture, stress fractures, fracture, fractures, sprain, sprains, sprained, fractured, joint, joints, joint pain
Tags:work-related injury, work-related injuries, injury, injuries, injured, accident, accidents, matador, matadors, bullfighter, bullfighters, bullfighting, bull, bulls, spear, speared, spearing, puncture, punctures, wound, wounds, wounded, doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, accident, accidents, impaled
"I did all my own stunts."
Tags:humpty, humpty dumpty, dumpty, egg, eggs, nursery rhymes, nursery rhyme, rhyme, rhymes, song, songs, fairy, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, stunt, stunts, cracked, cracks, injuries, injured, injury, injuring, cracks, stuntmen, stuntman, stunts, stunt, my own stunts, all my own stunts, talk, talk shows, talk show, talk-shows, talk-show, late night, late-night, children, children's
"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."
"Want to hear about my day?"
"Enough medical mumbo jumbo, just give it to me straight, Doc-will I ever be able to play piano again?"
Tags:mumbo jumbo, pianist, pianists, headless, disembody, disembodied, injury, injuries, injured, bedside manner, hopeless, lost cause, lost causes, hopelessness, optimist, optimists, optimistic, life support, kept alive, head, heads, medical equipment, operation, operations, accident, accidents, nasty accident, nasty accidents, musician, musicians
"We slipped in the tub."
Tags:spouse, spouses, wife, wives, husband, husbands, partners, partner, significant other, significant others, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, date, dates, love life, love-life, injury, injuries, spice it up, spicing it up, cocktail party, cocktail parties, cocktail party chatter, small talk, tub, bathtub, bathtubs
Tags:rollerskate, rollerskates, rollerskating, rollerblade, rollerblades, roller-blades, roller-skate, roller-skates, injury, injuries, sport injury, sports injury, sports injuries, sport injuries, broken leg, broken legs, broken bone, broken bones, traction, pulley, pulleys, hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, hospital beds
"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"
Tags:sprained ankle, sprained ankles, war wound, war wounds, noble, nobility, martyr, martyrs, martyred, injured, injury, injuries, ankle, ankles, hardened, hard man, hard men, military man, military men, soft, soft man, soft men, upper class, upper classes, high class, high classes, leave no man behind, code of ethics, sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, self-sacrifice, self-sacrificing, executive, executives, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, privilege, life of privilege
"I think I speak for all of us."
"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, drunk, drunks, friendly drunks, life story, life stories, sport, sports, skating, skater, skaters, ice dancing, ice dancer, ice dancers, hockey, hockey player, hockey players, ice hockey, athlete, athletes, career, careers, injury, injuries, recovery, recovered, resume, continue, career change, career changes, fashion, costume, costume, fancy, dress-up, dress up, dressing up, discovered, discovery, passion, passions, passion project, passion projects
"This next song's about pain."
"That Timmy's a real trouper-he's playing with a sprained ankle and head lice."
"And then she slapped my face, injuring my beard."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, suit, suits, meeting, assault, assaulted, offended, offense, beard, beards, facial hair, over reaction, overreaction, over react, overreact, slap, slapped, slapstick, slap stick, physical comedy, wimp, wimpy, victim, fashion victim, injury, injured, absurd, absurdity, fashion, fashionable, men, man, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, breaking up, hipster, hipsters
"It's a hassle, but I can use the handicapped-parking spots."
Tags:crash test, crash tests, crash test dummy, crash test dummies, handicapped, injured, injury, injuries, car crash, car crashes, handicap, tough job, tough jobs, job, jobs, complain, complaints, complaint, complaining, venting, parking, parking lot, parking spot, car park, drink, drinks, alcohol, bar, bars, pub, pubs, chat, chatting, benefits, job benefits, work perks, job perks
"Two out of three."
Tags:double or nothing, two out of three, best of three, duel, duels, duelling, duelist, duelists, pistol, pistols, gun, guns, pistols at dawn, shoot, shooting, shot, injured, injury, victorian, victorians, unreasonable, irony, ironic, ironically, kill, killed, honor, honour, honorable, honourable, honored, honoured, classic, classic joke, classic jokes, slapstick, slap stick, slap-stick, kill, killed, fatal, fatality, regency, edwardian, word play, words, game, games, competitive, word play, word-play, last words
"Thank goodness he was wearing a condom."
Tags:protection, always use protection, humpty, humpty dumpty, dumpty, egg, eggs, nursery rhymes, nursery rhyme, rhyme, rhymes, song, songs, fairy, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, stunt, stunts, cracked, cracks, injuries, injured, injury, injuring, cracks, king's horses, king's men, repair, repairs, visual gag, pun, puns, play on words, word play, spoof, spoofed, spoofs, parody, parodied, parodies
"It looks fine to me, too."
Tags:sport, sports, football, american football, canadian football, football players, football players, player, players, athlete, athletes, ball, deflate, deflated, damaged, head, heads, concussion, concussions, head injury, head injuries, injury, injuries, safety, protection, prevention, helmet, helmets, protective gear, safety gear, denial, brush-off, nonacceptance, dismissing, professional football, football league, football leagues, league, leagues, football team, football teams, player safety, player health, college, colleges, college football, high school, high schools, high school football, dangerous, risky, deflategate
"Don't worry, boss—we whacked your skis."
Tags:mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafias, mafioso, russian mob, russian mafia, wolves, wolf, crimes, criminal, criminals, law, laws, organised crime, organised crimes, cronies, goon, goons, henchmen, henchman, thug, thugs, whack, whacked, lingo, slang, skiing, ski, skis, accident, accidents, make it look like an accident, injury, injured, hospital bed, hospital, sick bed, play on words, word play, word-play, idiot, idiots, dumb, dumber, stupid, stupidity
"This time, she went too far."
Tags:bar, bars, drinks, drinking, pub, pubs, cocktail lounge, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, bar conversation, bar conversations, bull, bulls, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship difficulty, relationship difficulties, dating troubles, dating, bullfighter, bullfighting, bullfight, matador, matadors, spear, spears, injury, injuries, too far, gone too far, going too far, revenge, wound, wounds, wounded, anger, angry
"Let's see, where should Jerry hurt today?"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, life after death, heaven, god, gods, mornings, target, targets, bulls-eye, bulls-eyes, bullseye, bullseyes, bulls eye, bulls eyes, dart, darts, injury, injuries, hurt, pain, painful, ache, aches, aching, hurting, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, random pains, random aches, health, fitness
"There's a reason, Jim, that they call it 'cow tipping' and not 'bull tipping.'"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, patient, patient, serious injury, serious injuries, bed-ridden, hurt, injured, injury, injuries, animal, animals, cow, cows, bull, bulls, cattle, cow-tipping, cow tipping, prank, pranks, joke, jokes, prank gone too far, joke gone too far, went too far, reason, reasons, lecture, lectures, told you so, stupid, dumb, bad idea, dumb idea, bad ideas, dumb ideas, law of natural selection
"You have one repetitive stress injury, one carpal tunnel syndrome and twenty-eight cellphone thumbs."
Tags:repetitive stress injury, repetitive stress injuries, stress, stresses, carpal tunnel, carpal tunnel syndrome, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, occupational hazard, occupational hazards, doctor, doctors, medical student, medical students, injury, injuries, stress fracture, stress fractures, joint, joints, joint pain, arthritis
"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."
Tags:viral, going viral, internet sensation, internet sensations, online, fad, fads, internet fad, internet fads, social media, social medias, social network, social networks, social networking, consolation, consolations, hospital, hospitals, accident, accidents, broken bone, broken bones, injury, injuries