Instructions Cartoons

Too many coxes.

The Choreograph

"No talking back to the recorded seat-belt message."

"If they give you any trouble, find a good babysitter and go out for the evening."

"Sleep tight and dream of me."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

"O.K., Mr. Spinelli, you're up. Now bank her to the right, and I'll talk you back in for a nice smooth landing."

"We forgot his Teddy bear."

"Your instructions were perfect."

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Employees Must Wash Hands

"All you need is a bicycle pump, an ordinary deck of playing cards, and a pair of deerskin slippers, and you're ready to begin."

"This is why you read the instructions."

"Pretty good, but you're still slicing. Shorten your backswing and start down with your left hip."

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

"Luke, use to Force, or crush up the Adderall Chewbacca gave you and snort it – your call."

"O.K., now put Tab A into Slot B."

"Please make regular coffee in the pot with brown trim and decaffeinated coffee in the pot with orange trim, so people can tell what kind it is. And do not tarry at the vaulted coffee niche."

"Slide dammit!"

"As you go through life, take time to monetize the roses."

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

"Swim across the moat but keep the pizza dry."

"I'd like you to hop up and down on one foot and perhaps sing a little childhood ditty."