"I gotta tell ya, these embezzlement convictions raise a red flag."
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business, personnel, crime, ethics, moral relativity, jargon, application, applications, criminal history, criminal history, red flag, red flags, conviction, convictions, embezzlement, embezzle, embezzles, embezzling, red flag, red flags, job application, job applications, job interview, job interviews, interviewing, warning, warning sign, warning signs, corporate crime, corporate criminal, white collar crime, white collar crimes, mankoff"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
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idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."
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talk show, talk shows, interview, interviews, interviewing, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity interview, celebrity interviews, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, drug, prescription, prescriptions, medicine, medicines, big pharma, pill, pills, side effect, side effects, accomplishment, accomplishments, late night, late night talk show, late night talk shows, career, careers"I would have made it big in Heaven if it hadn't been for the policy wonks."
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heaven, heavenly, policy wonk, policy wonks, satan, lucifer, hell, hades, devil, devils, satanic, technicality, technicalities, lament, laments, lamenting, lamentation, interview, interviews, interviewing, gripe, gripes, griping, complain, complains, complaining, complaint, complaints, whinge, whinges, whinging, celebrity interview, celebrity interviews"Mr. Harrison already sees you."
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nsa, surveillance, offices, working, worker, cctv, cctv camera, cameras, security cam, security camera, security cameras, privacy, personal privacy, privacy policy, private, private life, businessmen, businessman, business men, workplace, workplace surveillance, watched, being watched, paranoia, paranoid, big, brother, meeting, meetings, monitor, monitoring, security, secure, spy, spying, interview, interviews, interviewing, horrible bosses, boss, bosses, orwellian"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."
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resume, resumes, dna, dna smaple, dna samples, invasion of privacy, invasions of privacy, urine test, urine tests, test, tests, testing, hiring, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, qualification, qualifications, employment officer, employment officers, genetics, gene, genes, job applicant, job applicants, job application, job applications, personnel, gene, genes, genome, genomes, human resources"We already have an eight-hundred-pound gorilla."
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800 lb gorilla, 800 pound gorilla, eight hundred pound gorilla, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, job interview, job interviews, redundant, redundancy, skill, skills, skillset, skillsets, skill set, skill sets, personnel, personnel department, hr department, human resources, qualified, qualifying, job candidate, job candidates, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, stand out, stands out, standing out, unique"You should be aware that we already have a strong in-house candidate."
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candidate, candidates, job candidate, interview, interviews, interviewing, subservient, subservience, kiss butt, kisses butt, suckup, suckups, suck up, sucks up, qualification, qualifications, skill, skills, skillset, skillsets, skill set, skill sets, job interview, job interviews, lost cause, lost causes, hopeless, hopelessness"Tell me about your last accounting job."
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interview, interviews, interviewing, employed, employee, employees, employer, working world, world of work, modern life, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical, cookie from the cookie jar, cookie, cookies, cookie jar, cookie jars, account, accounts, accounting, accountant, accountants, fraud, frauds, fraudulent, caught, caught red-handed, caught redhanded, red-handed, bad reference, reference, references, fired, fire, fires, firing, laid off, lay-off, lay off, lay-offs, lay offsThe True Story Of Vanilla Pudding
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vanilla, pudding, puddings, dessert, desserts, sweet, sweets, invent, invention, recipe, recipes, food, foods, vanilla pudding, vanilla puddings, home cooked, home cooking, story, stories, interview, interviews, interviewing, old, timeless, classic, classics, classical"One of my strengths as an employee is my ability to multitask."
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recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, interviewing, interview skills, multitask, multitasking, employment, employee, employees, employer, employers, job, jobs, career, careers, distraction, distractions, hiring manager, hiring managers, hiring, first impression, first impressions, strengths, weaknesses, selling point"Where's Waldo in five years?"
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where, where do you see yourself, in five years, five year plan, five-year plan, five-year-plan, planning, plan, plans, planned, career, careers, career plan, career advice, careers advice, job, jobs, job interview, interviews, interviewing, resume, good resume, cv, good cv, c v, interview skills, world of work, new job, new hire, hiring, hires, recruiting, recruitment, recruiter, human resource, human resources, hr, h r, pun, puns, word play, word-play, play on words"But I'm not here to talk about bowling."
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bowl, bowls, bowling, bowling ball, bowling balls, bowling alley, bowling alleys, talk show, talk shows, celebrity, celebrities, interview, interviews, interviewing, deflect, deflects, deflecting, question, questions, questioning, inquire, inquires, inquiring, television, television show, television shows, avoidance, avoid, avoids, avoiding, avoidantTwo reporters interview each other.
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reporter, reporters, journalist, journalists, journalism, expert, experts, expertise, tv reporter, tv reporters, news journalist, news journalists, news journalism, interview, interviews, interviewing, interviewer, interviewers, man on the street, modern life, question, questions, questioning, breaking news, camera crew, camera crews, local news"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."
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replacement, replacements, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, executive, executives, impulsive, impulsiveness, impulse decision, impulse decisions, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, new recruit, hire on the spot, hires on the spot, groom, grooms, grooming, groom a replacement, grooms a replacement, grooming a replacement, hiring criteria, qualification, qualifications, qualified replacement, qualified replacements"Joe, what about you? Would you like to make a face at Mr. Trump?"
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trump, donald trump, president trump, president donald trump, interview, interviews, interviewing, debate, debates, presidential debate, presidential debates, journalist, journalists, newscaster, newscasters, make a face, makes a face, making a face, disgust, disgusted, pundit, pundits, punditry, talking head, talking heads, fair time"I'll be frank - we offered it to Mario Cuomo first, but he turned it down."
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mario cuomo, supreme court, supreme court nomination, supreme court nominations, employment agency, employment agency, employment agencies, unemployment, unemployment officer, unemployment officers, temp, temps, temp worker, temp workers, candidate, candidates, job candidate, job candidates, justice, justices, supreme court justice, supreme court justices, united states, usa, united states of america, hire, hires, hiring officer, hiring officers, job interview, job interviews, interviewing"Do you take recreational drugs, and, if so, which one would you recommend to someone new to that kind of thing who is looking for a fun, no-freakout kind of time?"
"Eye contact is good, but eye contact without blinking is not."
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eye contact, staring, stare, staring contest, staring contests, manners, impolite, advice, interview advice, interview, interviews, interviewing, interviewed, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, recruiting, job, jobs, job market, unemployed, unemployment, resume, resumes, cv, curriculum vitae, workshop, job placement"I was just talking to Charlie Rose in my head."
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charlie rose, interview, interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewing, talking head, talking heads, imagine, imagines, imagination, imaginations, chat, chats, chat show, chat shows, daydream, daydreams, daydreaming, self-important, self-importance, pay attention, paying attention, ignore, ignores, ignoring, out to lunch"Do you have any references?"
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superhero, superheroes, applicant, applicants, job application, job applications, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, employment, reference, references, job reference, job references, personnel, personnel department, human resources, human resources department, human resources departments, comic book, comic books, recruit, recruits, recruiting, lack of references, job experience, qualification, qualifications, unqualified, limited, limitation, limitations"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."
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hire, hires, hiring, seattle, cliche, cliches, millennial, millennials, slacker, slackers, slack off, slacking off, 30, 30s, thirtysomething, thirtysomethings, personnel, hire, hires, hiring, new hire, new hires, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, c/v, c/vs, resume, resumes"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."
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good cop, bad cop, good cops, bad cops, good cop bad cop, cop, cops, police, police officer, police officers, detective, detectives, interview, interviews, interviewed, interviewing, incompetent, incompetents, mistake, mistakes, crime, criminal, criminal, crimes, interrogation, interrogate, interrogates, investigate, investigation, misunderstanding, misunderstood, misunderstands