"This is my friend Ted, and this is Ted's lower-priced knockoff."
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look-alike, look-alikes, look alike, lookalikes, look alikes, lookalike, knockoff, knockoffs, cocktail party, cocktail parties, designer label, designer labels, consumerism, capitalism, capitalist, capitalist, bargain bucket, bargain buckets, twin, twins, introduce, introducing, introduction, introductions, low price, low price, shopper, shoppers, shopping, reproduction, reproductions, fake, fakes, replica, replicas, imitation, imitations, jump on the bandwagon, jumping on the bandwagon, trend, trends, following trends, fashions, modern life"I always forget - is it Kirsten or Kristin?"
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couple, couples, caveman, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, name, names, forget, forgets, forgetting, faux pas, similar, similarity, confuse, confusing, confuses, confusion, memory, bad memory, forgettable, small talk, introduction, introductions, introduce, introducing, mutual friend, mutual friends, friendship, friendships"You can call me Andy. What can I call you?"
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creature, creatures, monster, monsters, name, names, introducing, introductions, animal, animals, meeting, meetings, first meeting, first meetings, friendly"And this is Tod Stillman – the black hole of fun."
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introductions, introduction, introducing, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, black hole, black holes, fun sucker, fun suckers, fun, no fun, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, leisure, man, men, boring"Jeremy reads children's books."
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kid, kids, child, children, son, sons, toddler, toddlers, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, reading, reader, readers, book, books, children's books, kid's books, introducing, introductions, showing off, bragging, proud parent, proud parents, intelligence, literature, literate, literacy"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"
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podiatrist, podiatrists, podiatry, foot doctor, foot doctors, foot, feet, elephant, elephants, stomp, stomps, stomping, flatten, flattens, flattening, flattened, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduces, introducing, job, jobs, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, cocktail party, cocktail parties, strange job, strange jobs, unusual job, unusual jobs"Charles is a journalist, but, of course, not one of those bottom feeders."
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journalist, journalists, journalism, bottom feeder, bottom feeders, tabloid, tabloids, tabloid journalist, tabloids journalists, compliment, compliments, backhanded, underhanded, insult, insults, insulting, introduction, introductions, introduce, introducing, reporter, reporters, reporting, muckraker, muckrakers, muckraking"I'd like you to meet my pillows."
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furniture, pillow, pillows, sofas, sofa, couch, couches, cushion, cushions, family, families, interior design, decor, decoration, interior decor, overdoing, overdone, overdoing it, loneliness, lonely, empty nest, empty house, replacement, dating, dates, date trouble, love life, impress, impressive, unimpressive, introductions, introduce, introducing, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, bachelor, bachelor pad, middle class, new middle class"You may have heard me on 'Fresh Air with Terry Gross.' I'm Terry Gross."
"These are some of my new friends from birthing class."
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dog, dogs, birthing class, birthing classes, pregnancy, introduction, introductions, introduce, introducing, antenatal group, antenatal groups, antenatal class, antenatal classes, kennel, kennels, dog house, new friend, new friends, in the dog house, anti social, unsocial, introvert, introverts, introverted"And this is Brie."
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introductions, introducing, name, names, popular name, popular names, baby names, girl's names, food, brie, cheese, cheese wheel, cheese wheels, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, family, families"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."
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hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, greeting, greetings, introduction, introductions, introducing, restaurant, restaurants, server, servers, waiter, waiters, service, customer service, polite, good manners"Good to meet you, too, Sarah. See you in the A.M."
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meet, meets, meeting, one night stand, one night stands, introduce, introduces, introducing, introduction, introductions, modern relationship, modern relationships, modern life, modern times, date, dates, dating, single life, promiscuous, promiscuity, meet, meets, meeting, greet, greets, greeting, greetings"You simply must meet my husband."
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grim reaper, angel of death, death, scythe, scythes, husband, husbands, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, mariticide, introduce, introduces, introduction, introductions, introducing, wife, wives, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murderess, murderesses, upper class, upper classes, murder mystery, murder mysteries"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."
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obituary, uobituaries, trophy wife, trophy wives, old man, old men, grump, grumpy, grumps, hateful, bigot, bigots, bigotry, ageism, ageist, widely-anticipated, article, articles, cocktail party, cocktail parties, insult, insults, insulting, rude, rudeness, dying, enemy, enemies, hatred, hatreds, old hatred, worst enemy, worst enemies, frenemy, frenemies, cutting, comment, comments, introduction, introductions, introduce, introducing, party, parties"I'd like you to meet Nan and Leo, but I think you already know Nan from back when it was Nan and Ralph."
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couple, couples, divorce, divorces, divorcing, remarry, remarries, remarrying, second marriage, second marriages, introduce, introduces, introduction, introductions, introducing, party, parties, split up, splits up, splitting up, break up, breaks up, breaking up, new partner, partner, partners, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, new identity, new identities, identity change, identity changes"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."
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relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, spouse, spouses, always together, attached at the hip, joined at the hip, annoying couple, annoying couples, pair, pairs, partner, partners, introductions, introducing, friend, friends, friendship, obsessed"Here he is, folks, straight from his deathbed in Jersey City, a beautiful guy—let's hear a nice round of applause for . . ."
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deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, heaven, heavenly, heavens, heavenly gates, pearly gates, st peter, peter, saint, saints, angel, angels, angelic, angelically, religious, god, gods, lord, religions, religious imagery, st. peter, the heavens, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, paradise, paradiso, nirvana, condolence, condolences, sympathy, sympathies, introducing, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduced, audience, applause, applaud, applauded, applauding, applauds"Francophobe meet Francophile."
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party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, guest, guests, introductions, introducing, language, languages, foreign language, foreign languages, french, francophile, francophobe, unlikely friendship, unlikely friendships, opposites, opposites attract, relationship, relationships, word play, wordplay"And lastly, Your Honor, I would like to present Mr. Richard Coan in the small but crucial role of the defendant."
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court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, defence, defense, client, clients, defendant, defendants, role, roles, acting, actor, actors, introducing, introductions"Shaded blue box on our org chart, meet dotted red arrow."
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flow chart, flow charts, employee, employees, corporate mentality, corporate mentality, corporation, corporations, megacorporation, megacorporations, business, jargon, term, terms, terminology, dehumanize, dehumanizes, dehumanizing, dehumanise, dehumanises, dehumanising, dehumanization, dehumanisation, manager, managers, management, org chart, org charts, chart, charts, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduces, introducing, impersonal"Daddy, this is Fletcher - unplugged."
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new boyfriend, new boyfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, acoustic, acoustic guitar, acoustic guitars, guitarist, guitarists, guitar player, guitar players, unplugged, father, fathers, dad, dads, daughter, daughters, parent, parents, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduces, introducing, loser, losers, first impression, first impressions, bad first impression, bad first impressions, musician, musicians"Can't you introduce me without its sounding like flap copy?"
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flap copy, flap copies, book, books, jacket flap copy, jacket flap copies, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, gender issues, gender inequality, misogyny, introduce, introducing, introduction, introductions, relationship, coupled, couples, brag, bragging, boast, boasting, talk-up, talk up, talking-up, talking up, grandstand, grandstanding, dust jacket, dust jackets, cover jack, cover jackets, blurb, blurbs, disagree, disagreement, argue, argument