Jealous Cartoons

"Og discovered fire, and Thorak invented the wheel. There's nothing left for us."

King glaring at a map labelled "Mine" and "Theirs"

"If I were a car, you could find the words."

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

"I only sniffed his ass to be polite."

"What riles me is that he got a genius grant and I didn't."

"Iron Man—why didn't I think of that?"

"You had more money than God. That's a big no-no."

"Why, I think he's trying to impress you."

A woman has an "A+" scarlet letter.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

"My boyfriend is the son my parents always wanted."

"I hope you kept the box it came in."

"I hear his allowance is in the two figures."

"When you're finished not looking at here, can you divert your non-attention to me?"

"I'm having a pajama day."

"She thinks she's so great cause she has real celiac disease."

"What can I say? He makes me laugh."

On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy

"You realize, of course, that this means war."

"You make me want to be a better person than you."

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

"I'm sorry, but Pauline's sleeping now. With me! And she's mine—all mine! You hapless 3 A.M. ex!"

"Not tonight, hon — I had a yogasm in class."