"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."
Tags:
animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, hr, h.r., human resources, business, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, manager, managers, career, careers, job, work, employee, employees, prospective, potential, rich, wealthy, money, hiring"I gotta tell ya, these embezzlement convictions raise a red flag."
Tags:
business, personnel, crime, ethics, moral relativity, jargon, application, applications, criminal history, criminal history, red flag, red flags, conviction, convictions, embezzlement, embezzle, embezzles, embezzling, red flag, red flags, job application, job applications, job interview, job interviews, interviewing, warning, warning sign, warning signs, corporate crime, corporate criminal, white collar crime, white collar crimes, mankoff"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."
Tags:
m.b.a., mba, degree, degrees, master of business of administration, home school, homeschool, homeschooling, home schooling, homeschooled, home schooled, homeschooling problems, home schooling problems, education, education level, education levels, student, students, job interview, interviewer, interviewers, recruit, recruiter, recruiters, human resources, hr, h.r., employer, employers, employee, employees, manager, managers, job hunting, job search, job, jobs, work, career, careers, unemployed, unemployment, unemployable, resume, cv, c.v., proud parent, proud parents, exaggeration, exaggerated, embellishment, embellish, hyperbole, false, fake, business, business degree, university, university degree, university degrees, college, college degree, college degrees, hire, hiring, achievement, achievements"Remember when I said I was going to be honest with you, Jeff? That was a big, fat lie."
Tags:
honest, honesty, lie, lies, lying, white lie, white lies, expectation, expectations, sincerity, insincere, sincere, truth, truthteller, truthtellers, truthtelling, truth teller, truth tellers, truth telling, falsehood, falsehoods, false, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, 1 to 1, one to one, 1 2 1"Sorry, you're overqualified."
Tags:
snail, snails, rejection, rejections, job application, job applications, job interview, job interviews, overqualified, over qualification, over-qualification, overqualification, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, excuse, excuses, making excuses, mollusc, molluscs, snail drawing, snail drawings"You're in luck. We have an opening for low man on the totem pole."
Tags:
totem pole, totem poles, hierarchy, hierarchies, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, corporation, corporations, entry level, entry level job, entry level jobs, job opening, job openings, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, hr, hr department, h.r. department, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
Tags:
idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers"We have only jobs here, Mr. Sanderson, not 'gigs.' "
Tags:
gig, gigs, personnel, personnel department, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, job, jobs, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, demand, demands, demanding, temp, temps, class divide, class division, class divisions, for hire, contractor, contractors, contracting, contract work, musician, musicians, lingo, jargon"We're interested in words, not deeds."
Tags:
word, words, deed, deeds, public relations, pr, pr department, pr departments, representative, representatives, representation, personal representative, personal representatives, personal representation, action, actions, actions speak louder than words, hiring, hired, hiring officer, recruit, recruits, recruiting, job candidate, job interview, job interviews, superficial, superficiality, surface-level"My greatest asset is my ability to tell you exactly what you want to hear."
Tags:
businessman, businessmen, businesswoman, businesswomen, office, offices, office life, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, job, jobs, hiring, strength, strengths, asset, assets, ability, abilities, talent, talents, skill, skills, flattery, sycophancy, corporate culture"I can only discuss salary and benefits. You'll have to analyze the babe situation yourself."
Tags:
babe, babes, sexist, sexists, misogynist, misogynists, misogyny, workplace, workplaces, male-dominated, man, men, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, bro, bros, dudebro, dudebros, job interview, job interviews, salary, salaries, benefits, job qualification, job qualifications, attraction, self-interest, self-interested, hiring officer, hiring officers, feminist, feminists, feminism, corporate culture"So, where do you see yourself in five thousand years?"
Tags:
shinx, the sphinx, ancient egypt, ancient egyptians, pyramids of giza, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, job application, job applications, interviewer, interviewers, interview question, interview questions, cliche, cliches, great sphinx of giza, stupid question, stupid questions, monument, monuments, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists"If we give you an office with a window, how do we know you won't just fly away?"
Tags:
bird, birds, birdman, birdmen, hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, searching for a job, employee, employment, promotion, promotions, office manager, office managers, office management, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office space, office spaces, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."
Tags:
hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, c.v., c.v.s, cv, curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, criminal record, felony, felonies, felon, felons, convict, convicts, crime, criminal, criminals, searching for a job, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, white-collar crime, business, businessman, businessmen, corporate crime, corruption, unemployment, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barrister, solicitor, solicitors, client, clients, strength, strengths, weakness, weaknesses, suitability, balance"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."
Tags:
audition, auditions, electric guitar, electric guitars, acoustic guitar, acoustic guitars, musician, musicians, musical instrument, musical instruments, guitarist, guitarists, fingerpicking, earthy, musical taste, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, interview, interviews, interviewing process"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."
Tags:
resume, resumes, dna, dna smaple, dna samples, invasion of privacy, invasions of privacy, urine test, urine tests, test, tests, testing, hiring, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, qualification, qualifications, employment officer, employment officers, genetics, gene, genes, job applicant, job applicants, job application, job applications, personnel, gene, genes, genome, genomes, human resources"We already have an eight-hundred-pound gorilla."
Tags:
800 lb gorilla, 800 pound gorilla, eight hundred pound gorilla, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, job interview, job interviews, redundant, redundancy, skill, skills, skillset, skillsets, skill set, skill sets, personnel, personnel department, hr department, human resources, qualified, qualifying, job candidate, job candidates, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, stand out, stands out, standing out, unique"You should be aware that we already have a strong in-house candidate."
Tags:
candidate, candidates, job candidate, interview, interviews, interviewing, subservient, subservience, kiss butt, kisses butt, suckup, suckups, suck up, sucks up, qualification, qualifications, skill, skills, skillset, skillsets, skill set, skill sets, job interview, job interviews, lost cause, lost causes, hopeless, hopelessness"In five years, I see myself with the same job title, about the same salary, and significantly more responsibilities."
Tags:
business, businessman, businessmen, businesswoman, businesswomen, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, job, jobs, hiring, job interview, job interviews, interview question, interview questions, where do you see yourself in five years, job title, job titles, salary, salaries, money, income, finances, responsibilities, promotion, promotions, modern life"Will my office be near an ice machine."
Tags:
job interview, job interviews, job application, job applications, priorities, wrong priorities, bad priorities, new job, new jobs, new office, new offices, recruitment officer, recruitment officers, hiring, ice machine, ice machines, important question, important questions, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobsThe Judgment of Paris
Tags:
paris, judgment of paris, judgement of paris, greek, greek myth, greek myths, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, aphrodite, venus, judgement, judgements, judgment, judgments, judgmental, judgemental, interview question, interview questions, question, questions, questioning, art history, skill, skills, skillset, skillsets, skill set, skill sets, qualification, qualifications, job qualification, job qualifications, trojan, trojan war, rome, foundation of rome