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"I'm sorry, but there is no more fast lane. We all live on the median now."
"I got fired, too. Apparently, the world needs only so many giraffes."
"If the Obama Transition Team is interested they'll leave a message."
"I'm really excited about this opportunity, but I'm hoping there's room to negotiate the title? What about 'Rise-to-the-Occasion-Mary', or 'Cool-Under-Pressure-Mary'?"
"It's not nepotism if I'm the best son for the job."