"The knees are the first to go."
Tags:knee, knees, santa, santa claus, father christmas, department store santa, department store santas, work-related injury, work-related injuries, injury, injuries, knee, knees, knee pain, weight, added weight, extra weight, stress fracture, stress fractures, fracture, fractures, sprain, sprains, sprained, fractured, joint, joints, joint pain
"We began with a hip replacement and just sort of riffed off that."
Tags:replacement, hip replacement, robot, robots, bits and bobs, trash, garage sale, yard sale, replaced, replace, upgrade, upgrades, prosthetic, prosthetics, amputees, prosthesis, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, get well, get well soon, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, hip, hips, joint, joints, arthritis, growing old, older, age, aged, ageing
"You have a lot of boring health issues, so I'm prescribing medical marijuana for myself."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, drug, marijuana, mary j, ganja, pot, weed, hash, hashish, hemp, smoke, smoking, joint, blunt, bong, medicinal, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stress, stressed out, legalized, legalised, legalisation, legalization, health issue, bore, bored, boring
"You have one repetitive stress injury, one carpal tunnel syndrome and twenty-eight cellphone thumbs."
Tags:repetitive stress injury, repetitive stress injuries, stress, stresses, carpal tunnel, carpal tunnel syndrome, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, occupational hazard, occupational hazards, doctor, doctors, medical student, medical students, injury, injuries, stress fracture, stress fractures, joint, joints, joint pain, arthritis
"I looked at you and thought, I bet this man runs marathons."
Tags:party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, introduction, introductions, introducing, first meeting, sport, sports, fitness, health, runner, runners, athlete, athletes, athletic, fit, in shape, joint, joints, body shape, marathon, marathons, race, races, racer, racers, stick figure, stick figures, hobby, hobbies, leisure
"I recommend using your third wish to prevent joint pain in later years."
Tags:genie, genies, wish, wishes, wished, wishing, three wishes, old age, aging, pain, pains, ache, aches, aching, joint pain, joints, arthritis, joint, later years, painful, aged, lesson, recommend, recommending, sensible, overly sensible, salad days, youth, inexperience, practical, realistic, realistically, practically, legend, myths, myth, legends, medical, pain relief
Dolphins Coming Up for a Smole
Tags:dolphin, dolphins, smoke, smoking, coming up for air, addict, addicted, addicts, addictions, smoking addict, cigarette addict, nicotine, nicotine addict, smoking addicts, smoking addiction, cigarette addicts, cigarette addiction, nicotine addicts, nicotine addiction, inhale, inhaling, going out for a smoke, out for a smoke, joint, joints, smoke a joint, health problems, health problem, lung cancer
Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Family Ties
Tags:college, pot smoker, pot smokers, pot smoking, marijuana, joint, joints, smoke a joint, smoking a joint, drug, drug use, college kid, college kids, home from college, excuse, excuses, stall, stalls, stalling, mother, mothers, parent, parents, parenting, fib, fibs, fibbing, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, make an excuse, making an excuse, making excuses, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, family ties, habit, habits, bad habit, bad habits
Elon Musk in fly me to the moon
"I don't tell you how to gather."
Tags:caveman, cavemen, primitive, dad, dads, father, fathers, family, families, children, kid, kids, cook, cooks, cooking, meat, joint, joints, leg, legs, gather, gathering, food gathering, forage, foraging, hunt, hunts, hunting, teach, not teaching, survival, instinct, survival instinct, learn, learns, learning, hungry, hunger, starve, starving, starvation, survival of the fittest
"Here's how to fit in: overstress, overthink, and wine about everything."
Tags:fit in, fitting in, new employee, new employees, newbie, new job, new jobs, workplace culture, workplace cultures, complain, complaining, complaints, stress, stressful environment, stressful workplace, stressful workplaces, whine, whinge, stoned, stoner, stoners, joint, joints, smoking, smoker, smokers, marajana