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"The knees are the first to go."
"We began with a hip replacement and just sort of riffed off that."
"You have one repetitive stress injury, one carpal tunnel syndrome and twenty-eight cellphone thumbs."
"I looked at you and thought, I bet this man runs marathons."
"I recommend using your third wish to prevent joint pain in later years."
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"Here's how to fit in: overstress, overthink, and wine about everything."