"That's an excellent prescreened question, but before I give you my stock answer I'd like to try to disarm everyone with a carefully rehearsed joke."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, debate, debates, political debate, political debates, speech, speeches, presentation, presentations, election, elections, public speaking, public debate, public debates, pre-screen question, pre-screened questions, question, questions, stock answer, stock answers, answer, answers, rehearse, rehearsal, rehearsals, rehearsed, joke, jokes, candidate, candidates, political candidate, political candidates, debating, podium, podiums, audience, auditorium, auditoriums, stage, stages, presidential candidate, presidential candidates, presidential election, presidential elections, campaign, campaigns, political, prepared, preparation, preparations, disarm
"If you laugh at all of God's jokes, he's never going to learn what's funny."
"But, seriously. . ."
Tags:grave, graves, graveyard, graveyards, gravestone, gravestones, tomb, tombs, mourner, mourners, mourning, mourn, mourned, griever, grievers, grief, griefs, burial, burials, cemetery, cemeteries, sense of humour, inappropriate, inappropriateness, joke, jokes, sense of humor, funeral, funerals, funeral humour, funeral humor
Ballerinas Change a Light bulb
"You must have thought up a million jokes."
"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."
Tags:king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, kid, kids, child, children, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, talking on the phone, talking on the telephone, conversation, conversations, talking with kids, talking with children, humor, humour, joke, jokes, joking, le roi s'amuse, victor hugo, word play, wordplay
"As a joke let's take them to ... and tell them that's our leader."
Tags:alien, aliens, martian, martians, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials, science fiction, sci-fi, spaceship, spaceships, flying saucer, fly saucers, ufo, ufos, u.f.o., u.f.o.s, unidentified flying object, unidentified flying objects, joke, jokes, joking, leader, leaders, human, humans, alien invasion, martian invasion, extraterrestrial invasion
A car with cans tied to back bumper drives away; the words "Just Kidding," are written in big letters on its back bumper.
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, newlywed, newlyweds, wedding, weddings, wedding tradition, wedding traditions, just married, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, tin cans, ribbons, decorations, decorated, driving, transportation, bumper, bumper sticker, bumper stickers, just kidding, joke, jokes, joking, practical joke, practical jokes, prank, pranks
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana? But seriously, that's the last time we knock."
"But seriously, folks..."
"No...ha-ha, no, but seriously, boy, I'm going to have to eat you now."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, fetch, fetching, playing fetch, joke, jokes, joking, jest, jests, jesting, rejection, rejections, rejecting, refusing, refusal, refusals, haughty, stuck up, stuck-up, conceited, snobby, snobbish, arrogant
"Government surveillance I don't mind. What disturbs me is the bad jokes my friends constantly make about our calls being monitored."
Tags:government surveillance, surveillance state, surveillance states, monitor, monitors, monitoring, friend, friends, annoying, annoyance, annoyances, joke, jokes, kid, kids, kidding, paranoid, paranoia, panopticon, panopticons, all-seeing, all-seeing eye, all-seeing eyes, listen in, listens in, listening in, phone call, phone calls, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones
"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, chicken, chickens, hen, hens, rooster, roosters, chick, chicks, road, roads, farm, farms, farmer, farmers, poultry, why did the chicken cross the road, joke, jokes, undercooked, under cooked, pink, danger, dangerous, risky, salmonella, campylobacter, hygiene, bacteria, death, deadly, food poisoning, food borne illness, foodbourne illness, advice, advising, life lesson, life lessons, medical, medicine, health inspector, health inspectors, health inspection, food safety, health, unhealthy
"Why do you think you cross the road?"
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, how does that make you feel, feelings, motivation, motivations, motive, motives, animal, animals, chicken, chickens, cross the road, why did the chicken cross the road, crossing the road, joke, jokes, classic joke, classic jokes, mental health, health care, healthcare
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.
"I developed my sense of humor as a defense mechanism and it turned into a lethal offensive weapon."
Tags:funny, funny women, funny woman, sense of humor, sense of humour, jokes, joke telling, joker, jokers, cracking jokes, making people laugh, laugh, laughing, women, woman, girl, girls, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, drink, drinks, drinking, drunk, attractive, good personality, likeable, enjoyable, charming, defense mechanism, defence mechanism, weapon, lethal weapon, weapons
"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."
Tags:hollywood, la, l.a., producer, producers, director, directors, screenwriter, screenwriters, script, scripts, playwrite, playwright, playwrights, movie, movies, film, films, red flag, red-flag, red-flagged, red flagged, joke, jokes, sense of humour, sense of humor, film studio, film studios, movie studio, movie studios
Co-pilot smirks at paper airplane stuck in the hair of the pilot
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplane, air travel, flying, pilot, pilots, co-pilot, co-pilots, copilot, copilots, co-worker, co-workers, coworker, coworkers, colleague, colleagues, friend, friends, mate, mates, friendship, prank, pranks, joke, jokes, origami, paper-folding, paper airplane, paper airplanes, paper aeroplane, paper aeroplanes, funny, fool, laughing, smile, smiling, smirk, smirking, childish, childishness, immature, toy, toys, relationship, relationships, fun, having fun at work, cute
Hamlet And Yorick The Prequel
"Do you guys need a wacky, fun-loving jokester for your crew? I can make silly sounds."
Tags:bird, birds, migration, migrating, geese, goose, toucan, toucans, personality, joke, jokes, silly, wacky, wacky, migrate, fly, flying, flock, flocks, congregation, flock of birds, joker, jokers, joking, fun, fun-loving, fun loving, friend, friends, making friends, making friend, making a friend, left out, crew, crews, group, groups, friendly, over friendly, over-friendly
"Let me check my card file for a joke about your condition."
"Hey, I'm just messing with your head."
Tags:shrink, shrinks, headshrinker, headshrinkers, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, therapist, therapists, therapy, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, mess with your head, messing with your head, prank, pranks, joke, jokes, cruel, cruelty, inappropriate, inappropriateness, manipulative, emotional, manipulation, tease, teases, teasing
Karate Class Clown
"Excuse me—does this joke need a lawyer?"
Tags:joke, jokes, punchline, punch line, punch-line, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotype, classic, classic, standard, standard, joke theory, comedy theory, comedy, comedic value, jumper, jumped, jump, don't jump, high rise, high-rise, skyscraper, suicidal, great depression, servicemen, serviceman, service man, service men, diverse, diversity, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, police man, police officer, police, officer, cop, cops, fireman, firemen, fire fighter, fire fighters, lawyer, lawyers