"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"
"It's your real-estate agent. She says she may have found you a higher ledge."
Tags:dark humour, dark humor, gallows humor, gallows, gallows humour, black humor, black humour, jump, jumping, ledge, jump off, ledges, real-estate, real estate, apartment, apartments, sales, sales pitch, hard sell, bad timing, timing, talk down, suicidal, ledge, ledges, location, locations, leap, leaps, leaping
"What other tricks does he need?"
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, trick, tricks, dog, dogs, martini, martinis, bartender, bartenders, drinker, drinkers, heavy drinker, heavy drinkers, catch, catches, catching, fetch, fetches, fetching, jump, jumps, leap, leaps, leaping, dog trainer, dog trainers, dog training, trainer, trainers, training, alcoholism, alcoholic, alcoholics
Chocolate Lovers' Leap
A crash test dummy counts sheep.
Tags:sleep, sleeps, sleeping, crash test dummy, crash test dummies, dummy, dummies, count sheep, counts sheep, counting sheep, jump, jumps, jumping, crash, crashes, insomnia, insomniac, insomniacs, danger, dangers, dangerous, stunt, stunts, relax, relaxes, relaxing, car crash, car crashes, car accident, car accidents
"You know kids love boundaries, Dad."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, kid, kids, childhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, son, sons, boundaries, set boundaries, setting boundaries, play ground, play grounds, playgrounds, playground, play park, play parks, playparks, playpark, swing, swings, swingset, swingsets, play, playing, fathers and sons, immature, immaturity, childish, childishness, childish behaviour, jump, jumping
"I always thought white-collar crime was done by computer."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, white collar, white collar crime, white collar crimes, crime, crimes, holdup, holdups, computer, computers, gang, gangs, stealing, stolen, stole, thief, thieves, identity theft, shake down, jump, jumped, law and order
Welcome to Lovers' Leap
Tags:lovers leap, assisted, unassisted, help, helpful, independent, assisted suicide, unassisted suicide, black humour, black humor, death, dead, end, dead end, doom, jump, jumps, jumping, leaping, leap, leaps, romantic tragedy, romantic tragedies, tragic, tragedy, fatal, fall, cliffs, high cliffs, downfall, direction, down
"Excuse me—does this joke need a lawyer?"
Tags:joke, jokes, punchline, punch line, punch-line, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotype, classic, classic, standard, standard, joke theory, comedy theory, comedy, comedic value, jumper, jumped, jump, don't jump, high rise, high-rise, skyscraper, suicidal, great depression, servicemen, serviceman, service man, service men, diverse, diversity, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, police man, police officer, police, officer, cop, cops, fireman, firemen, fire fighter, fire fighters, lawyer, lawyers
The Rivalry Begins
Tags:superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, hero, heroes, rival, rivals, rivalry, rivalries, competition, competitor, competitors, competition, competitive, super power, super powers, superpower, superpowers, jump, jumping, dare, dares, daring, double dare, risk, risky, risks, contest, contesting, origin story, origin stories
"You won't see a more naturally gifted skater."
Tags:dna, genetic, genetics, science, sciences, natural science, scientist, scientists, scientific, scientifically, biology, biological, human biology, genome, human, humans, mankind, ice skate, ice skates, ice skating, ice, on ice, skating, skate, skates, figure skating, figure skater, figure skaters, natural, naturally, organic, organics, helix, quadruple, triple, jump, toe loop, spiral, spin, twist, spin, sport, sports, winter sports, winter, professional sport
"Can you just once get to the damn point without the usual embellishments?"
Tags:ballet, ballerina, prance, prancing, grande jeté, jeté, jete, saut de chat, leap, leaps, leaping, jump, jumping, jumps, jumped, couple, energy, energetic, verve, prima, flamboyant, flamboyancy, beauty, beautiful, elegance, elegant, elegantly, theatre, theater, perform, performance, performing, art, artist, artistic, couple, couples, embellishment, embellishments, communication, married, married life, communicate, communicating, skill, skills, talking, talk, argue, argument, arguments
Tags:ballet, ballerina, prance, prancing, grande jeté, jeté, jete, saut de chat, leap, leaps, leaping, jump, jumping, jumps, jumped, couple, energy, energetic, verve, prima, flamboyant, flamboyancy, beauty, beautiful, elegance, elegant, elegantly, theatre, theater, perform, performance, performing, art, artist, artistic, coffee, coffee, caffeine, caffeinated, high caffeine, espresso, urban, urban life, urban living, fit, fitness, foodie, foodies, food lover, morning coffee, morning, mornings
"Not your chord! The chute! Pull the chute!"
Tags:teddy bear, teddy bears, talking bear, talking bears, bear, bears, cuddly toy, cuddly toys, soft toy, soft toys, parachute, parachutes, parachuting, skydive, skydives, sky-dive, sky-dives, sky dive, sky dives, skydiver, skydivers, skydiving, sky-diving, sky-diver, sky-divers, extreme sport, mix up, mix-ups, adrenaline junkie, adrenaline junkies, instructor, instructors, jump, jumps, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airplane, airplanes
Cat doing complex equation to work out the jump he needs to make.
Tags:equation, equations, formula, formulae, cat, cats, instinct, reason, feline, felines, pet, pets, pet cat, pet cats, mathematician, mathematicians, mathematics, math, maths, geometry, theorem, leap, leaps, angle, angles, jump, jumps, jumping, counter, counters, calculate, calculates, calculating, calculation, calculations, trig, trigonometry, overcomplicate, overcomplicates, overcomplicating, overthink, overthinks, overthinking
"Now I want you to jump over this candlestick fifteen times! Go!"
Tags:nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, jack, jack be nimble, jump over, jump, jumping, candle, candles, candlestick, candlesticks, exercise, exercising, fitness, personal training, personal trainer, personal trainers, jumping jack, jumping jacks, gym, gyms, fitness club, fitness clubs, health club, health clubs, fitness centre, fitness centres, fitness center, fitness centers
"I'm telling you, you need to try interval hopping."
Tags:intervals, interval, interval training, training, exercise, exercising, gym, hop, hopping, jump, jumping, high intensity, low intensity, intense, intensity, variations, bunny, bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, talking bunny, talking bunnies, talking rabbit, talking rabbits, talking animal, talking animals, gym rat, fitness, health, fit, keeping fit, working out, work out, friends, friend, animal, animals, fitness routine, fitness routines
"You call that high, Mr Raskin?"
Tags:business man, business men, businessman, business men, business person, jump, jumping, jumping through hoops, career ladder, the career ladder, corporate ladder, business ladder, promotion, promotopms, you say how high, expression, expressions, business talk, business jargon, management style, management styles, business people, businessperson, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, business manager, business managers, boss, bosses
"Somebody's been watching 'Jackass'."
Tags:cow, cows, bull, bulls, livestock, farm, farms, farming, ranch, ranches, ranching, dairy farm, dairy farmer, dairy farmers, the cow jumped over the moon, full moon, full moons, jumping, jump, flying cow, cows flying, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, hey diddle diddle, mother goose, children's story, children's stories, stunts, stunt, prank, pranks, television, t.v., tv, tv reference, tv show, television show, television reference, television addiction, television addict, binge, binging, binge watching
"And how does it make you feel when she jumps over you and calls you a lazy dog?"
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, couples therapy, marriage counselor, marriage counselors, marriage counseling, marriage counsellor, marriage counsellors, marriage counselling, animal, animals, anthropomorphic, personification, dog, dogs, fox, foxes, quick brown fox, lazy dog, jump, jumps, jumping, lazy, laziness, feeling, feelings, hurt feelings, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, couple, couples, the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog, panagram, panagrams, sentence, sentences, alphabet, keyboard, keyboards, typist, typists, typing, writing, writer, writers
"You guys go ahead. I've decided to smoke myself to death."
"Lemming Boot Camp"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, lemming, lemmings, jump, jumping, jumping off a cliff, cliff, cliffs, military, drill, drills, boot camp, boot camps, recruit, recruits, training, drill sergeant, drill sergeants, bucket, buckets, water, insult, insults, insulting, cowardice, coward, cowards, nervous, anxious, afraid, scared
"You have to get closer to that banana peel for me to believe you're serious."
Tags:jump, jumps, jumping, jumper, jumpers, banana peel, banana peels, banana skin, banana skins, slip, slips, slipping, danger, dangers, threaten, threatens, threatening, belief, believes, believing, disbelief, skeptic, skeptics, skeptical, sceptic, sceptics, sceptical, believe, believes, believing, bad marriage, bad marriages, combative
"Iced grande soy triple-lutz latte!"
Tags:ice skate, ice skates, ice skating, ice, on ice, skating, skate, skates, figure skating, figure skater, figure skaters, natural, triple-lutz, lutz, organic, organics, helix, quadruple, triple, jump, toe loop, spiral, spin, twist, spin, sport, sports, winter sports, winter, professional sport, coffee, coffee shope, callout, call-out, call out, callouts, call-outs, call outs, order up, iced, soy, soy latte