"It was a sweater when I began."
"With the cost of heating oil at an all-time high, perhaps you now regret exchanging those sensible Christmas sweaters for the fleeting amusement of toys."
Tags:heating oil, christmas, christmas sweater, christmas sweaters, justification, justifications, justify, trade, trades, instant gratification, amusement, toy, toys, lesson, lessons, life lesson, life lessons, practical, practicality, jumper, jumpers, christmas jumper, christmas jumpers, dad, dads, father, fathers, parent, parents, build character, building character, builds character, freezing, freeze, freezes
"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."
"If you're not going to come back inside, at least put on a sweater."
Ask me about my thick neck.
Tags:shirt, t shirt, t-shirt, shirts, t shirts, t-shirts, sweater, sweaters, jumper, jumpers, slogan, slogans, ask me about my, neck, necks, thick, thicker, thickest, jugular, fashion, fashions, clothes, ask me about my shirt, ask, asking, questions, questioning, help, helping, exercise, exercising, bodybuild, body building, body builders
"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"
Tags:sweater, sweaters, jumper, jumpers, trench, trenchcoat, trenchcoats, trenches, trench coat, trench coats, dog, dogs, doggie, doggies, pet, pets, dog owner, dog owners, dog lover, dog lovers, walk, walks, walking, intimidate, intimidates, intimidating, scare, scares, scary, frighten, frightens, frightening, tough, tough guy, tough guys
"Please, Melissa, just give him your cashmere!"
"Excuse me—does this joke need a lawyer?"
Tags:joke, jokes, punchline, punch line, punch-line, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotype, classic, classic, standard, standard, joke theory, comedy theory, comedy, comedic value, jumper, jumped, jump, don't jump, high rise, high-rise, skyscraper, suicidal, great depression, servicemen, serviceman, service man, service men, diverse, diversity, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, police man, police officer, police, officer, cop, cops, fireman, firemen, fire fighter, fire fighters, lawyer, lawyers
"It was better before God took up knitting."
Tags:hobbies, hobby, craft, crafts, knit, knitting, knitter, knits, fashion, fashions, fashionable, wool, woolen, woolens, woolen goods, jumper, jumpers, pullover, pullovers, sweater, sweaters, winter, winter fashion, winter clothes, fall fashion, fall, merry christmas, happy holidays, happy christmas, god, gods, religious imagery, angel, angels, angelic, angelically, robe, robes, halo, halos, cloud, clouds, christian, christianity, christians, wooly, heaven, heavens, heavenly
Dogs wearing sweaters
"I like a relaxed fit."
Tags:elephant, elephants, fashions, jumper, jumpers, fitted, fitted clothing, fitted clothes, relaxed fit, relaxed fitting, style, styles, personal styles, personal style, sweater, sweater, trend, trends, trend setter, trend setters, fashion icon, fashion icons, woolly jumper, woolly jumpers, hipster, hipsters, giraffe, giraffes, snake, snakes, coyote, coyotes
Dog and Runner Jumping Hurdles Together
"It's raw, unprocessed wool."
Tags:sheep, wool, jumper, jumpers, sweater, sweaters, wool jumper, wool jumpers, raw wool, unprocessed wool, fashions, personal style, personal styles, fashion choice, fashion choices, trend setter, trend setters, natural fibre, natural fibres, individualistic, individualism, pretentious, pretension, pretentiousness
"Oh, fine, thanks. And yourself?"
Tags:business, building, jumper, jumpers, stock market, stock market crash, stockbroker, stockbrokers, market crash, market crashes, ledge, ledges, out on the ledge, polite, manners, good manners, deference, deferential, courteous, businessman, businessmen, greeting, greetings, formal, formality, formalities, pleasantry, pleasantries, mankoff
"I had my coat made into a sweater."
"You guys go ahead. I've decided to smoke myself to death."
Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.
Tags:sport, sports, extreme sport, extreme sports, risk taker, risk takers, risky, dangerous, bungee jumping, jumper, jumpers, bungee cord, egg, eggs, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, bad idea, wall, walls, falling, jumping
"You have to get closer to that banana peel for me to believe you're serious."
Tags:jump, jumps, jumping, jumper, jumpers, banana peel, banana peels, banana skin, banana skins, slip, slips, slipping, danger, dangers, threaten, threatens, threatening, belief, believes, believing, disbelief, skeptic, skeptics, skeptical, sceptic, sceptics, sceptical, believe, believes, believing, bad marriage, bad marriages, combative
"Wow! Do you think he would have jumped?"
Reasons for Return...
Tags:returns policy, returns policies, return, returns, warranty, warranties, sweater, sweaters, jumper, jumpers, receipt, receipts, online shopping, online shop, online shops, internet shop, internet shops, internet shopping, difficult customer, difficult customers, customer service, customer services
"There's a loose string on your sweater, dear, but I'm afraid to pull it."
Tags:loose thread, loose threads, thread, threads, string, strings, sweater, sweaters, jumper, jumpers, possessed, possession, demonic possession, demonic possessions, scare, scares, scaring, horror, horrors, halloween, afraid, scare, scares, scary, frighten, frightens, frightening, intimidate, intimidates, intimidating, intimidation
"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."
We Print Anything on Your T-Shirt
Tags:t-shirt, t-shirts, custom, customised, customized, customisation, customization, cigar store, cigar stores, cigar shop, cigar shops, insensitive, insensitivity, dark humor, black humor, black humour, dark humour, print, prints, printing, printing store, ledge, ledges, talk down, talks down, talking down, jumper, jumpers, jumping
"Don't jump! Just think what it'll do to your wife and kids, not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!"
"Sssh! It's okay, dear. Whenever a door closes. There are always plenty of windows left to jump out of."