Justifications Cartoons

"I always thought of myself as a romantic, dashing-outlaw sort of person. But, alas, the law makes no distinction between that and a common criminal."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

"I don't know anything about the bell curve, but I say heredity is everything."

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

"With the cost of heating oil at an all-time high, perhaps you now regret exchanging those sensible Christmas sweaters for the fleeting amusement of toys."

"To be fair, Martha, you started it."

"I suppose one could say that stress is an inescapable part of the human condition."

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

"What are you complaining about? It's a level playing field."

"Well, excuse me for providing a sweatshop in a city that demands attractive—and affordable—pashminas!"

"We're not that well organized, but we know where everybody is."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

"But we're not just talking about buying a car-we're talking about confronting this country's trade deficit with Japan."

"Survival of the fittest, pal - in the end, it's best for all concerned."

"All right, I lied to you. All governments lie!"

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

"This just in! The fault is not in ourselves, but in our stars."

"All I'm saying is that if God created man in his own image he was a bit of a cloner himself."

"This is an opportunity to simplify your life - don't blow it."

"I don't know, Henry. After all, 'Time,''Life,''Newsweek,' and the 'Post' don't seem to think pot's bad."

"Sorry—I live in a parallel universe."

“How do I feel about being mugged? Well, naturally I didn’t enjoy it and certainly don’t condone violence or threats of violence as a means toward social change. However, I can empathize with my assailant and realize that in his terms his is a valid response to the deteriorating socioeconomic situation in which we find ourselves.”