"For God's sake, think! Why is he being so nice to you?"
"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."
Tags:praying mantis, praying mantises, manual labor, manual labour, kill, kills, killing, killings, killer, killers, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, insect, insects, entomology, entomologist, entomologists, married life, marriage, marriages, married lives, useful, techincal, shelving, shelving unit, shelving units, assemble, assembles, assembling, assembly, shelves, build, builds, handyman, handymen
"Why can't you be more like Hutchinson? You don't hear him complaining."
Tags:role model, role models, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, corporate hierarchy, corporate hierarchies, hierarchy, hierarchies, corporate culture, business culture, yes man, yes men, ideal, ideals, ideal worker, ideal workers, boss, bosses, manager, managers, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, tyrant, tyrants, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, dictator, dictators, dictatorship, complain, complains, complaining
Mobsters sending a victim down a water slide wearing cement shoes
Tags:mob, mafia, gang, gangster, gangsters, mobster, mobsters, killer, killers, killing, kill, kills, murder, murders, murderers, murderer, victim, victims, swimming with the fish, cement shoes, drowning, waterslide, waterslides, water slide, water slides, waterpark, waterparks, theme park, theme parks, amusement park, amusement parks, pool, pools, dark humor, dark humour, death
Conspiracy Theories $10
"Sorry to crash the party, folks, but all the little people that made it happen were just discovered buried in a shallow grave outside Bakersfield."
Tags:dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor, dead, die, died, death, dying, killed, killing, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, investigate, investigative, investigator, investigators, fbi, f.b.i., federal bureau of investigation, detective, detectives, police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, crimes, criminal, criminals, hollywood, bakersfield, california, award, awards, ceremony
Normal Paisley - Deadly Strain is Introduced.
Tags:paisley, pattern, patterns, garment, garments, virus, viruses, outbreak, outbreaks, pandemic, pandemics, kill, kills, killer, killers, cell, cells, floral print, floral prints, print shirt, print shirts, takeover, takeovers, taking over, bacteria, bacterium, amoeba, amoebas, cell division, microbiology, microbiologist, microbiologists, tacky, tackiness, print, prints
"It's not personal. The boss just doesn't like seeing people in so much debt for such a useless degree."
Tags:degree, degrees, college, colleges, grad, grads, graduate, graduates, graduation, graduations, uni, university, universities, gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafias, mafia boss, mafia bosses, kill, killer, killers, murder, murderer, murderers, drown, drowning, student loan, student loans, student, students
"I'm thinking it might be time to find another pier."
"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."
Tags:gun, guns, starting gun, starting guns, start, starts, starting, football, football season, start, starts, starting, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, driven to murder, sports nut, sports nuts, sports addict, sports addicts, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, drive insane, drives insane, driven insane, american football
"First, you're gonna dig a hole."
"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barristers, defense attorney, defense attorney, counsel, legal counsel, alleged, deny, denies, denial, denials, denying, whale, whales, killer whale, killer whales, orca, orcas, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, trial, trials, objection, objections, not guilty, technicality, technicalities
"The killer had to be a man. Not only is the knife still bloody—it wasn't even put in the sink."
Tags:gender stereotype, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, spouse, spouses, nag, nags, nagging, careless, carelessness, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, husband, husbands, man, men, put away, puts away, putting away, knife, knives, wash, washes, washing up, wash up, washes up, dishwasher, dishwashers, doing dishes, do the dishes, sink, sinks
"You simply must meet my husband."
Tags:grim reaper, angel of death, death, scythe, scythes, husband, husbands, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, mariticide, introduce, introduces, introduction, introductions, introducing, wife, wives, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murderess, murderesses, upper class, upper classes, murder mystery, murder mysteries
"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, dating, couple, couples, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, wife, wives, in-law, in-laws, meeting the parents, meeting the in-laws, visiting the in-laws, parent, parents, father, fathers, dad, dads, murder, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, mystery, homicide, suspicious, questionable, small talk, conversation topic, conversation topics, family, families, family secret, red flag, red flags, warning sign, warning signs
"Well, Hell is going to be so packed – I guess I'd just as soon get there early."
"Oh, and give the executive the right to rain down death from on high."
Tags:drone, drones, drone strike, drone strikes, unilateral authority, president, presidents, declare war, declares war, declaring war, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, executive branch, founding father, founding fathers, intention, intentions, american history, pacifist, pacifists, pacifism, constitution, unconstitutional, drone warfare, obama, barack, trump, donald trump, foreign policy, power, powers, separation of powers, checks and balances
"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."
Tags:sleeping with the fishes, cement shoes, mob, mafia, gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, court, courtroom, courtrooms, court case, court cases, judge, judges, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, criminal, law, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barristers, solicitor, solicitors, drowning, drowned, water quality, inspecting, inspector, inspectors, lake, lakes, river, rivers, cement, witness, witnesses, cover story, cover-up, lie, lies, liar, perjury
"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."
Tags:office, offices, businessman, businessmen, business, businesses, executive, executives, mouse, mice, cat, cats, kitty, kitties, kitten, kittens, pussycat, pussycats, cat owner, cat owners, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, animal, animals, cat lady, cat ladies, intercom, intercoms, threat, threaten, eat, eaten, kill, killer, killers, murder, murdered
"I begged him to get help."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, cocktail, cocktails, saloon, saloons, bartender, bartenders, gun, guns, gun control, second amendment, right to bear arms, firearm, firearms, handgun, weapon, violence, shooting, mass shootings, shootings, school shooting, school shootings, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, killed, murdered, old west, wild west
"Looks like an inside job."
Tags:elf, elves, chirstmas, holiday, holidays, toy, toys, toy maker, toy makers, workshop, santa's workshop, father christmas, santa, santa claus, st nick, st nicholas, fbi, cia, crimes, criminal, criminals, murder, murderer, kill, killer, killers, murderers, inside job, death by candy, stab, stabbed, candy, candy cane, police, policemen, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, investigate, investigation, dead, death, dying, died, die, crime scene
"God, these throw-pillows are terrible for smothering."
Tags:mob, mobster, mobsters, mafia, gang, gangster, gangsters, hitman, hitmen, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murdering, killer, killers, kill, killing, smother, smothering, suffocate, suffocating, death, victim, victims, bed, beds, sleeping, asleep, pillow, pillows, throw-pillow, throw pillow, throw-pillows, throw pillows, cushion, cushions, decorative pillow, decorative pillows, home decor, interior design, useless
Zero Dark Thirtysomething
Tags:thirtysomething, thirtysomethings, seal team six, second thought, second thoughts, doubt, doubts, doubting, career, careers, career path, career paths, bad time, bad timing, awkward, awkward timing, timing, killer, killers, killing, seal team 6, job, jobs, worker, workers, progress, progresses, progression
"But first we're going to watch your phone die."
Tags:gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, mob, mobster, mobsters, mafia, criminal, criminals, death, execution, murder, murderer, murderers, kill, killer, killers, dock, docks, waterfront, pier, piers, harbour, harbor, harbours, harbors, water, sea, seas, ocean, oceans, lake, lakes, sleeping with the fish, cement, cement shoes, cellphone, cellphones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smartphone, smartphones, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, suffer, suffering, cruel, waterlogged, dead phone, phone obsession, phone obsessed, modern life, millennial, millennials
"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"
Tags:subway, train, trains, metro, underground, tube, seat, seats, seat hog, seat hogs, hogging the seat, garbage bag, garbage bags, rubbish bag, rubbish bags, bag, bags, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, married life, couple, couples, marriage, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, dead, body, bodies, dead body, dead bodies, murder, murders, murdered, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, killed, widow, widows, stuff, wife, wives, husband, husbands