"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."
"For God's sake, think! Why is he being so nice to you?"
"A razor-sharp, six-hundred-pound penny for your thoughts, Mr. Bond."
"The system's not perfect, but, by God, it's transparent."
Tags:lion, lions, rabbit, rabbits, predator, predators, prey, hunt, hunts, hunting, hunter, hunters, stalks, stalk, kill, kills, killing, bunny, bunnies, thrown to the lions, expression, expressions, idiom, idioms, the system, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, crony capitalism, crony capitalist, crony capitalists
"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."
Tags:praying mantis, praying mantises, manual labor, manual labour, kill, kills, killing, killings, killer, killers, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, insect, insects, entomology, entomologist, entomologists, married life, marriage, marriages, married lives, useful, techincal, shelving, shelving unit, shelving units, assemble, assembles, assembling, assembly, shelves, build, builds, handyman, handymen
Mobsters sending a victim down a water slide wearing cement shoes
Tags:mob, mafia, gang, gangster, gangsters, mobster, mobsters, killer, killers, killing, kill, kills, murder, murders, murderers, murderer, victim, victims, swimming with the fish, cement shoes, drowning, waterslide, waterslides, water slide, water slides, waterpark, waterparks, theme park, theme parks, amusement park, amusement parks, pool, pools, dark humor, dark humour, death
"Little Joey invented the one-click rubout."
Tags:point-and-click, convenience, innovator, innovators, innovation, innovations, rubout, rubs out, rub out, rubbing out, mafia, hitman, hitmen, hit man, hit men, kill, kills, killing, killings, murder, murders, murdering, single click, single clicks, gun crime, execution, executions, inventor, inventors, invention, mouse click
"Hold it right there."
Conspiracy Theories $10
"Nope. Looks to me like a clear-cut case of suicide by somehow reaching around behind the back and sticking a knife in backward. Let's get a drink."
Tags:detective, detectives, police, crimes, police officer, police officers, officer, officers, stab, criminal, stabbing, stabs, stabbed, kill, killed, killing, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murderous, investigation, investigating, investigate, investigation, investigates, scene, crime scene, crime scenes, lazy, conclusion, unlikely, conclusions, laziness, work, working, bored, suicidal, incompetence, incompetent, cover up, coverup, cover-up, cover ups
"Sorry to crash the party, folks, but all the little people that made it happen were just discovered buried in a shallow grave outside Bakersfield."
Tags:dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor, dead, die, died, death, dying, killed, killing, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, investigate, investigative, investigator, investigators, fbi, f.b.i., federal bureau of investigation, detective, detectives, police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, crimes, criminal, criminals, hollywood, bakersfield, california, award, awards, ceremony
"Anti-personnel land mines pose no threat to people, Colonel. Only to personnel."
Tags:land mine, land mines, anti-personnel, mine, mines, minefield, minefields, mine field, mine fields, military, military personnel, euphemisms, language, language trick, language tricks, kill, kills, killing, killings, murder, murders, murdering, military man, military men, general, generals, commander, commanders, army, armies, officer, officers
"Es tu, Little Caesar?"
"No! No! I swear I didn't say nothing!"
Tags:mobster, mobsters, mob hit, mob hits, hit, hits, mafia, killing, killings, murder, murders, sleep with the fishes, sleeps with the fishes, cement shoes, fish, shark, sharks, talk, talks, talking, stoolie, stoolies, canary, canaries, tortures, gangster, gangsters, shark, sharks, drown, drowns, drowning, ichthyologist, ichthyology, ichthyologists
"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."
Tags:gun, guns, starting gun, starting guns, start, starts, starting, football, football season, start, starts, starting, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, driven to murder, sports nut, sports nuts, sports addict, sports addicts, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, drive insane, drives insane, driven insane, american football
"Aren't they killing you?"
Tags:fashion, styles, clothes, clothing, women's fashion, women's clothing, women's clothes, womenswear, footwear, shoe, shoes, high heels, heels, cement, cement shoes, uncomfortable, suffering, trend, trends, trendy, fad, fads, killing, hurting, painful, pain, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, gangster, gangsters, gang, gangs, mafia, mafioso, moll, molls, punishments, woman, women
"This is fun. Too bad about Frank."
Tags:picnic, picnics, picnicking, chalk outline, chalk outlines, outline, outlines, murder, murders, kill, kills, killing, killings, spoil, spoils, spoiled, spoilt, accident, accidents, accidental, nuisance, nuisances, inconvenient, inconvenience, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, distraction, distractions, distracting
"You simply must meet my husband."
Tags:grim reaper, angel of death, death, scythe, scythes, husband, husbands, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, mariticide, introduce, introduces, introduction, introductions, introducing, wife, wives, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murderess, murderesses, upper class, upper classes, murder mystery, murder mysteries
"Well, Hell is going to be so packed – I guess I'd just as soon get there early."
"Oh, and give the executive the right to rain down death from on high."
Tags:drone, drones, drone strike, drone strikes, unilateral authority, president, presidents, declare war, declares war, declaring war, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, executive branch, founding father, founding fathers, intention, intentions, american history, pacifist, pacifists, pacifism, constitution, unconstitutional, drone warfare, obama, barack, trump, donald trump, foreign policy, power, powers, separation of powers, checks and balances
"Have you seen my pistol, Honey-bun?"
"Survival of the fittest, pal - in the end, it's best for all concerned."
Tags:survival of the fittest, survive, survives, surviving, survival, evolution, evolve, evolves, evolving, darwin, charles darwin, herbert spencer, quote, quotes, justification, justifications, justify, justifies, justifying, kill, kills, killing, wrongdoing, supply side, economics, economy, trickle down economics, predator, predators, predatory, logic, prey, rich, class system, class systems, class, classes, socioeconomics, socioeconomic system, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists
"All in favor?"
Tags:cannonball, cannonball man, human cannonball, cannonballs, executive, executives, board, boards, death, killing, killed, pun, puns, visual pun, fire, firing, sack, sacking, fired, sacked, dismiss, discharge, make redundant, danger, dangers, cutthroat, corporate culture, dog eat dog, eject, shoot
Who Wants To Be Regis?
Tags:regis philbin, host, hosts, hosting, tv host, tv hosts, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, game show, game shows, game show host, game show hosts, hosting, arrest, arrests, arrested, final answer, catchphrase, catchphrases, murder, murders, murder trial, murder trials, murderer, murderers, murdering, kill, kills, killer, killing, capital punishment, death penalty