"Hey, sorry to call you guys this late on a weeknight, but I just happened to be in your basement."
"I'm going to be late, dear. It's total craziness here."
Tags:crazy, craziness, insane, insanity, therapist, therapists, therapy, shrink, shrinks, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, busy day, busy days, late, late night, late nights, work late, working late, works late, insult, insulting, insulted, faux pas, choice of words, poor choice of words, long day, long days, mental health, insensitive, insensitivity
"I did all my own stunts."
Tags:humpty, humpty dumpty, dumpty, egg, eggs, nursery rhymes, nursery rhyme, rhyme, rhymes, song, songs, fairy, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, stunt, stunts, cracked, cracks, injuries, injured, injury, injuring, cracks, stuntmen, stuntman, stunts, stunt, my own stunts, all my own stunts, talk, talk shows, talk show, talk-shows, talk-show, late night, late-night, children, children's
"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."
Tags:talk show, talk shows, interview, interviews, interviewing, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity interview, celebrity interviews, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, drug, prescription, prescriptions, medicine, medicines, big pharma, pill, pills, side effect, side effects, accomplishment, accomplishments, late night, late night talk show, late night talk shows, career, careers
"I never watched him at eleven-thirty-five and I didn't watch him at ten, and now, once again, I won't be watching him at eleven-thirty-five."
"What have you been up to?"
Tags:tall tale, tall tales, long story, long stories, tale, tales, story, stories, come home late, coming home late, wife, wives, scold, scolds, scolding, nag, nags, nagging, return home, returning home, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, police line, police lines, husband, husbands, late night, late nights, late, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality
"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."
"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."
Tags:overkill, over kill, overboard, desperate measures, macgyver, invention, contraption, inventions, contraptions, men, man, husband, husbands, reading, read, book worm, books, book lover, book lovers, bookish, sleep, sleeping, up all night, late night, late nights, couple, couples, argue, arguing, argument, arguments, light, lights, lights out, your fault, his and hers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, putting up with, headlamp, head lamp, headlamps, head lamps, tools, tool, diy, solutions, problem solving, problem solved, innovative, innovative solutions, flawless, flawless execution
"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."
Tags:broadcast, broadcasts, broadcasting, broadcaster, broadcasters, tv broadcaster, tv broadcasters, tv broadcasting, television broadcaster, television broadcasters, television broadcasting, bedtime, bedtimes, instruction, instructions, order, orders, patronise, patronising, patronize, patronizing, late night, late nights, staying up late
"You're a working dog, so be back early."
Tags:working animal, working animals, working dog, working dogs, late night, late nights, out late, sheepdog, sheepdogs, sheep dog, sheep dogs, shepherd, shepherds, parent, parents, parenting, child, kid, kids, worry, worries, worrying, weeknight, weeknights, go out, goes out, going out, stay out late, staying out late, overtired, tired, date, dates, dating, date night, date nights, teen, teens, teenager, teenage
"No point going to sleep now."
Tags:rooster, roosters, chicken, chickens, cockerel, cockerels, dawn, dawns, crack of dawn, late night, late nights, boy's night, boys night, boy's nights, boys nights, sleep, sleeping, night time, night times, night-time, night-times, rooster call, rooster calls, cockerel call, cockerel calls, gamer, gamers, gaming, video game, video games, computer game, computer games
"So I said to Cousteau, 'Look, pal, you're not the only frog in the sea.' But, seriously, Jerry . . ."
"That couple behind me seem happy enough. Laughing, bantering. Probably holding hands. Not a care in the world. I hate them. The waitress is cute. No eye contact however. And the coffee is cold. She hates me."
Tags:self-confidence, eat out, eats out, eating out, self-esteem, low self-esteem, private thought, private thoughts, thought, thoughts, idle thought, idle thoughts, stream of consciousness, conscious thought, conscious thoughts, dine alone, dines alone, dining out, eating out, late night, late nights, diner, diners, greasy spoon, greasy spoons
"The reason it's going to keep ﬂashing on and off is that we love you, and we want you to love us, too."
Tags:audience, audiences, viewer, viewers, fan, fans, tv, tvs, television, televisions, talk show, talk shows, late night, late night tv, late night television, talk show host, talk show hosts, host, hosts, producer, producers, cameraman, cameramen, lights, camera, action, love, lies, applause, director, directors, studio, studios
Our Summer Without Dave
Tags:late night, late night tv, summer, summers, season, tv, television, entertainment, late, tv show, tv shows, celebrity, celebrities, sleep, sleeping, hiatus, break, summer break, network, networks, change, changing, routine, sleep schedule, sleeping, sleepy, media, couple, couples, modern life, modern world, pop culture, popular, popular culture, married life, married, marriage
"They're just late-night talk shows, honey. It's not a real war."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, entertainment, late night, late night show, talk show, talk shows, tv, tvs, television, televisions, show, shows, tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows, comfort, comforting, consoling, war, wars, fight, fights, fighting, stress, stressed, anxious, anxiety
"Daylight come and me wan go home."
Tags:rooster, roosters, cockerel, cockerels, dawn chorus, morning, mornings, chicken, chickens, henhouse, hen house, hen house, poultry farm, poultry farms, poultry farming, chicken farm, chicken farms, chicken farming, hen, hens, night life, night-life, farmyard, farmyards, barnyard, barnyards, party animals, dawn, dawns, morning, mornings, late night
"Go back to bed or we'll make you watch Jay Leno."
Tags:talk show, talk shows, talk-show, talk-shows, jay leno, kid, kids, bedtime, bedtimes, bedtime ritual, bedtime rituals, parent, parenting, parents, parenthood, family life, family-life, punishments, discipline, disciplines, disciplining, late night, late nights, boring, tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows, tv program, tv programs, television program, television programs
"I know a lot of people will say, 'Oh, no—not another book about cats.'"
Tags:interview, interviews, guest, guests, special guests, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, host, hosts, tv, tvs, television, televisions, tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows, late night, cat, cats, kitty, kitties, pussycat, pussycats, feline, felines, talking cat, talking cats, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, author, authors, writer, writers, writing, literature, literary, literacy, read, reading, reader, readers
"Cut to commercial! For pity's sake, cut to commercial!"
Tags:late night, late night tv, late night talk show, late night talk shows, talk show, talk shows, commercial break, commercial breaks, celebrity interview, celebrity interviews, celebrity, celebrities, depressed, depression, hell, hellish, promotion, promote, promotes, promoting, talk show circuit, talk show circuits, bored, boring, frustrate, frustrates, frustrating, frustration
"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."
Tags:sleep deprivation, sleep deprived, sleep deprivations, sleeping problem, sleeping problems, shopping channel, shopping channels, sales resistance, sales strategy, sales strategies, sales pitch, sales pitches, advertisement, advertisements, ad, ads, late night, decision making, decision maker, decision makers, capability, capabilities, vulnerability, vulnerabilities
God uses the universe as a reading light.
Tags:god, almighty, creator, creators, divine, divinity, read, reads, reading, reader, readers, reading light, reading lights, late night, late nights, night owl, night owls, light, lights, let there be light, creation, genesis, divine creator, divine creators, divinity, theology, bookworm, bookworms, book worm, book worms, book group, book groups
"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."
Tags:late night, late night tv, summer, summers, season, tv, television, entertainment, late, tv show, tv shows, celebrity, celebrities, sleep, sleeping, hiatus, break, summer break, network, networks, network tv, network television, reality tv, reality television, rundown, run-down, urban, urban life, couch potato, lower class, class, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping, media, couple, couples, modern life, modern world, pop culture, popular, popular culture
"Can I call you back? I'm still recovering from a night of binge hiring."
Tags:binge, binges, bingeing, hire, hires, hiring, recruit, recruits, recruitment, new recruit, new recruits, late night, late nights, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, hangover, hangovers, hung over, bad decision, bad decisions, making bad decisions, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, manager, managers, managing
Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club