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"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."
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"I never watched him at eleven-thirty-five and I didn't watch him at ten, and now, once again, I won't be watching him at eleven-thirty-five."
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"So I said to Cousteau, 'Look, pal, you're not the only frog in the sea.' But, seriously, Jerry . . ."
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"When 'Hey Diddle Diddle' came along, we jumped at the chance to work together."
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"Cut to commercial! For pity's sake, cut to commercial!"
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"And now let's welcome, for the first and last time . . ."
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Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club
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"Dump Leno and get Perot."
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Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...
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"So I hear you did your own stunts in this movie."
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"I don't even know when late night begins anymore."
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"How's life changed since you went viral?"
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