Lawyer Cartoons

"I think it is most admirable," said Alice, "that you gave up a thriving law practice to be with this lovely child."

"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."

"Innocence is no excuse."

"Who's up for archery waivers?"

"Me? I'm just one of those shadowy figures who inhabit the mysterious twilight world where the medical and legal professions meet."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"The Court finds itself on the horns of a dilemma. On the one hand, wiretap evidence is inadmissible, and on the other hand I'm dying to hear it."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Let's be reasonable. Just approve my client, and we'll all be spared a lot of nasty litigation."

"I can't decide whether to specialize in criminal law or legal punditry."

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be today. But someday - someday - you guys will be happy that you've taken along a lawyer."

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"I see. And precisely what methods did you use to determine that my client was a 'bad boy'?"

"You can't plead cute."

"Please remind your mom and dad that its not a parent-teacher-attorney conference."

"No, I don't think your decisions are too Draconian. Do you think my decisions are too Draconian?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"If you want justice, it's two hundred dollars an hour. Obstruction of justice runs a bit more."

"I'll work on the appeal. You try to escape."

"What are you - some kind of justice freak?"

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. After that, law school was pretty much a given."

"This firm has a long history of bringing gravitas to frivolous lawsuits."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"There. Now it's all on paper. Feel better?"