"If you laugh at all of God's jokes, he's never going to learn what's funny."
My First Boat
Tags:capsize, capsizes, capsizing, pilot, pilots, new boat, boats, boat, boats, ship, ships, seafarer, seafarers, seafaring, yacht, yachts, personal yacht, personal yachts, newbie, newbies, new, learn, learns, learning, incompetent, incompetence, safety, sign, signs, excuse, excuses, skill, skills, skill level, skill levels, learn, learns, learning
"Those who do not learn from the future are destined to make mistakes in it."
Tags:future, learn, learns, learning, learn from the past, those who do not learn from history, learning from history, history, history major, history majors, futurist, futurists, futurism, prediction, predictions, predict, predicting, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, lesson, lessons, life lesson, life lessons, professor, professors
"We'll start out by speaking in simple declarative sentences."
Tags:language, languages, linguistic, linguistics, education, educate, educating, teach, teaching, history, historic, historical, learn, learning, speak, speaking, oral history, stone age, stone ages, iron age, iron ages, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo erectus, homo sapien, homo sapiens, caveman, cavemen, cave man, cave men, cave-man, cave-men, prehistory, prehistoric, cave, caves, declarative, simple, simplicity, complicate, complicated, complex, progress, progression, progressions, progressive
"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, learning, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, raising kids, raising children, parent-teacher interview, parent-teacher interviews, parent-teacher conference, parent-teacher conferences, parent-teacher meeting, parent-teacher meetings, development, childhood, intelligence, iq, i.q., intelligence quotient, score, scores, chart, charts, normal, average, standardised testing, standardized testing, modern education, modern life
"One question: If this is the Information Age, how come nobody knows anything?"
"Big day, Haskins. The training wheels come off.",
"First of all, forget everything you learned in obedience school."
"You see, darling, he plays a Steinway, just like you."
Tags:steinway piano, piano, famous, famous piano, pianist, pianists, music, musician, musicians, concert, concerts, audience, audiences, mother, mothers, mothering, mothered, kid, kids, child, childhood, instrument, instruments, learn, learning, practice, practising, encourage, encouraging, encouraged, inspire, inspired, inspiration, inspirations, inspirational, encouragement, just like you
"Some hacker from an obscure university in China ate my homework."
Tags:excuse, excuses, reason, reasons, reasoning, making excuses, teacher, teachers, teaching, student, students, dog ate my homework, homework, schoolwork, classwork, assignment, assignments, kid, kids, child, children, hacker, hackers, computer hacker, internet hackers, school, schoolchildren, elementary, primary, secondary, education, educating, educate, learn, learning
"The message here is 'Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!'"
Tags:desert, deserts, skeleton, skeletons, hydrate, hydrates, hydration, gazelle, gazelles, thirst, thirsts, thirsty, warning, warnings, warn, warns, message, messages, warning sign, warning signs, lost, lesson, lessons, learning a lesson, learns a lesson, starve, starves, starving, learn, learns, learning, parent, parents, parenting
"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."
Tags:fetch, fetches, fetching, dog trick, dog tricks, trick, tricks, dog, dogs, trainer, trainers, training, philosophy, philosophy teacher, philosophy teachers, higher education, higher learning, learn, learns, learning, teach, teaches, teaching, high standards, unrealistic, goal, goals, confessional, confessionals, bar, bars, pub, pubs, barkeeper, barkeepers, barkeeping
"It's interesting -- with each conviction I learn a little more about myself."
Tags:prison, prisons, jail, jails, jail, guardhouse, prisoner, jailbird, repeat offender, offender, cliche, cliches, life journey, life, criminal, punishing, experience, education, learning, self exploration, introspection, reflect, reflecting, introspective, self-discovery, self-help, reevaluate, reevaluating
"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, toddler, toddlers, daughter, daughters, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, food, food shopping, food store, food stores, grocery, groceries, grocery shopping, grocery store, grocery stores, supermarket, supermarkets, shopping, shopper, shoppers, shopping bags, mommy's little helper, mummy's little helper, helper, helpers, helping, life lesson, life lessons, bread, baguette, promise, promises, careful, learning
"Does it say I'm a Wittgenstein scholar?"
Tags:wittgenstein, learn, learned, learning, knowledge, knowledgeable, intelligent, intelligence, fashion, fashions, communicate, communication, ludwig, ludwig wittgenstein, vienna circle, philosophy, philosophical, scholar, scholarly, trend, trends, shop, shopping, shops, dressing, dress, consumerism, education, educate, philosopher, analytic, positivism, logic, logics, persona, public image
"Wow! The Ukraine, Moldavia, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Byelorussia, Tadzhikistan, Kirgizia, Turkmenistan..."
"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"
Tags:teaching to the the test, no child left behind, teacher, teachers, teaching, standardized test, standardized tests, standardized testing, maze, lab rat, lab rats, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, lab assistant, lab assistants, lab assistance, mice, mouse, rat, rats, educator, educators, professor, professors, knowledge, learn, learns, learning, learning difficulty, learning difficulties, scientist, scientists
"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."
Tags:kid, kids, children, child, elementary, school, schools, education, educated, educate, teacher, teachers, teaching, teach, learn, learner, learners, learning, book report, book reports, presentation, presentations, primary, class, classes, toy, toys, stuffed animal, stuffed animals, plush toy, plush toys, review, toy reviews, book, books, read, reading, reader, readers
"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."
Tags:child, children, baby, babies, infant, infants, newborn, newborns, new baby, new babies, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, new parents, family, families, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, new mothers, new mom, new moms, new mum, new mums, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, new dad, new dads, new father, new fathers, raising a child, raising children, proud parent, proud parents, life lessons, learn, learning, teach, teaching, language, languages, fluent, fluency, bilingual, law, legalese, legal, lawyer, lawyers, career, careers, job, jobs, profession, professions, dream, dreams, ambition, ambitions, future career, future lawyer, maturity, grow up, growing up, develop, development
A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.
Tags:kitchen, kitchens, restaurant, restaurants, cook, cooks, cooking, food preparation, chef, chefs, culinary arts, culinary, culinary school, cooking school, chef school, education, teaching, learning, teacher, teachers, student, students, school, schools, schooling, flipping, pancake, pancakes, turning over, spatula, spatulas, pointing, demonstrating
"Miss Peterson, may I go home? I can't assimilate any more data today."
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, classroom, classrooms, student, students, kid, kids, child, children, learning, elementary school, primary school, modern education, modern life, modern children, technology, computer, computers, data, assimilation of data, assimilate data, data assimilation, too much information, word play, wordplay, jargon
"We're done with Baby Einstein. We're on to Baby Bruckheimer."
Tags:baby, babies, toddler, toddlers, kid, kids, child, children, yuppies, yuppie, education, educational tv, educational television, television, tv, show, shows, tv shows, tv show, tv program, tv programs, tv programme, tv programmes, big screen, wide screen, speakers, parents, parent, dad, dads, entertainment, entertainment system, son, sons, family, families, learn, learning, action, film, films, movie, movies, detective show, investigate show, television series, tv series, bad parenting, producer, producers
"You see? Once more, Wile E. Coyote is restored swiftly and miraculously to health. His potential trauma has been trivialized, and we are yet again amused."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., cartoons, animation, animations, famous character, famous characters, fictional character, fictional characters, health, miracle, miracles, trauma, mental health, funny, humour, humor, entertainment, education, educating, learning, teaching, psychobabble, violent, violence, desensitized, desensitised, desensitization, desensitisation, analysis, analyses, analysing, analyzing, modern life
The Nervous Gourmet:Low-Risk Chicken
Tags:risk averse, risk, risky, risk aversion, anxious, anxiety, paranoia, paranoid, cooking, cookery, cookery classes, recipe, recipes, cook, chef, chefs, cooks, absurd, spoof, spoofs, parody, parodies, parodied, worry, worrisome, worry wart, worried, chicken, chickens, poultry, nervous, nervousness, nerve, unnerved, woman, women, house wife, housewife, housewives, learn to cook, learning, learn, modern, modern life
"If you've finished reading the tablets, please pass them back to the front."
Tags:bible, bibles, the bible, biblical, moses, ten commandments, commandment, ten commandment, 10 commandments, 10, religion, religious, crowd, crowds, read, reading, pass it back, pass it along, pass along, pass it on, pass on, read, reading, stone tablet, tablet, stone tablets, teacher, teaching, teachers, school, schools, learn, learning, meeting, meetings