Legal Counsel Cartoons

"Innocence is no excuse."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"No, I don't think your decisions are too Draconian. Do you think my decisions are too Draconian?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

"Learned counsel should use shorter words. Learned counsel is forgetting that this Court was not an 'A' student."

"Are you telling me that just because something is against the law, that makes it illegal?"

Many walks past "Beware of our lawyer".

King Arthur And The Attorneys Of The Round Table

"That was fun. What time does the next trial of the century start?"

"Guilty of flaunting it without having it. Sixty days."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Let me tell you, folks—I've been around long enough to develop an instinct for these things, and my client is innocent or I'm very much mistaken."

Professional Courtesy:"Life in prison, but as you're an attorney, sentence suspended."

"I didn't realize, Your Honor. I assumed the law here was the same as in New Jersey. As you may know, dog eat dog is permissible there."

"You'll need to find another attorney. I'm going to prison."

"It really wasn't my fault, Your Honor. I was led to believe I was above the law."

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

"I'll have the Chicken Roberto, on the advice of counsel."

"Not much in the way of hard assets, I'm afraid, but he did leave some highly desirable organs."

"Could my client be innocent? Probably not. My point is it's interesting to think about."

"I sentence you to five years in prison. For your information, that's fifteen thousand billable hours."

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."