"We're encouraging people to become involved in their own rescue."
"Under new business: Peterson, at Hammond Point Beach, reports that a person in the water is flailing about and calling for help. Peterson wants to know what action, if any, he should take."
Tags:rescue, rescuing, initiative, meeting, meetings, inefficient, inefficiency, life guard, life-guard, lifeguards, discuss, discussing, discussion, business, businesses, boardroom, boardrooms, problem, problems, decision, decisions, indecisive, agenda, agendas, bureaucracy, bureaucratic, bureaucracy, pointless, initiatives
"Aren't you freezing?"
Tags:winter, wintertime, frozen lake, frozen lakes, frozen sea, freezing, chilly, cold, frozen over, ice, lifeguard, lifeguards, coastguard, coastguards, drown, drowning, oblivious, obliviousness, fallen in the water, falling in the water, falling through the ice, off season, off-season, beach, beaches, swim, swimming, swimming in the sea, swimmer, swimmer, bathe, bathing
Shrink's Summer Job
Tags:shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, problems, problem, coping, cope, addition, addictions, mental illness, mental health, stress, stressed, summer, summer job, summer jobs, beach, beaches, lifeguard, lifeguards, drown, drowning, drowned, lifesaver, lifesavers, swim, swimming, swimmer, swimmers
Reassigned pending an investigation.
Lifeguard for Art Sellers
"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"
"Sharks! Hundreds of 'em! Flying sharks! Everyone out of the water! They're converging on the future!"
Bay-Leaf Watch'You, in the dark-green three-piece suit, eating the bouillabaisse! You've got one on your spoon! Repeat—you've got one on your spoon!'
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, service, customer service, bay leaf, bay leaves, spice, spices, herb, herbs, lifeguard, lifeguards, lifeguarding, guarding, watch, watching, warning, warnings, soup, safety, food safety, water safety, protection, security, television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, famous, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, customer, customers, patron, patrons, helpful, pun, puns, wordplay, word play
"Visualize yourself not dying and then be that reality."
Tags:lifeguard, lifeguards, life guard, life guards, drown, drowning, shark, sharks, shark attack, shark attacks, victim, victims, swim, swimmer, swimmers, swimming, lazy, useless, unhelpful, life coach, life coaches, life coaching, coach, coaches, coaching, advise, adviser, adviser, advising, advice, counsellor, counselling, counsellors, visualise, visualize, imagine, imagination, reality, death, dying, beach, beaches, bad advice, useless advice
Tags:attorney, attorneys, court of law, courtroom, courtroom, objections, objections, legal objection, life guard, life guards, beach holiday, beach holidays, beach vacation, beach vacations, lawyer, lawyers, prosecutor, prosecutors, lifeguard, lifeguards, swimmer, swimmers, swimming, attorney at law
"I can't swim! Would ten dollars help?"
"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."
Tags:diving, diver, divers, diving board, diving boards, swimming, swimmer, swimmers, swimming pool, swimming pools, public pool, public pools, life guard, life guards, outdoor pool, outdoor pools, unsafe, safety, danger, dangerous, brave, bravery, lifeguard, lifeguards, pool guard, pool guards, unreliable, unreliability, distracted, disinterested, summer, summer time, summer sport, summertime, summer sports
A lifeguard whale underwater fails to notice that a whale has beached himself on a nearby beach.
"Of course, it doesn't pay as much as during the season."
Tags:lifeguard, life guard, lifeguards, life guards, life guarding, lifeguarding, off-season, seasonal, duty, on-duty, beach, beaches, sea, seaside, seashore, seashores, pay, salary, salaries, money, winter, snow, snowing, freezing, cold, snowstorm, snowstorms, blizzard, blizzards, security, prevention, rescue, rescuing, season, seasons, summer job, summer jobs, seasonal job, seasonal jobs
God throwing a lifebelt.
Tags:heaven, god, gods, rescue, rescues, lifebelt, lifebelts, life guard, life guards, lifeguard, lifeguards, pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, sea rescue, sea rescues, minimum effort, no effort spared
"Ca you describe the shark?"
Tags:life guard, life guards, shark, sharks, lifeguard, lifeguards, priorities, bad priorities, wrong priorities, shark attack, shark attacks, incompetence, incompetence, drowning, coast guard, coast guards, coastguard, coastguards, police investigation, police investigations, red tape, record keeping, shark species
"I always wanted to be an accountant. But I'll probably just wind up giving swimming lessons."
"He's the lifeguard during high tide."
"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."
Tags:vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, beach, beaches, coast, coastal, sand, sandy, leave, annual leave, summer, summery, summers, summer people, travels, travelled, travelling, summer house, time share, time-share, time shares, timeshares, summer home, summer homes, summer houses, tourists, tourist trap, lifeguard, lifeguards, rule, rules, book, books, bookish, book lover, book lovers, dust jacket, dust-jacket, play on words, word play, word-play
"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, modern life, modern family, modern families, modern parent, modern parents, modern parenting, modern parenthood, modern motherhood, overprotective, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, lifeguard, lifeguards, pool, pools, water safety, pool safety, kiddie pool, kiddie pools, wading pool, wading pools, protect, protective, protection, safety, swimming, swimmer, swimmers
"Help! I haven't saved enough for retirement!"