"This is the worst witness-protection program I've ever been in."
Tags:prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, prison cell, prison cells, locked up, jail, jails, witness protection, witness protection scheme, witness protection schemes, in hiding, hide, hiding, disguise, disguises, costume, costumes, bad disguise, bad disguises, witness-protection, witness relocation, witness relocation, defendant, defendants, justice system, the justice system
"My client is completely rehabilitated, Your Honor, in a grabass sort of way."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, attorney, attorneys, bending the truth, stretching the truth, unconvincing, rehabilitate, rehabilitated, rehabilitation, harassment, creep, creeps, creepy, crimes, criminal, criminals, prison, prisons, jail, jails, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, cellmate, cellmates, locked up, locked away
"How come you never want to spend time with my friends during our conjugal visits?"
Tags:prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, crimes, criminal, criminals, jail, jails, conjugal visit, conjugal visits, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, jailbird, jailbirds, locked up, intimate, intimacy, buzz kill
Bunk Bed Prisoners
"I was almost like Robin Hood. I took from the rich, but then I kept it."
"Kennel changes a dog, Muffin."
Tags:dog, dogs, pet dog, pet dogs, kennel, kennels, the kennels, locked up, prison, prisons, jail, jails, doing time, done time, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminals, bad dog, bad dogs, prison tattoo, prison tattoos, mohawk, mohawks, bad habit, bad habits, bad influence, bad influence, life choice, life choices, smoking, smoker, smokers
"Come and get it! Ha, ha- just kidding."
"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, client, clients, famous, defendant, defendants, defence, defense, high hopes, disappointed, disappointment, jail, jail, prison, prisons, incarceration, imprisoned, locked up, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, comic, comics, comic book, comic books, cartoons
Slammer on the Spot
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, police man, police men, cop, cops, copper, coppers, crimes, misdemeanour, misdemeanours, criminal, criminals, prison, prisons, slammer, the slammer, gaol, gaols, jail, jails, lock-up, lock-ups, lock up, lock up, street crime, street crimes, minor crime, minor crimes, arrest, arrested, locked up, detention, detained, incarceration, incarcerated, convenient, convenience, ea
"Well! According to my PDA, I've got the rest of the day free!"
Tags:pda, free time, schedule, schedules, crimes, criminal, criminals, prison, prisons, jail, jails, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, cellmate, cellmates, locked up, locked away, palmtop computer, computer, computers, tablet, tablets, planner, planners, organiser, organisers, organizer, organizers
"You said the file was for your nails."
"There goes our attorney, headed for Florida."
Tags:bird, birds, pet, pets, pet bird, pet birds, birdcage, birdcages, bird cage, bird cages, migrate, migration, migrations, migrating, fly south, flying south, birds flying south, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, florida, winter, winters, wintertime, wintertimes, prison, prisons, prisoners, crimes, criminal, criminals, locked up, abandon, abandoned, jail, jails, in jail, abandonment, unsupported, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphic
"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."
Tags:thief, thieves, theft, robber, robbers, robbery, burglar, burglar, burglary, crimes, criminal, criminals, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, in prison, in jail, in gaol, gaol, jail, jails, jail time, locked up, doing time, fathers and sons, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, childhood, upbringing,
"The worst part is the horizontal stripes."
Tags:prison, prisons, prisoners, prisoner, prison cell, prisons cells, locked up, prison jumpsuit, prison jumpsuits, prison uniform, prison uniforms, jumpsuit, jumpsuits, horizontal stripe, horizontal stripes, fashions, trend, trends, following trends, vertical stripes, slim, slimming, overweight, obese, obesity, losing weight, jail, jails, in jails, jail cell, jail cells, vain, vanity, priorities, priority, wrong priorities, bad priorities
"DNA proves I was unjustly convicted. However, I'm guilty of seven other crimes."
Exercised my stock options but am unable to access my wealth for another 6 months
Tags:stock market, stock, stocks, wealth, wealthy, stock broker, stock brokers, rich people, beggar, beggars, panhandler, panhandling, panhandle, lock-up, lock up, lock in, lock-in, lock out, lock-out, locked, locked in, locked out, locked up, share, shareholders, shareholder, locked market, poverty, initial public offering, ipo, profit, profits, investor, investors, investment, investments
"I think what I miss most is robbing people."
Add Your Own Caption Week #218
Tags:prison, prisons, jail, jails, in jail, in prison, locked up, behind bars, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminals, prison cell, prison cells, prison life, bath, baths, bathtub, bathtubs, bubble bath, bubble baths, water bill, water bills, the water bill, bunk bed, bunk beds, bunk, bunks, prison bunk, prison bunks
"I don't get out much—I'm usually locked in a cellar."
"Could you not do that here?"
"You can have this on cheap. He's a little stir-crazy."
Tags:bird, birds, pet bird, pet birds, caged bird, caged birds, parrot, parrots, cockatoo, cockatoos, bargain, bargains, discount, discounts, sale, sales, on sale, crazy bird, going mad, going crazy, stir crazy, stir-crazy, expression, expressions, chronophobia, cage, cages, locked up, imprisoned, imprisonment, animal rights
"Whatever you do, give the bellboy a good tip."
Tags:hotel, hotels, bellboy, bellboys, door man, door men, doorman, doormen, prison, prisons, jail, jails, prisoner, prisoners, locked up, locked-up, tip, tips, tipping, gratuity, gratuities, imprisoned, imprisonment, warn, warning, warnings, hotel guest, hotel guests, hotel attendant, hotel attendants, hotel staff, customer service
"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."
Tags:prison, prisoner, prisons, prisoners, crimes, criminal, criminals, prison guard, prison guards, prison officer, prison officers, jail, jails, jail guard, jail guards, cell, cells, crime rate, crime-rate, crime rates, crime-rates, elimination, trial and error, trial and elimination, accused, the accused, unlawfully accused, unlawful accusation, justice system, unjust, unfair, unfairness, guilt, guilty, innocent, innocence, locked up, in prison, in jail, prison cell, prison cells
"I'm going to jail Hargraves. You can let go of my coat tails."