"No cause for alarm, folks. I'm Morey Kranshaw, from down the block, and I'm having an out-of-body experience."
Tags:neighbour, neighbours, neighbor, neighbors, bad neighbour, bad neighbours, bad neighbor, bad neighbors, intrude, intruding, intrusion, intrusions, surprise, surprises, unexpected, out of body experience, out of body experiences, sleepwalk, sleepwalking, sleepwalker, sleepwalkers, sleep walk, sleep walking, sleep walker, sleep walkers, astral projection, astral projections, excuse, excuses, making excuses, obe, obes, autoscopy, autoscopies, doppelganger, doppelgangerd, pass the blame, passing the blame, pass the buck, passing the buck
"If it weren't for you, I would have conquered the world by now."
"I know, and it's not just me- my whole family has been smug for hundreds of years."
"Sorry, you're overqualified."
Tags:snail, snails, rejection, rejections, job application, job applications, job interview, job interviews, overqualified, over qualification, over-qualification, overqualification, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, excuse, excuses, making excuses, mollusc, molluscs, snail drawing, snail drawings
"I'm sorry, but a singularity inside the apartment is hardly the co-op's responsibility."
Tags:singularity, singularities, insurance, insurer, insurers, insurance company, insurance companies, landlord, landlords, wormhole, wormholes, black hole, black holes, anomaly, anomalies, condo, condos, co-op, co-ops, co-operative, co-operatives, responsibility, taking responsibility, excuse, excuses, making excuses
"Some hacker from an obscure university in China ate my homework."
Tags:excuse, excuses, reason, reasons, reasoning, making excuses, teacher, teachers, teaching, student, students, dog ate my homework, homework, schoolwork, classwork, assignment, assignments, kid, kids, child, children, hacker, hackers, computer hacker, internet hackers, school, schoolchildren, elementary, primary, secondary, education, educating, educate, learn, learning
"It's not a nap if I'm sitting at my desk."
"I we meet in the woods and anything happens, remember it's just hunting."
"The parking is terrible, so we decided to never do anything again."
"You can't judge my parenting skills by what you see in the lobby."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, young kids, young children, toddler, toddlers, infant, infants, terrible twos, terrible 2s, parenting skills, tantrum, tantrums, immature, immaturity, lobby, lobbies, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses
"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."
Tags:frequent flier, frequent fliers, frequent flier miles, frequent-flier miles, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, failed writer, failed writers, sob story, sob stories, bad writer, bad writers, giving up, give up, show off, show offs, show-off, show-offs, showing off, flirt, flirts, bad date, bad dates, paris
"And today in Washington a top Administration apologist issued an apology."
Tags:spin, political spin, spin doctor, spin doctors, politician, politicians, u turn, u-turns, apologies, apologising, apologise, excuse, excuses, making excuses, apologist, apologists, administration apologist, administration apologists, modern life, modern times, modern politics, male pale stale, dishonest, dishonesty, party line, the party line, in denial
"They're trying to figure out whether it's a chemical thing or I'm just a crybaby."
"Due to an earlier incident, this train is being held in the station."
Tags:train, trains, public transport, delay, delays, delayed train, delayed trains, cancellation, cancellations, train cancellation, train cancellations, excuse, excuses, making excuses, good excuse, good excuses, unexplained delay, unexplained delays, understatement, understatements, shot delay, short delays, gravity, accident, accidents, train accident, train accidents
"Oh, that wasn't me talking. It was the alcohol talking."
"This just in! The fault is not in ourselves, but in our stars."
Tags:caesar, julius caesar, et tu brutus, shakespeare, the fault is not in our stars, special bulletin, special bulletins, news bulletin, news bulletins, off the hook, excuse, excuses, making excuses, pass the blame, passing the blame, pass the buck, passing the buck, modern life, modern time, modern attitudes, justify, justification, justifying, justifications
"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"
Tags:love, in love, romance, i love you, ily, slang, misinterpretation, misinterpretations, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups
"You just missed him. He's gone home."
Tags:snail, snails, snail shell, snail shells, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, business meeting, business meetings, gone home, secretary, secretaries, too late, hide, hiding, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, defence mechanism, defence mechanisms
"Well, I'm sort of between quests at the moment."
"Oh, just cellaring. You?"
"The role you're auditioning for is a struggling actress who's always boring people with how this one or that one got the part."
Tags:acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, audition, auditions, cliche, cliches, struggling actor, struggling actors, struggling actress, struggling actresses, excuse, excuses, making excuses, talent, untalented, gender issues, type cast, type-cast, stereotype, stereotypes, insult, insults, playing yourself
"If I've accomplished little, it's because I have giants standing on my shoulders."
Tags:standing on the shoulders of giants, expression, expressions, saying, sayings, idiom, idioms, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, life choices, career choices, accomplishments, achievement, achievements, accomplishment, failure, failures, failing, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs
"You'll have to excuse me- I'm myself today."
"I would have gotten that report to you sooner, but I wasn't held enough as a child."
Tags:upbringing, neglect, neglected, childhood, kid, kids, child, lazy, laziness, procrastination, procrastinating, excuse, excuses, making excuses, bad excuse, bad excuse, office work, office worker, office workers, report, reports, dodge, dodging, slack, slacker, slackers, child neglect, childhood neglects, early development, childhood development, businessman, businessmen, business person, business people, business man, business men, businessperson
"I ran out of ice."
Tags:shaved ice, ice shave, hawaiian shaved ice, street food, street vendor, street vendors, food cart, food carts, food stand, food stands, mice, mouse, run out of ice, running out of ice, caterer, caterers, catering, excuse, excuses, making excuses, incompetent, incompetence, last minute, catering and hospitality, catering industry