Married Life Cartoons

"General, your night vision goggles keep hitting my forehead."

"Goodbye, Kevin. I could look the other way with the boozing and the skirt-chasing, but I did not sign up for bicycle clothes."

"Don't even think about it, buster!"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"Did you do that to be hurtful?"

"Well, if you were Gergen what would you tell McLarty to tell Clinton to tell Christopher to do?"

"I'm doing some reorganizing - are there any of your possessions that you want to keep?"

"We're planning a very long shelf life together."

"What rhymes with 'failed marriage'?"

"Companionable! Tonto was companionable!"

"It's too late, Roger - they've seen us."

"With a real live woman right here, why would you turn to the Internet for an argument?"

Effective Catcalls

Mrs. Coffee

"Melanie, this is my husband, Greg, and Greg's jacket from a previous marriage."

"Look, I can't promise I'll change, but I can promise I'll pretend to change."

"I'll never forget where I'm telling wife I was that day."

Woman in prison's visitation room, screaming at prisoner who is reading a newspaper

Bad Housekeeping: The Magazine For Women Who Couldn't Care Less

"Ted Burton! How are you? How's my ex-wife? My kids? My dog?"

"I'm not trying to change you—I'm trying to enhance you."

"It may surprise you to know that, contrary to your experience, you're actually very happily married."

"We are so in synch. I was just about to ask you for a divorce."

"You're the Maharaja of Chitchat!"