Mate Cartoons

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."

"So I like rutting. So sue me."

"If I have to ask permission for every bite, dearest, we'll be mating all day."

"I heard they mate for life."

A man in an armchair watches TV beside a fish in a fishbowl who is also sitting in an armchair.

"This place would be so bucolic without you."

"Oh, no, it's that guy we meet so often we think we know him."

"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."

Friendship

Co-pilot smirks at paper airplane stuck in the hair of the pilot

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Dick, would you be the keynote speaker at my funeral?"

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

"Let's focus on the case before you start thinking about befriending a guard."

"I would share my cookies, but I'm afraid I'll set up a cycle of dependency."

"Mate with you? I was just going to use you as a Q-tip."

"It would appear that the sequinned youngster is preparing to challenge the authority of the silver-backed alpha male."

"May I speak to the kid of the house?"

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Instead of mating for life, why can't we just be a flock with benefits?"

Mate Mart

"After all these years together, the mating is still reasonably good."

"We have what you young people might call an old-fashioned marriage—we are not best friends."

"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."