Medical Cartoons

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

"I'll be performing the operation, and this is the anesthesiologist."

"Cosmetic dentistry changed my life."

"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."

"Me? I'm just one of those shadowy figures who inhabit the mysterious twilight world where the medical and legal professions meet."

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

"Please, honey, I'm with a patient, and I've asked you not to call me on this line."

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

"Uh-oh, your coverage doesn't seem to include illness."

"Well, Bob, it looks like a paper cut, but just to be sure let's do lots of tests."

"There will be a bit of a wait while we figure out a market solution to your problem."

"This patient has a rare form of medical insurance."

"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"

"Well, yes, it's a routine procedure - if you routinely have someone slice open your body with sharp instruments and then fiddle with your insides."

"You should just feel a tiny prick, and then a lifetime of morphine addiction."

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

A woman on a beach boardwalk looks shocked as a topless man walks past her with a back tattoo that reads "I got hepatitis at Randy's Tattoo Parlor."

"I'm allergic to the sun."

"All the body parts were locally sourced."

"Wow! You need professional help."