"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."
"This is a second opinion. At first, I thought you had something else."
"If I knew where I'd lost the sponge, it wouldn't be lost, now, would it?"
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hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, operation, operations, operating, o.r., o.r.s, or, ors, operating room, operating rooms, operation room, operation rooms, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, lost, sponge, sponges, problem, problems, complication, complications, mistake, mistakes, malpractice, medical malpractice"Why carry malpractice insurance if you don't malpractice once in a while?"
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doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., gp, gps, g.p.s, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, hospital, hospitals, malpractice, medical malpractice, insured, insurance, insurance policy, insurance policies, malpractice insurance, hippocratic oath, do no harm, rebel, rebels, irresponsible, irresponsibility"Hey, I've operated on this guy before—there are my initials."
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operation, operations, operating, operating room, operating rooms, medical procedure, medical procedures, sign, signs, signing, signature, signatures, autograph, autographs, autographing, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawsuit, lawsuits, calling card, calling cards, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, uncaring, hospital, hospitals, hospitalized"Ah, the lovely widow!"
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widow, widows, intensive care, intensive cares, intensive care unit, intensive care units, bedside manner, bedside manners, bad news, doctor, doctors, medical malpractice, waiting room, waiting rooms, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, patient care, patient-care, unprofessional, unprofessional manner"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."
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secretary, secretaries, receptionist, receptionists, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawsuit, lawsuits, litigation, law, laws, legal, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, conversation, conversations, away, absent, unavailable, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, questionable, bad doctor, bad doctors, business"Shows you how much I know."
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expert, experts, expertise, area of expertise, areas of expertise, die, dies, dying, patient, patients, malpractice, medical malpractice, malpractice suit, malpractice suits, lawsuit, lawsuits, wrongful death, teach, teaches, teaching, teacher, teachers, med student, med students, medical student, medical students, idiot, idiots, incompetent, incompetence, self-effacing, accident, accidents, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, surgeon, surgeons"Nowadays, Mr. Lambert, we practice preventive medicine. In laymen's terms, this means I don't do a damn thing until I talk to my lawyer."
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hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, treatment, treatments, treating, preventative medicine, preventative healthcare, examination, examinations, exam, exams, broken arm, broken bone, broken bones, laymen, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, litigation, litigious, lawsuit, lawsuits, legal advice, modern life"Your infection may be antibiotic-resistant, but let's see how it responds to intensive litigation."
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hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, prescription, prescriptions, pill, pills, antibiotics, antibiotic, antibiotic-resistant, antibiotic resistance, intensive, litigation, lawsuit, lawsuits, suing, legal system, law, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, challenge, challenges, malpractice, medical malpractice"It's not our policy to disclose details of a future operation."
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physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor office, hospital, hospitals, health-care, healthcare, health care, diagnose, diagnosis, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, surgeries, bedside manner, bedside manners, consult, medical consult, malpractice, medical malpractice, policy, policies, prediction, predictions, indemnify, indemnification, national healthSurgical Ward- Please Replace Divots
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surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, operating room, operating rooms, surgical ward, surgical wards, operating theatre, operating theatre, operating theater, operating theaters, golf, golfer, golfers, golfing, divot, divots, golf divot, golf divots, hospital, hospitals, hippocratic oath, malpractice, medical malpractice"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"
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hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, operation, operations, operating, o.r., o.r.s, or, ors, operating room, operating rooms, operation room, operation rooms, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, smoking, smoke, smoker, smokers, cigar, ash, ashes, ashtray, ashtrays, bad habit, bad habits, unhealthy, health, dangerous, risky, medical malpractice, malpractice, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, nicotine, tobacco"It's a good thing you're here. I just punctured your eardrum."
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eardrum, eardrums, medical malpractice, medical malpractices, ear drum, ear drums, ear-drum, ear-drums, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, physical, physicals, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, patient, patients, punctured eardrum, punctured eardrums, auriscope, auriscopes, otoscope, otoscopes"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."
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plastic surgery, plastic surgeon, plastic surgeons, cosmetic surgery, cosmetic surgeon, cosmetic surgeons, facial, facials, face lift, face lifts, filler, dermal filler, wrinkles, beauty, beauty standards, laughs, laughing, laughter, laugh lines, malpractice, medical malpractice, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, gossip, gossiping, girl talk, woman, women"Whoa – way too much information."
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doctor, doctors, gp, general practitioner, doctors surgery, gp surgery, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, medical information, information, overshare, oversharing, revealing, disclosing, personal information, private information, whoa, shock, disgust, checkup, physical examination, medical examination, examination, examination, physical examinations, medical examinations, bedside manner, medical malpractice, unprofessional"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"
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drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, prescription, prescriptions, pill, pills, medical, health care, healthcare, health, reaction, reactions, adverse reaction, adverse reactions, adverse effect, adverse effects, side effect, side effects, bad reaction, bad reactions, call, calls, calling, doctor, doctors, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, lawsuit, lawsuits, suing, litigation, malpractice, medical malpractice, forget, modern life"We'll be performing the operation using original instruments."
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hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, bedridden, performing, operating, medical instrument, medical instruments, innovation, innovations, innovative, creative, experiment, experiments, experimental, original instrument, original instruments, malpractice, medical malpractice, back to the past, past, history, historical, medical procedure, medical procedures, original"We did the best we could, but I was doing drugs during most of medical school."
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medical school, unprofessional, professional manner, surgeon, surgeons, emergency surgery, operating theatre, operating theater, medical student, medical students, medical training, malpractice, medical malpractice, drug, substance abuse, student lifestyle, hospital, hospitals, patient care, patient-care, misguided youth"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."
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hippocratic oath, the hippicratic oath, oath, oaths, malpractice, medical malpractice, go nuts, going nuts, go crazy, going crazy, going mad, promise, promises, doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., gp, gps, g.p.s, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, surgeon, surgeons, high pressure, high pressure job, high pressure jobs"I want you to lie as still as possible while Lyle and I take our lunch break."
"If the treatment hasn't helped, Mrs. Jensen, I think the best thing you can possibly do is sue me. Litigation is often very therapeutic."
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hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, treatment, treatments, treating, examination, examinations, exam, exams, sick, sickness, ill, illness, therapy, therapeutic, psychology, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, sue, suing, litigation, litigious, lawsuit, lawsuits, legal advice, medical advice, modern life"He was my first patient."
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doctor, doctors, doctor's office, doctor's office, clinic, clinics, hospital, hospital, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointment, patient, patients, first patient, dead, death, skull, skulls, bone, bones, medical, medicine, bad doctor, bad doctors, incompetent, incompetence, incompetents, incompetent doctor, incompetent doctors, questionable, malpractice, medical malpractice, health care, healthcare