Medical Malpractice Cartoons

"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."

"This is a second opinion. At first, I thought you had something else."

"If I knew where I'd lost the sponge, it wouldn't be lost, now, would it?"

"Why carry malpractice insurance if you don't malpractice once in a while?"

"Hey, I've operated on this guy before—there are my initials."

"Ah, the lovely widow!"

"Shows you how much I know."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Nowadays, Mr. Lambert, we practice preventive medicine. In laymen's terms, this means I don't do a damn thing until I talk to my lawyer."

"Your infection may be antibiotic-resistant, but let's see how it responds to intensive litigation."

"It's not our policy to disclose details of a future operation."

Surgical Ward- Please Replace Divots

"More ashtray, nurse! For God's sake, more ashtray!"

"It's a good thing you're here. I just punctured your eardrum."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"Whoa – way too much information."

"Try jiggling the liver."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

"We'll be performing the operation using original instruments."

"We did the best we could, but I was doing drugs during most of medical school."

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

"I want you to lie as still as possible while Lyle and I take our lunch break."

"If the treatment hasn't helped, Mrs. Jensen, I think the best thing you can possibly do is sue me. Litigation is often very therapeutic."

"He was my first patient."