Medicine Cartoons

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

"I'll be performing the operation, and this is the anesthesiologist."

"Could we up the dosage? I still have feelings."

"Me? I'm just one of those shadowy figures who inhabit the mysterious twilight world where the medical and legal professions meet."

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

"Please, honey, I'm with a patient, and I've asked you not to call me on this line."

"What's the next best medicine?"

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

"Uh-oh, your coverage doesn't seem to include illness."

"These medicines all taste pretty good - let's approve them."

"There will be a bit of a wait while we figure out a market solution to your problem."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"The active ingredient is marketing."

"This patient has a rare form of medical insurance."

"You should just feel a tiny prick, and then a lifetime of morphine addiction."

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

Inside One's Memory Bank

"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

A woman on a beach boardwalk looks shocked as a topless man walks past her with a back tattoo that reads "I got hepatitis at Randy's Tattoo Parlor."

"I'm allergic to the sun."

"All the body parts were locally sourced."

"Clear!"

"You tested positive for being negative."