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"And if you sign up for our Gold Star membership level we stop pestering you to sign up."
'The N.R.A's Written Test for A Gun License.'
"Before we start, have you folks considered upgrading to Platinum Élite membership?"
"We're not accepting applications right now, but we'll give you a call the minute one of our members drowns."
"Would you care to join the 'American association of dead people'?"
"At this time, we'd like to begin boarding our 'It's all about me' members."
"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"