"Two Stones tickets, please, senior discount."
"Trust me—sex sells."
Tags:sales technique, sales techniques, sales strategy, sales strategies, vendor, vendors, street vendor, street vendors, street cart, street carts, sex selling, hot dog, hot dogs, hot dog cart, hot dog carts, street cart, street carts, entice, entices, enticing, unattractive, middle age, middle aged, unattractive, customer, customers, marketing, attracting customers, delusion, delusions, delusional, handsome
Inside One's Memory Bank
Tags:memory banks, memory bank, memory, memories, middle-age, middle-aged, middle aged, middle age, old age, brain, brains, ageing, aging, science, medicine, doctors, history, fax machines, wood chips, heads, brainpower, knowledge, new knowledge, learning curve, learning curves, neurologist, neurologists, neurology
"I just want to fill out my t-shirt with a bit more authority."
Tags:muscle, muscles, body building, bodybuilding, body builder, bodybuilders, bodybuilder, body builders, gym, gyms, gym goer, gym goers, get fit, getting fit, personal trainer, personal trainers, authority, authoritative, beer belly, beer bellies, ageing, getting older, middle age, middle aged, masculinity
"My friend with the long-haired dachshunds is Noreen."
"Hey, great ab!"
Tags:beach, beaches, seaside, seashore, fitness, out of shape, out-of-shape, physical fitness, muscle, muscles, ab, abs, abdominal muscle, abdominal muscles, fat, chubby, overweight, obese, beer belly, exercise, health, unhealthy, compliment, compliments, complimenting, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, beauty, lazy, laziness, couch potato, couch potatoes
Tags:old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, over the hill, over-the-hill, senile, senility, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, tattoo, tattoos, getting a tattoo, full moon, full moons, insanity, crazy, strange, idea, ideas, sudden, impulse, impulsive
"Take some identification with you in case you die."
Tags:dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan, cycling, cycle, bicycle, bike, biking, bicycles, cyclist, cyclists, cyclist humor, cyclist humour, id, identification, identity, id card, proof of identity, old age, old, age, elderly, exercise, exercising, middle age, middle aged, middle ages, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, death, dead, died, dying, die, marriage, married, married life
Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.
The Seven Ages of Man: Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Bashful, Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy.
Tags:life, stage of life, stages of life, sleepy, sleepiness, infant, infants, infancy, childhood, child, kid, kids, grow up, grows up, growing up, teen, teens, teenager, young adults, adults, adulthood, grown up, middle age, middle aged, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, chronicle, chronicles, stage, stages, age, ages, ageing, aging
Man and a woman sit in a living room; a sign on the wall behind them reads "100% Recycled Conversation".
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, conversation, conversation, boring, dull, unexciting, stale, stagnant, stable, stability, romance, unromantic, lack of romance, lacking romance, lack of excitement, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, stages of a relationship, recycle, recycled, recycling, talk, talks, talking, ltr, ltrs, long term relationship, long term relationships, variety
"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"
Tags:yakuza, tattoo, tattoos, tattooed, tat, tatted, beach, beaches, sunbathe, sunbathing, marriage, married, married life, married couple, couples, couple, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, coast, coastal, coastal break, full body tattoos, middle aged, middle age, middle aged, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, fashion, fashion choices, culture clash
Cyclops Notices He's Getting Bald and Decides That's the Last Straw
"He's running late this morning. He unexpectedly snapped out of denial."
Tags:denial, in denial, late for work, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, monday morning, monday mornings, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, middle age, middle aged, getting old, getting older, ageing, crisis, existential crisis, running late, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, sick day, sick days, sick leave, sickie, sickies, the inevitability of death
"I'm just as ambivalent about her as the day we met, fifty years ago."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, romance, romantic, love, first meeting, first date, first dates, anniversary, anniversaries, wedding anniversary, 50, fifty, mixed, ambivalent, undecided, unsure, feeling, feelings, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged
"Ah, the ecstasy of moving all the right muscle groups."
"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."
"Well, it's official. Any chance for candle-in-the-wind notoriety has pretty much passed us by."
Tags:candle in the wind, word play, play on words, sayings, saying, expression, expressions, dog, dogs, dog walking, dog walkers, dog walker, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, husband, wife, husbands, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, relationship, relationships, spouse, spouses, middle aged, unlikely, unlikely pair, successful marriage, die young, dies young, dying young, premature, premature death, premature deaths, grow old, grows old, growing old, memorial, memorials, infamous, gone too soon
"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "
Four Stages of Boyhood
Star Light, Star Bright
Tags:bedroom, bedrooms, bedtime, night, night time, husband, husbands, wife, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, relationship, relationships, dead bedroom, middle aged, stale, stagnation, wish upon a star, stars, wishing star, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, childish, immature, in the mood
Ten Plagues for Today's Seder
Tags:passover, plague, plagues, seder, seders, spam, catalogue, catalogues, body hair, reality show, reality shows, underachiever, underachieves, ten plagues, old testament, torah, call waiting, megastore, megastores, audit, audits, middle age, middle aged, modern life, modern times, jewish holiday, jewish holidays, shpasik, jtoons
"Armand, which summer did we become chair people?"
"I ran across something today you don't see much anymore—a guilty conscience."