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"In accordance with the by-laws of this corporation, you get all the milk you want but only two cookies each."
"First, milk and cookies, Excellency, then a nap, and then OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"
"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"
"Dear Santa, Enjoy the fat-free cookies, although you don't strike me as health-conscious."
Dear Suzy and Billy, Kindly go stuff your almond milk and gluten free chia cookies you smug little fat-shamers. Santa.