Murdering Cartoons

"I had to do it, Jeb. He was grilling zucchini."

"A razor-sharp, six-hundred-pound penny for your thoughts, Mr. Bond."

"Sorry, Harold, but I'm reducing our carbon footprint."

"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."

"Why can't you be more like Hutchinson? You don't hear him complaining."

"Little Joey invented the one-click rubout."

"Hold it right there."

A number of runners run through police tape.

"Let's update our will and go on vacation."

"Anti-personnel land mines pose no threat to people, Colonel. Only to personnel."

"Wait - use a knife. It's greener."

"I'm sorry, David, but I think it's best to make a clean break."

"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."

"Well, Hell is going to be so packed – I guess I'd just as soon get there early."

"No—a bigger box."

Who Wants To Be Regis?

"There's a lesson for us. If you don't chop off a few heads now and then, you'll end up paying taxes."

"God, these throw-pillows are terrible for smothering."

"I'm sorry, Eddie, but the old man wants me to kill you."

"It might be considered a hate crime, so tell me honestly. Did you shoot your husband because of his gender?"

"I hope I can still count on an endorsement."

"Hey! What's with the brick on the accelerator?"

Bipartisan Agreements

Eddie (The Sandman) Fasolino

"Sorry if I'm butchering your name."