New Age Cartoons

"I find the yoga helps me to be more irritating."

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"You'd tell me if I was genetically modified?"

This Year's Spa

"You've been fooling around with alternative medicines, haven't you?"

"Just tell me about the new continent. I don't give a damn what you've discovered about yourself."

"My parents decriminalized sugar."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

"They're trying to give a new face to policing."

"I am going to SoHo. My doshas are all out of balance. Well, my kapha is hunky-dory but my pitta and vata are out of whack. Today the practitioner is going to get rid of all the stress with geranium, ylang-ylang, bergamot, and patchouli, and, of course, a little time in the steam tent."

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

Lesser-Known 'Conscious Uncouplings

"There is a man at the door who needs seventeen dollars to buy some sweet grass to burn as a spiritual cleansing agent during his prayer ceremonies."

"And, for music, you want traditional or new age?"

Specialist Directory: Cardiology, Dermatology, Hematology, Leeches

"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

"What'll it be—Novocain or Yanni?"

"How long have we been sitting on balls, Jon?"

"Instead of waiting for the next big thing to transform our lives, why don't we give it a shot ourselves?"

For Witches of a Certain Age

Customs at the L.A. Airport

"She got amazing swag on her spiritual journey."

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."