Newspaper Cartoons

"I wish you would make up your mind, Mr. Dickens. Was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could scarcely have been both."

"Extra! Extra! News of a gentler, bygone time!"

"Well, if you were Gergen what would you tell McLarty to tell Clinton to tell Christopher to do?"

"Stop worrying about Madonna. She's probably just retooling for her next surge."

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

"Could you take your finger off the pulse for one moment and let me know what you'd like for dinner?"

Woman in prison's visitation room, screaming at prisoner who is reading a newspaper

The Best of Times/The Worst of Times

"I'd like to see you do this online."

"Oh, shush! You live by Janet Maslin, you're going to die by Janet Maslin."

Woman falls down.

Newspaper Categories

"Blood pressure is fine. Now let me just check your pessimism for the 'Times.' "

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

"They just made a little money the old-fashioned way, Ben–they stole it."

"He's from PM."

"This one, when you open it, smells like the Times."

"It's not just me, Doctor. He's been turning away from the New York 'Times' as well."

"What could I do? It jumped off the newsstand."

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"And what's the story behind the story?"

"A simple command. She gets right to the point. I must obey. Still...I see that rolled-up newspaper as a threatening gesture designed to humble and instill fear. Therefore, later, while she sleeps. I will chew up her other shoe."

Reading Over your Shoulder