"Don't give me that. My lawyers assure me there's a loophole in your menu's no-substitution clause big enough to drive a truck through. Now, either I get my creamed spinach instead of those fried onion rings or we'll continue this discussion in court."
"Can you just give it to me for free? My daughter's birthday is tomorrow and she will literally STARVE if we don't have it. You don't even have kids! What could you possibly need the money for? How heartless can you be? My daughter's birthday is ruined now. Either give it to me or sell it to someone else and give me what they paid you!! Oh and YOU drop it off. I live about 700 miles away."