"Put simply, the mission is to discover a potential enemy who could justify our three-hundred-billion-dollar defense budget."
Tags:military, general, generals, armed forces, war, wars, battle, battles, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, military spending, military budget, defense, defence, defense budget, defence budget, usa, united states, america, politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, president, presidents
"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, diagnosis, diagnoses, treatment, treatments, cure, cures, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicines, meds, prescription, prescriptions, pill, pills, antibiotic, antibiotics, infection, infections, strategy, strategies, military, general, generals, officer, officers, troop, troops, war, wars, plan of attack, answer, answers
"Do I know how fast I was going? Isn't that your job?"
Tags:word play, play on words, irony, ironic, police, policeman, police man, police officer, officer, officers, road, roads, highway, highways, interstate, inter state, drive, driving, drives, driven, drove, speed, speeding, speeding ticket, ticket, tickets, pulled over, pull over, motorcycle cop, motorbike cop, cop, cops, sports car, sports cars, sportscar, deadpan, dead pan, sarcasm, sarcastic, bad idea, bad ideas, highway patrol, moving violation, moving violations
Snowman going through airport security
Tags:airport, airports, international airport, international airports, flying, air travel, travel, tourism, passenger, passengers, screening, screenings, security screening, security screenings, security, protection, safety, scanner, scanners, metal detector, metal detectors, detector, detectors, officer, officers, tsa, t.s.a., transportation security administration, department of homeland security, snowman, snowmen, carrot, carrots, carrot nose, carrot noses, scarf, scarfs, tray, trays, put all your belongings in the tray, going through airport security, going through security
"This next song goes out to anyone who's ever been in love with the idea of invading Iran."
Tags:war, iran, war in iran, live music, music, performer, performers, performing, performance, performances, piano, piano player, piano players, pianos, military, officer, soldier, soldiers, officers, general, generals, conflict, political conflict, invade, invasion, military invasion, bar, bars, restaurant, restaurants, veteran, veterans, war vet, war veteran, war veterans, war vets, armed forces, servicemen, servicewomen, history, historical, persian gulf
"That's him—the one on the right."
Tags:evolve, evolved, evolves, evolution, evolutionary, line up, line-up, police lineup, lineup, police, policeman, cop, cops, police man, officer, officers, police officer, ape, apes, monkey, monkeys, prehistory, prehistoric, history, historical, science, theory, theory of evolution, darwin, darwinism, creation, creationism
"Officer, shouldn't this be a time for healing?"
Tags:officer, officers, police officer, police officers, traffic cop, traffic cops, speeding, driver, drivers, driving, speeding ticket, speeding tickets, bad driving, bad driver, bad drivers, time for healing, healing process, damage limitation, traffic violation, traffic violations, police brutality, police misconduct, police violence
"Nope. Looks to me like a clear-cut case of suicide by somehow reaching around behind the back and sticking a knife in backward. Let's get a drink."
Tags:detective, detectives, police, crimes, police officer, police officers, officer, officers, stab, criminal, stabbing, stabs, stabbed, kill, killed, killing, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murderous, investigation, investigating, investigate, investigation, investigates, scene, crime scene, crime scenes, lazy, conclusion, unlikely, conclusions, laziness, work, working, bored, suicidal, incompetence, incompetent, cover up, coverup, cover-up, cover ups
"I'm having trouble getting everyone lined up."
"Anti-personnel land mines pose no threat to people, Colonel. Only to personnel."
Tags:land mine, land mines, anti-personnel, mine, mines, minefield, minefields, mine field, mine fields, military, military personnel, euphemisms, language, language trick, language tricks, kill, kills, killing, killings, murder, murders, murdering, military man, military men, general, generals, commander, commanders, army, armies, officer, officers
"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, security, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, safety, bomb, bombs, sniffer dog, sniffer dogs, security dog, security dogs, bomb dog, bomb dogs, luggage, baggage, border control, customs, officer, officers, screening officer, screening officers, screening, security screening, scan, scanning, scanner, protect, protection, dog handler, dog handlers, explosive, explosives, ineffective, useless, incompetent, air travel, transportation, flying, tsa, tsa agent, agent, tsa officer, transportation security officer, transportation security administration, homeland security, department of homeland security, screening equipment, bomb detection, canine, canines, terror, terrorism
A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, cowboy, cowboys, wild west, western, westerns, old west, shooting, weapon, weapons, firearm, firearms, gun, guns, gun control, firearms regulation, gun violence, gun crime, armed, armed response, holster, holsters, military, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, officer, officers, firearms unit, firearm units, armed unit, armed units, violence, violent, security, guard dog, guard dogs, guarding, law enforcement
"O.K. That covers the last meal. Now, which would you prefer, hanging, electrocution, or lethal injection?"
Tags:prison, prisons, jail, jails, incarceration, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminal, punishments, capital punishment, death penalty, officer, officers, guard, guards, jailer, jailers, prison guard, prison guards, note, notes, questionnaire, questionnaires, survey, surveys, data collection, last meal, last meals, meal, meals, food, hanging, electrocution, lethal injection, execution, executions, methods of execution, condemned, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"And this is a crossword puzzle I'm working on."
Tags:military, officer, officers, general, generals, rank, ranks, medal, medals, pin, pins, lapel, lapels, lapel pin, lapel pins, decoration, decorations, award, awards, badge, badges, bar, bars, ribbon, ribbons, hero, heroes, heroism, bravery, service, service record, service records, record of service, crossword puzzle, crossword puzzles, crossword, crosswords, word puzzle, word puzzles, puzzle, puzzles, show-off, brag, display, hobby, hobbies, leisure, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties
"No flag pin!"
Tags:military, officer, officers, soldier, soldiers, general, generals, rank, ranks, medal, medals, pin, pins, lapel, lapels, lapel pin, lapel pins, decoration, decorations, award, awards, badge, badges, bar, bars, ribbon, ribbons, hero, heroes, heroism, bravery, service, service record, service records, record of service, flag, flags, flag pin, flag pins, missing, patriotism, patriot, patriots, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties
Modern William Tell Uses An Air-Strike To Hit Apple
Tags:air strike, air strikes, drone strike, air force, drone, drones, air-strike, air-strikes, drone-strikes, militaries, military, army, armies, violent, violence, calling it in, call it in, general, generals, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, modern warfare, war, warfare, modern war, modern life, technology, spin off, spin-off, spoof, spoofed, parody, parodies, parodied, william tell, folkstory, folkstories, folktale, folktales
"Honey, I still think you're the greatest."
Tags:marriage, married life, married, wife, wives, husband, husbands, criminal, criminals, crimes, criminal justice, law, police, police officer, officers, officer, cop, cops, arrest, arrested, arresting, arrests, nonchalant, nonchalance, unfased, unfazed, concerned, unconcerned, worried, not worried, trust, trusting, trusted, trusts, belief, believe, believes, faith, faithful, faithfulness, support, supportive, supports, verbal support
"Country Club Dungeon"
Tags:dungeon, dungeons, prison, prisoners, guard, guards, officer, officers, customer service, service, good service, good customer service, room service, snack, snacks, snacktime, snack time, country club, country clubs, fancy, expensive, swanky, posh, upscale, club, clubs, private club, private clubs, members only club, members only clubs, waiter, waiters, server, servers, cushy, comfortable, white-collar, the one percent, the 1%, rich, wealthy, social status, class, high-society
"General Torrentine is for when we want something a bit more spontaneous than a measured response."
"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."
Tags:military, general, generals, armed forces, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, jet, jets, pilot, pilots, airforce, air force, war, wars, battle, battles, havoc, mayhem, bad planning, bad idea, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, uniform, uniforms, operation plan, combat, presentation, presentations
General U.S. Grant Displays Rare Emotion At Appomattox.
Tags:battle of appomattox, ulysses s. grant, civil war, american civil war, general, generals, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, uniform, uniforms, military, politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, president, presidents, union, confederate, confederation
"Officer, everything in the world is bothering me."
Tags:police report, police reports, complaint, complain, complains, complaining, annoyance, annoyances, grievance, grievances, patrol, patrols, patrolling, bother, bothers, bothering, petty, pettiness, officer, officers, patrol officer, patrol officers, local police, police department, police departments, waste of time, wastes of time
"General Hoskins, I don't care if you are in charge of our star-wars defense. You must wear a regulation uniform."
"All we know is it happened between the hours of 9 A.M. and 4 P.M."
"You can let that go till later, Harris."
Tags:navy, royal navy, sailor, sailors, soldier, soldiers, war, wars, battle, battles, sea battle, sea battles, battleship, battleships, captain, captains, armed forces, military, militaries, officer, officers, infantry, military service, naval officer, order, orders, swabbing, swabbing the deck, futile, futility, oblivious, unfazed, wwii, world war ii, ww ii, world war, world wars