"Don't even think about it, buster!"
Tags:cupid's arrow, cupid, valentine, valentines, cupids arrow, valentine's day, valentines day, married couple, married couples, turn in, turns in, turning in, turn in early, turning in early, resistant, resistance, shoot, shoots, shooting, shot, married life, married lives, old married couple, old married couples, low sex drive, low sex drives
"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."
Tags:animal, animals, tortoise, old married couple, old married couples, old-married-couple, old-married-couples, giant tortoise, tortoises, giant tortoises, turtle, turtles, reptile, reptiles, old, old age, ageing, aging, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, lifespan, wife, wives, husband, husbands, long life, long-life, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps
"Relax, honey - change is good."
Tags:death, grim reaper, black humor, language, clichés, dark humor, dark humour, die, dies, dying, transition, transitions, change, changes, changing, positive change, positive changes, afterlife, afterlives, good change, good changes, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, mankoff
"You've got a green light - use it!"
"We never close, do we, Howard?"
"You never buy anything I want."
Tags:shop, shopping, grocery shopping, weekly shop, but, buying, buys, food shopping, food shop, grocery shop, grocery store, grocery stores, marketing, marriage, marriages, relationship, relationship, old married couple, old married couples, bicker, bickering, snide comment, snide comments, argue, arguement, argues, arguments, complaint, compliants, complain, complains, complaining, whinge, whinging, whine, whining, gender stereotype, stereotype, stereotypical, stereotypical argument, stereotypical arguments, priority, priorities
"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."
"If I ever say anything I haven't said already, let me know."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married couple, old married couple, old married couples, unhappy marriage, unhappy relationship, bicker, bickering, bore, boorish, boring, boring old man, boring old woman, monotonous, monotony, tedious conversation, boring conversation, repetitive, repetitive conversation, long term relationship, long term relationships, conversation, conversations, recycle, recycles, recycling, bore, bores, boring, couples therapy, therapy, therapist, therapists, original thought, stuck in a rut, rut, ruts
"Just what vows do you want to renew?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, wedding, weddings, marriage vow, marriage vows, renewal of vows, marriage vow renewal, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, financial security, start over, starting over, old married couple, old married couples, long-term relationships, spousal dispute, spousal disputes
"True. But what it says about him is something I've known for years."
Tags:mirror, mirrors, tailor, tailors, tailoring, suit, suits, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, statement, statements, statement outfit, statement outfits, make a statement, makes a statement, making a statement, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, double breasted suit, double breasted suits, buying clothes, retailer, retailers, aware, awareness, buying clothes, clothes shopping, clothing shopping
"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."
"Have you seen my castanets?"
Tags:out of season, wrong time, castanet, castanets, unlikely, married, married life, marriage, couple, couples, married couple, old married couples, instrument, instruments, spanish, culture, cultured, cultural, what for, wife, wives, husband, husbands, nonchalant, nonchalance, furniture, search, searching, searches, strange search, dance, dancer, dancing, dancers, flamenco, exotic
The Night of the Living Dead.
Tags:marriage, marriages, zombie, zombies, zombie movie, zombie movies, zombie film, zombie films, living dead, watches tv, watching tv, couple, couples, married couple, married couples, middle age, middle aged, nonexistent, routine, routines, evening routine, evening routines, bored, boring, old married couple, old married couples, age, ages, ageing, aging
"Who the hell is Marky Mark?"
Tags:spouse, spouses, wife, wives, husband, husbands, partner, partners, old married couple, old married couples, compliment, compliments, clueless, clueless husband, underwear, underwear model, underwear models, musician, musicians, pop star, celebrity, celebrities, out of touch, uncool, aging, aged, older, old, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, seniors, old fashioned
"We were dog people when we met - what happened?"
Tags:dog people, dog person, cat person, cat people, cat, cats, dog, dogs, canine, canines, feline, felines, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, old married couple, old married couples, cat lover, cat owner, cat owners, cat lovers, dog lover, dog lovers, dog owner, dog owners, change, changes, bad influence, bad influences, family pet, family pets
"If I weren't so fond of you, I'd probably be really fond of someone else."
Tags:fond, fondness, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, married couples, marital problem, marital problems, old married couple, old married couples, happy marriage, happy marriages, affectionate, affection, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, love life, love-life, commitment issue, commitment, commitments
"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."
Tags:dumpster, dumpsters, cleanout, clean out, clean outs, anniversary, anniversaries, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries, clutter, clutters, cluttered, spring clean, spring cleans, spring cleaning, rubbish, junk, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, hoard, hoards, hoarded, old married couple, old married couples, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas
"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."
Tags:tinnitus, snore, snores, snoring, perfect match, perfect matches, true love, true loves, sleeping disorder, sleeping disorders, sleep disorder, sleep disorders, snorer, snorers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, hearing problem, hearing problems, hearing noises, old age, ageing, old married couple, old married couples, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens
"It's me Clara - authorized personnel."
Tags:visit, visits, visitor, visitors, authorized, authorization, authorized personnel only, authorised personnel only, private, privacy, bedroom, bedrooms, old married couple, old married couples, married couple, married couples, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age pensioner, old age pensioners, grow old, grows old, growing old, visiting, visiting hours
"We met cute, but we didn't continue cute."
"Of course we've already had this conversation. There isn't a conversation we haven't already had."
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, old married couple, old married couples, long-term relationships, memory, bad memory, repeating conversations, boring conversation, boring conversations, getting old, getting on, getting older, retiring, middle age, middle aged
"We never talk anymore."
Tags:dummy, dummies, ventriloquist, ventriloquists, ventriloquism, talk, talks, talking, conversation, conversations, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, chat, chats, chatting, speak, speaks, speaking, comedian, comedians, vaudeville, throw your voice, throwing your voice
"What's up? It's been aeons since you last whistled 'Old Buttermilk Sky.' "
Tags:ole buttermilk sky, old buttermilk sky, whistle, whistles, whistling, hum, hums, humming, familiar tune, familiar tunes, spouse, spouses, long marriage, married couple, married couples, change of behavior, cause for concern, familiar, familiarity, husband, husbands, wife, wives, old married couple, old married couples
"Do you realize the Rolling Stones have been together longer than we have?"
Tags:band, bands, rock band, rock bands, classic rock, rolling stones, old bands, 60s, 60s music, sixties music, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, long term relationship, long term relationships, pointing out the obvious, point out the obvious, old, old music
Misery loves company
Tags:carving, carve, carved, carving names into a tree, love, love heart, romance, romantic, romantic, love hearts, 4ever, forever, misery loves company, old married couple, old married couples, misery, miserable, miserable couple, miserable couples, pessimist, pessimists, pessimistic, unhappy, unhappiness