"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"
"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."
Tags:tick, ticks, paranoia, paranoid, garden of eden, paradise, paradises, garden of earthly delights, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, old testament, genesis, torah, the torah, earthly paradise, check, checks, checking, bite, bites, biting, insect bite, insect bites, bug bit, bug bites, nuisance, nuisances
Tags:garden of eden, the garden of eden, original sin, genesis, the book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, the bible, biblical, christianity, christian, judaism, jewish, christians, football, foul, fouls, soccer, football game, football games, soccer game, soccer games, red card, red cards, football player, football players, soccer players, soccer players
"But Moses, if I let your people go I'll have to let everybody's people go."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, moses, pharaoh, pharaohs, egypt, ancient egypt, israelite, people, let go, everybody, government, governments, politics, lithuania, gorbachev, mikhail gorbachev, communism, communist, communists, soviet russia, soviet union, russia, russian, history, historical, lithuanian independence, sovereignty, problem, problems
Noah's Ark Paper Airplane
Tags:noah's ark, ark, bible, bible story, biblical, christian, christianity, christians, paper airplane, paper aeroplane, paper airplanes, paper aeroplanes, flood, floods, old testament, genesis, book of genesis, myth, myths, god, religion, religions, religious, free spirit, carefree, wanderlust, paper plane, paper planes, symbolism, animals
"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."
"We made good time. We're already in the valley of the shadow of death."
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, road, roads, roadtrip, roadtrips, road trip, road trips, vacation, vacations, trip, trips, holiday, holidays, sign, signs, road sign, road signs, religion, religious, bible, old testament, psalm, psalms, psalm 23, david, king david, the lord is my shepherd, valley of the shadow of death, death, evil, fear, valley, valleys, shadow, shadows, word play, wordplay
"Nooo. Not my legs."
"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."
Tags:david, goliath, investment advisor, investment adviser, investment advisers, investment advisors, investor, investors, investment, investments, money advice, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, bible, bibles, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, old testament, war, wars, conflict, conflicts
"Hold on-I think you got my toast."
Moses' Reading Glasses
"Don't worry, Ma - I'm too big to fail."
Ten Plagues for Today's Seder
Tags:passover, plague, plagues, seder, seders, spam, catalogue, catalogues, body hair, reality show, reality shows, underachiever, underachieves, ten plagues, old testament, torah, call waiting, megastore, megastores, audit, audits, middle age, middle aged, modern life, modern times, jewish holiday, jewish holidays, shpasik, jtoons
"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."
Tags:calamity, calamities, flood, great flood, noah, noah's ark, noahs ark, old testament, torah, genesis, book of genesis, economy, economies, economic ruin, economic ruins, fallout, fallouts, market correction, market corrections, great recession, great depression, financial recession, financial depression, rebuild, rebuilds, rebuilding, reconstruction, economic ruin, economic calamity, economic calamities, economist, economists, big picture
"And the Lord spoke to the children of Israel and said, 'Thou must forswear these practices which are a blasphemy and an abomination in my sight, you know what I'm saying?'"
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, preacher, preachers, sermon, sermons, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, casual, informal, understandable, slang, modern language, modern english, modern life, you know
"And thanks for the potluck."
Tags:noahs arc, noah's arc, genesis, book of genesis, great flood, the great flood, old testament, the old testament, lion, lions, potluck, potlucks, guest, guests, host, hosts, good host, good hosts, lion, lions, food chain, food chains, predator, predators, mistake, mistakes, big mistake, big mistakes, dinner guest, dinner guests
Tags:garden of eden, the garden of eden, genesis, book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, tempted, tempting, temptations, christianity, christian, christians, judaism, jews, jewish, forbidden fruit, the forbidden fruit, smoothie, smoothies, blender, blenders, smoothie maker, smoothie makers, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, fad, fads, healthy living
"Well, we needed the rain."
"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."
Tags:priest, priests, vicar, vicars, church, churches, sermon, sermons, homily, homilies, boring sermon, boring sermons, church service, church services, the bible, old testament, the old testaments, scripture, quote, quotes, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, cherry picking, word of god, bible studies
Cash / EZ-Pass / Wages of Sin.
Tags:car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, barrier, barriers, toll, tolls, levy, levies, toll road, toll roads, road, roads, bible, bibles, christianity, christians, christian, sinners, sinning, romans, old testament, old testaments, wages of sin is death, death, dead, drive, driving, drives
"Is he the God of the Old or the New Testament this morning?"
Tags:god, gods, bible, bibles, old testament, old testaments, new testament, new testaments, businesses, business, office, offices, secretary, secretaries, mood, moods, personality, personalities, grumpy, happy, kind, emotion, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, angel, angels, religion, religions, christian, christianity, jealous god, forgiveness, boss, bosses, angry, anger
"No one said we couldn't eat the snake."
"Use a five iron!"
Moses crosses the Grand Central Parkway
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, moses, parting the sea, red sea, parting, crossing, crossings, grand central parkway, new york, new york city, ny, nyc, parkway, parkways, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, transportation, traffic, driving, driver, drivers, parked, stopped, rush hour, congestion, congested, traffic jam, traffic jams, waiting
"I knew the woodpeckers were a mistake."
Tags:woodpecker, woodpeckers, bird, birds, noah, noah's ark, noahs ark, ark, arks, wildlife, mistake, mistakes, regret, regrets, flaw in the plan, flawed plan, flawed plans, sinking ship, sinking ships, bible story, biblical flood, sunday school, bible stories, genesis, old testament, torah story, torah stories, book of genesis, flood, floods, flooding