"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."
Tags:there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, poem, poems, poetry, children's story, children's stories, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairytales, shoe, shoes, boot, boots, footwear, lace, laces, shoelace, shoelaces, landmark, landmarks, landmark commission, landmark commissions, historical landmark, historical landmarks, historical, history, historical building, historical buildings, heritage, heritage building, heritage buildings, conservation, commission, commissions, real estate, property, properties, architecture, architect, architects, ton of bricks, old woman, old women, preservation, protection, change
"Elsie is still waiting for postmenopausal zest to kick in."
Tags:menopause, menopausal, depression, depressed, depressing, lust for life, zest, seize the day, wait, waits, waiting, unrealistic, unlikely, long wait, long waits, lonely, loneliness, post-menopause, grow old, growing old, old woman, old women, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, mental health
"A gentleman would offer his seat."
Tags:old lady, old ladies, old woman, old women, concert, concerts, performance, performer, performers, piano, pianist, pianists, music, musician, musicians, stage, stages, theatre, manners, gentlemen, gentleman, etiquette, chivalry, chivalrous, interruption, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, o.a.p., o.a.p.s, good manners, bad manners
"Did he have any distinguishing characteristics besides a strong sense of entitlement?"
Tags:crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, robbed, robber, robbers, robbery, mugged, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, policeman, policemen, entitlement, entitled, old people, elder, elders, elderly, old man, old men, old woman, old women, old lady, old ladies, arrogance, arrogant, angry, anger, description, characteristics
"Marie, are you still driving?"
Tags:car, cars, accident, accidents, drive, drives, driver, drivers, driving, driving license, license, licensed, points, clean license, age, ageing, aged, ageing gracefully, elder, elderly, old man, old lady, old woman, growing old, upside down, crash, crashed, nonchalant, nonchalance, indifferent, indifference, safe, safety, safe to drive
"Mother's ninety-one and still depreciating."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, depreciate, depreciating, depreciation, belittle, belittling, belittled, family, families, old age, old people, old lady, old woman
"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"
"It's just as easy to love a man with a pension as to love a man without one."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, marriage, marriages, married life, love, easy to love, finances, money, pension, pensions, rich, wealth, wealthy, poor, poverty, old age, age, old people, old woman, old women, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, elderly, elderly people, rich man, poor man, expression, expressions, cliche, cliches, proverb, proverbs, it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one, marry for money, marrying for money, cliche, cliches
"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, baggage, luggage, confrontation, confronting, old age, age, ageing, aging, old lady, old ladies, old woman, old women, old man, old men, elder, elders, elderly, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, flirt, flirty, flirting
"Yes, I can remember when it was nothing but forest land as far as you could see."
Tags:urban development, develop, development, building, buildings, houses, house, construction, forest, forests, deforestation, tree, trees, cut down, destroy, destroyed, destruction, environment, nature, environmental destruction, housing development, housing developments, real estate, property, properties, suburbs, suburbans, suburbia, shoe, shoes, shoe house, shoe houses, old woman who live in a shoe, old woman, old women, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, poem, poems, poetry, literature
"In the old days, we weren't old."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, age, aging, ageing, old age, old man, old men, old woman, old women, elderly, elder, elders, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, good ole days, good old days
"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."
"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "
Tags:lineup, lineups, witness, witnesses, escalator, escalators, rage, rages, raging, lose control, losing control, lose temper, lose your temper, losing your temper, crowd, crowds, mall, malls, shopping mall, shopping malls, shopping spree, shopping sprees, self-control, old lady, old woman, inconsiderate, disproportionate response, disproportionate responses, identify, identifies, identifying, police lineup, police lineups, cop, cops, christmas season, black friday
"May I represent you across the street?"
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barristers, represent, representing, representation, legal representation, legal representative.legal representative, old lady, old ladies, elderly lady, elderly ladies, old woman, old women, elderly women, elderly woman, little old lady, cross the street, crossing the street, cross the road, crossing the road, little old lady crossing the road, help, assist, vulnerable, vulnerability, vulnerable person, vulnerable people, take advantage, taking advantage, client, clients, malpractice, malpractices
Tags:shoe, shoes, boot, boots, there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, old woman, old women, elderly woman, elderly women, kickass, kick ass, kick-ass, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, childrens song, childrens songs, children's song, children's songs, business man, business men, business person, business people, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, going to work, leaving home, the rat race, rat race, office worker, office workers, competitive, competitiveness, competition, home, homes
"What do you think they put on the cat lover's pizza?"
Tags:old lady, old ladies, elderly, crazy cat lady, crazy cat ladies, cat lover, cat lovers, cat, cats, kitty, kitties, kitten, kittens, pussycat, pussycats, cat owner, cat owners, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, animal, animals, cat lady, cat ladies, old woman, old women, dining, restaurant, restaurants
Self Absorbed Christmas Tree
"Nation-wise, we're in a pickle."
Beware of Old Lady Rolling Up Yarn
"Why aren't you out there protecting us from evildoers, young man?"
Tags:scold, scolds, scolding, old lady, old woman, old women, evildoer, evildoers, protect, protects, protection, ingrate, ingrates, ungrateful, gratitude, superhero, superheroes, superheroic, deed, deeds, good deed, good deeds, idle, nag, nags, nagging, guilt, guilts, guilting, guilt-inducing, expectant, expectancy, crime, crime stopper, crime stopping, law enforcer, law enforcement, old biddy, old biddies
"...and a half-pound of pain and anguish."
"She was selling obscene needlepoint."
Tags:arrest, arrests, arrested, arresting, police officer, police officers, policemen, police men, police man, policeman, unreasonable, needlepoint, old lady, old woman, elderly lady, elderly woman, embroidery, embroidering, cross stitch, cross stitching, cross-stich, disgruntled, unfair, unfairness, obscene, obscenity
Women harass men hwo are leaving a coffee shop.
Tags:coffee shop, coffee shops, harass, harasses, harassment, annoy, annoys, annoying, annoyance, annoyances, wolf whistle, wolf whistles, wolf whistling, innocent, innocence, innocent look, innocent looks, drink, drinks, drinking, bell, bells, chirp, chirps, chirping, old woman, old women, park bench, park benches, bench, benches
"You're lucky. I'm turning into my mother."
Tags:full moon, the full moon, full moons, werewolf, werewolves, were-wolf, were-wolves, were wolf, were wolves, changing, change, transform, transforming, transformation, transformations, changeling, changelings, mother, mothers, daughter, daughters, mother and daughter, mothers and daughters, turning into your mother, age, ageing, old women, old woman, elderly woman, elderly women, lucky, unsympathetic, luckiness, folklore, lycanthrope, shapeshift, shapeshifting, shapeshifter, shapeshifters, european folklore