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"Of course there was sex and drugs when I was your age, but it was sex and drugs about ending the war."
"Lost a step? Hell, no. Those young zebras are juiced."
"When I was your age. I was really smelly."
New from Never Mind Books: The Best Story in All the World
"When I was your age we didn't play video games or take photos or locate things - we just did one thing and we took our sweet time doing it."
"Oh, my God. Old people."
"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."