Coming Soon: Another place to buy stuff!
"Sometimes I give myself the creeps."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, dying, grim, grim reaper, reapers, reaper, creepy, creeps, the creeps, bars, bar fly, heart to heart, honest, open up, opening, opening up, vulnerable, vulnerable, masculinity, alcohol, alcoholic, drink, drink, drinking, drown, sorrows, scythe, scythes, soul, souls, eternal soul, underworld, religion, religious, religious imagery, modern, modern life
Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher
Tags:castle, castles, moat, moats, drawbridge, drawbridges, bridge, bridges, knight, knights, soldier, soldiers, medieval, draw bridge, draw bridges, horse, horses, dish, dishes, plate, plates, cup, cups, pot, pots, dishware, dishwasher, dishwashers, dish washer, dish washer, appliance, appliances, kitchen, kitchens, open, opened, opening
Applesauce, pea soup, candied yams.
"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."
Tags:irony, ironic, artist, artists, art, paint, painter, painting, paints, reality, incomprehensible, modern, modern art, modern life, modern world, modernist, modernism, gallery, galleries, culture, cultures, cultured, postmodern, postmodernism, spoof, spoofed, spoofs, parodies, parodied, parody, self portrait, portrait, portraiture, high society, abstract, minimal, minimalist, taste, tastes, party, parties, upper class, class, drink, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, martini, maritinis, exhibit, bar, bars, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, reception, receptions, open, opening
"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."
Tags:taste, tastes, party, parties, upper class, class, drink, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, martini, maritinis, exhibit, bar, bars, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, reception, receptions, open, opening, introvert, introverts, introverted, introversion, shy, shyness, shyly, dinner party, dinner parties, busy, crowd, crowded, crowds, social, socially awkward, stress, stressful
"The trick is in shucking them out of their shells."
Tags:monster, monsters, creature, creatures, alien, aliens, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, human, humans, shell, shells, shuck, shucking, open, opening, science fiction, oyster, oysters, clam, clams, food, desert, deserts, trick, tricks, tricky, food preparation, cooking, cook, role reversal, cooking class, cooking lessons
"At your opening, I see that you had two glasses of wine, eight pieces of cheddar, eight crackers, and seventeen grapes. That, of course, will have to come off the top of your end."
Tags:art, artwork, artworks, artist, artists, painting, paintings, painter, painters, art gallery, art galleries, gallery, galleries, gallery opening, opening, openings, business, money, finances, nickel and dime, nickel-and-dime, petty, cheap, accountant, accountants, accounting, business expenses, food, drink, drinks, cost, costs, gallery owner, gallery owners
Annals of Chess: The Controversial "Soupy Sales" Opening
Tags:slapstick, slapstick comedy, slapstick comedian, slapstick comedians, comedian, comedians, comedy, comedies, opening, opening move, opening moves, chess, chess master, chess masters, chess club, chess clubs, strategy, strategies, strategy game, strategy games, pie, pies, pie in the face, pies in the face, opening gambit, opening gambits
"I read 'Art News.'"
Tags:art, showing, showings, opening, openings, art gallery, art galleries, art exhibit, art exhibits, art exhibition, art exhibitions, art museum, art museums, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, out of place, magazine, magazines, media, reader, readers, high-brow, social class, social status
"Shush, darling. Daddy's delivering his opening monologue."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, daddy, family, families, breakfast, breakfasts, brunch, brunches, meal, meals, mealtime, eating together, family meal, family meals, dinner table, dinner tables, opening, openings, monologue, monologues, opening monologue, delivering, oration, orations, orator, orators, speech, speeches, shush, quiet, silence
"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."
Tags:debut, debuts, open, opens, opening, play, plays, theatre, theatres, opening night, opening nights, curmudgeon, curmudgeons, gripe, gripes, griping, complain, complains, complaint, complaints, complaining, whine, whines, whining, whiner, whiners, critic, critics, critique, critiques, critical acclaim, acclaim, newbie, newbies, novelist, novelists, author, authors, writer, writers, literary critic, literary critics
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, food, seafood, lobster, lobsters, tank, tanks, fish tank, fish tanks, aquarium, aquariums, waiter, waiters, server, servers, waitress, waitresses, host, hosts, maitre d', maitre d's, front of house, opening, preparing, role, roles, play, plays, theater, theatre
"Wait. Let me have one more try."
Tags:wizard, wizards, warlock, warlocks, magic, magics, magician, magicians, robe, robes, magic wand, wand, incantation, incantations, spell, spells, ritual, rituals, black magic, white magic, can, can opener, open, opening, wife, wives, husbands and wives, husband and wife, married, married life, marriage, married couple, one more try, one more, help, helping, helping hand
"Those stories, plus Andy Rooney."
"I opened the last of the emergency wine."
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, wine, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, emergency, emergencies, emergency wine, problem, problems, issue, issues, bottle of wine, bottles of wine, last, opened, opening