"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."
Tags:baby, babies, it's a boy, it's a girl, child, children, having kids, kid, kids, having children, have children, regulation, regulations, genders, politically correct, political correctness, pc, p.c., pc culture, p.c. culture, federal government, privacy, private, offense, offended, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, family, families, parent, parents, political
"I'm a social scientist, Michael. That means I can't explain electricity or anything like that, but if you ever want to know about people I'm your man."
Tags:social scientist, social scientists, electricity, social study, social studies, social sciences, anthropology, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, knowledge, major, majors, bachelor's degree, ba, bas, sociology, sociologist, sociologists, anthropologist, anthropologists, archaeology, political science, useless knowledge, useless information, scientist, scientists, hard science, hard sciences, dad, dads, father, fathers, parent, parents
Tags:infertility, family, families, parent, parents, parenthood, babies, baby, reproduction, reproduce, pregnancy, couple, couples, married, marriage, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, wife, wives, farmer, farmers, bull, bulls, cow, cows, cattle, fertility, fertility clinic, farm animal, farm animals, animal, animals, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians
"Someday, son, this will all be yours—and underwater."
Tags:family, families, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, parent, parenthood, parents, inheritance, inherit, inherited, climate, climate change, global warming, future, flood, floods, flooded, flooding, pollution, pollutants, pollute, pollutant, erosion, weather, weather patterns, weather pattern, ecology, ecologist, ecologists, rising sea level, rising sea levels, rising sea temperature, rising sea temperatures, sea, ocean, oceans, seas, sustainable, sustainable energy, climate, temperature, generations, generation, passed down, property, properties, land
"Hi, Dad. Investment banking wasn't that great after all."
Tags:family, families, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, father, fatherhood, son, sons, return home, returning home, empty nester, empty nesters, living with parents, career, failed career, difficult career, job, work, unemployment, investment banking, business, bank, banks, money, welcome home, suitcase, suitcases, luggage, baggage, doorstep, family home
"All right, so I missed your soccer game. But didn't my assistant send you a lovely fruit basket?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenthood, bad parent, bad parents, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, son, sons, kid, kids, child, childhood, sports, sport, soccer, football, soccer game, football game, too busy, neglect, neglected, neglectful, forgetful, careless, hollywood, rich, famous, wealthy, rich people, wealthy people, convertible, convertibles, driving, drive, car, cars, disappoint, disappointed
"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, mom, mum, mums, mother, mothers, moms, greetings, celebrate, happy mothers day, happy mother's day, happy christmas, christmas, happy thanksgiving, event, events, events, lazy, distant, distance, executive, executives, businessman, businessmen, call, calling, wishes, busy, business
"Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling."
Tags:bedtime story, bedtime stories, bedtime reading, bedtime, sleep, going to sleep, sleeping, childrens book, childrens books, childrens literature, kids books, childish, role reversal, reversal of roles, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, reading aloud, reading, read, story, stories, child, children, nostalgia, absurd, weird bedtime routine, weird bedtimes, weird, absurd bedtime story
"Don't make the same mistake I did and squander your years in the eighteen-to-thirty-four demographic."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, teen, teens, teenager, youth, youths, young adults, tv, t.v., telly, tvs, tellies, television, televisions, demographic, domographics, squander, squandering, waste, wasting, wasting your life, wasting youth, wasting life, young demographic
Does our driver's performance meet with your approval? If not, his mother can be reached at (718) 555-7403.
Tags:driver, drivers, truck driver, trucker, truckers, long-distance trucking, long-distance trucker, long-distance truckers, parent, parents, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, tattle, tattles, tattling, tattletale, tattletales, tattler, tattlers, masculine, maculinity, toxic, undermine, undermines, undermining, authority, strict, strict parent, strict parents, mama's boy
"Your mother and I love you, Nick, but we'll soon be turning you over to mainland China."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, children, child, responsible, responsibility, responsibilities, hong kong, hk, colony, colonies, england, english, uk, united kingdom, gb, great britain, britain, china, chinese, one china two systems, dinner, family dinner, dinners, regional, 1997, sovereignty, hypocritical, hypocrite
"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."
Tags:crane, cranes, stork, storks, flamingo, flamingos, bird, birds, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, mate, mates, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, egret, egrets, embarrassment, embarrassing
"Son, your mother is a remarkable woman."
"And now we just relax, settle down, and smother them until they crack."
"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"
Tags:career, careers, career path, career paths, pregnancy, pregnancies, childbearing age, obstacle, obstacles, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, prejudice, sexism in the workplace, sexist, sexists, prejudices, discrimination, discriminating, career obstacle, career obstacles, parenthood, parent, parents, parenting, gender issue, gender politics, expectant mother, expectant mothers
"I don't want to do something fun for free, I want to do something fun we pay for."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, kitchen, kitchens, free, fun, pay, money, expensive, entertainment, going out, free entertainment, raising children, raising kids, bored, boredom, whining, whinging, complaining, frugal, saving money, cheap, economical
"When you head off to camp, your parents will want to see some separation anxiety."
Tags:child, kid, kids, childhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, camp, going to camp, separation anxiety, lunch time, lunch times, lunch break, lunch breaks, recess, camps, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, overparent, overparenting, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, over-protective, overprotective, over protective, anxiety disorder, anxiety disorders, childhood anxiety disorder, childhood anxiety disorders, pander, pandering, gratify, gratifying, comfort, comforting, attachment, attachment issues, attachment issue
"Please remind your mom and dad that its not a parent-teacher-attorney conference."
Tags:parent teacher conference, parent teacher conferences, parents evening, parents evenings, parenting, parent, parents, pushy parent, pushy parents, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, teacher, teachers, teaching, bad parent, bad parents, over parent, over parenting, over-parent, over-parenting, blame, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, legal representation, argument, arguments
"Not until you've arranged your pillows."
Tags:interior design, interior designer, interior designers, pillow, pillows, throw cushion, throw cushions, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, keeping up appearances, following trends, too many pillows, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, household rule, household rules, bad parent, bad parents, bad parenting, mother and daughter, mothers and daughters
"OMG! I just got born!"
Tags:newborn, newborns, nursery, nurseries, modern life, modern times, social media, social media update, social media updates, text, texts, texting, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, maternity ward, maternity wards, nurse, screen time, parent, parents, parenting, generation z, status update, status updates, birth, birthday, birthdays, textspeak, abbreviation, abbreviations, special occasion, special occasions, baby, babies, infant, infants, omg
An Honest Graduation Photograph
Tags:debt, debts, class, class critique, critique, critical, social critique, commentary, comment, commentate, social commentary, america, american education, education, university, universities, college, colleges, school, schools, parent, parenting, parents, money, fees, fee, loan, loans, student loan, student loans, student debt, student debts, graduate, graduation, graduates, poor, cash poor
"Of course there was sex and drugs when I was your age, but it was sex and drugs about ending the war."
Tags:hippy, hippies, counterculture, free spirit, nonconformist, 1960's, end war, ending the war, anti war, generations, younger generation, older generation, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, son, sons, memories, old and young, peace, hallucinogenic drugs, protest, protester, protesters
"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."
Tags:tantrum, tantrums, tantrum throwing, tantrum thrower, tantrum throwers, kid, kids, childhood, childhoods, bossy, bossiness, childhood, child raising, child rearing, child-raising, child-rearing, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, discipline, power dynamic, power dynamics, family dynamic, family dynamics
"When it's over, I'll explain all the pop culture references you didn't get and you can explain all the pop culture references I didn't get."
Tags:pop culture, pop culture reference, reference, references, movie, movies, film, films, cinema, cinemas, audience, audiences, culture, popular culture, cultured, cultures, explain, explained, explanation, child, childish, childhood, nostalgic, nostalgia, generation, generations, generation gap, out of date, outdated, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parental
When Moms Dance
Tags:relationships, mother, daughter, dancing, pain, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, dance, dances, dancing, embarrass, embarrasses, embarrassing, humiliate, humiliates, humiliating, humiliation, dork, dorks, dorky, dorky dance, dorky dances, mom dance, mom dancing, parent, parents, daughter, daughters