Patient Cartoons

"I'll be performing the operation, and this is the anesthesiologist."

Fertility Clinic

Therapist wearing a Yankees' cap talks with an upset patient wearing a Mets cap.

"I think someone put him on hold and then disconnected."

"We're borrowing the best features of the Canadian system."

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

"Please, honey, I'm with a patient, and I've asked you not to call me on this line."

"So–what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, yes, it's a routine procedure - if you routinely have someone slice open your body with sharp instruments and then fiddle with your insides."

"You should just feel a tiny prick, and then a lifetime of morphine addiction."

"This is a second opinion. At first, I thought you had something else."

"I have two mommies. I know where the apostrophe goes."

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"O.K., just one more and then I've got to get on with my life."

"Actually, these aren't bad times to be delusional."

"It is thornlike in appearance, but I need to order a battery of tests."

"Clear!"

"As far as your bill is concerned, I've finally learned to say no."

"You tested positive for being negative."

"You're not crazy. You want crazy?"

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"I don't like him."

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"