"On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."
Tags:dog, dogs, doggie, doggies, doggo, doggos, online, on-line, internet, social media, social-media, anonymous, anonymity, anon, privacy, private, pet, pets, computer, computers, technology, technologies, hide, hidden, judge, judged, animal, animals, conspiracy, conspiracies, forum, forums, chat, chatroom, chatrooms
'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'
Tags:animal, animals, dog, dogs, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, good dog, good boy, great dog, talking dog, talking dogs, talking animal, talking animals, dog thoughts, pet thoughts, owner, owners, self-esteem, low self-esteem, self-esteem issues, issues, ego, never good enough, self-improvement, mental health
"It's always 'Sit,' 'Stay,' 'Heel'—never 'Think,' 'Innovate,' 'Be yourself.' "
Tags:sit, sits, stay, stays, heel, heels, command, commands, dog, dogs, dog trick, dog tricks, dog trainer, dog trainers, dog, dogs, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, innovate, innovates, innovating, innovation, innovations, barking orders, manager, managers, management, think, thinks, thinking, autonomy, respect, self-respect, worker, workers, office drone, office drones, gripe, gripes, griping, complaint, complaints, complain, complains, complaining
"I can remember when there would have been a fire truck here in ten minutes, tops!"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, tree, trees, stuck, stuck in a tree, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, firefighter, firefighters, firemen, fireman, ladder, ladders, fire truck, fire trucks, firetruck, firetrucks, fire engine, fire engines, time, timely, slow, service, rescue, rescues, rescuing, slow response, response rate
Tags:heaven, heavens, dog, dogs, pet, pets, all dogs go to heaven, all dogs, all dog, good dog, good boy, good boys, childhood, childhood pet, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, animals, animal, talking, talking animal, pet, pets, domestic pet, man's best friend, mans best friend, best friend, religious, religion, pearly gates, pearly gate, st peter, saint peter, unexpected
"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking cat, talking cats, cat, feline, felines, cats, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, cat craze, craze, crazes, trend, trends, trendy, fad, fads, capitalise, capitalize, consumerism, wondering, thinking, taking advantage, modern life
"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, hr, h.r., human resources, business, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, manager, managers, career, careers, job, work, employee, employees, prospective, potential, rich, wealthy, money, hiring
"Relax. Even in a recession, people need rare tropical fighting fish."
Tags:recession, the recession, financial crash, the financial crash, economic crash, the economic crash, stock market crash, the stock market crash, aquarium, aquariums, tropical fish, rare tropical fish, fish shop, pet, pets, pet fish, essential, essentials, optimistic, optimism, false hopes, fighting fish, false hope
"I'm not even away! The audacity!"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking cat, talking cats, cat, feline, felines, cats, cat owner, cat owners, mouse, mice, rat, rats, fun, play, playing, playground, playgrounds, slide, slides, swing, swings, swing set, swing sets, saxophone, music, musical instrument, musical instruments, cliche, cliches, expression, expressions, angry, upset, audacity, rude, word play, wordplay, when the cat's away
Another Energy-Saving Idea From Your Electric-Eel Council:
"Not guilty, because puppies do these things."
Tags:not guilty, not-guilty, verdict, verdicts, pup, pups, puppies, puppy, obedience training, puppy training, puppy trainer, puppy trainers, canine, canines, dog behaviour, canine behaviour, dog behavior, canine behavior, court, courts, trial, trials, courtroom, courtrooms, innocence, dog owner, dog owners, pet, pets
"They moved my bowl."
"The bidding will start at eleven million dollars."
"I really appreciate this."
Tags:scratch, scratching, scratches, scratched, dog, dogs, cat, cats, pet, pets, neck cone, cone, cones, help, helping, friend, friendly, appreciate, appreciated, itch, itching, itches, dogs and cats, helps, helper, head, heads, personified, personification, thankful, thanks, thanking, thank, value, values
"Howard, I think the dog wants to go out."
"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."
A Viking Funeral for my Goldfish
Tags:pet, pets, goldfish, fish, pet fish, dead fish, dead pet, dead pets, funeral, funerals, pet funeral, pet funerals, viking funeral, viking funeral, flushing goldfish, toilet, toilets, overkill, overdo, overdone, unnecessary, cremate, cremation, cremated, norse funeral, norse funerals, funeral pyre, funeral pyres
"Your kids have left and gone on to lives of their own..." a dog yelps while his owner runs away.
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, man's best friend, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, talking pet, talking pets, talking animal, talking animals, animal, animals, dog owner, dog owners, mid life crisis, rough patch, tough times, hard times, despair, depressed, depression, anxiety, rubbing it in, rub some dirt in it, rub it in, make it worse, giving up, failed marriage, failed marriages, divorce, divorced, lonely
"I'm sorry, Edward. I suddenly realized I'm not a cat person."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat person, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, couple, couples, dating, date, dates, divorce, divorces, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, breaking up
"Yes, he does speak, but only on condition of anonymity."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, bird, birds, bird owner, bird owners, parrot, parrots, parrot owner, parrot owners, pet store, pet stores, pet shop, pet shops, salesman, salesmen, clerk, clerks, speak, speaking, talk, talking, anonymous, anonymity, condition of anonymity, unnamed, unnamed source, unnamed sources, anonymous source, anonymous sources, mask, masks, hidden identity, hidden identities, secret identity, secret identities, media, press, journalism, journalist, journalists, reporter, reporters, reporting, source, sources, source of information, sources of information
"We believe that in a former life she was an editor."
Tags:household, pets, cats, furniture, reincarnation, editors, beat generation, beatniks, hippies, punks, past life, past lives, former life, former lives, editor, reincarnate, reincarnated, critic, critics, critique, critiques, harsh, cat, cats, cat lover, cat lovers, cat owner, cat owners, edit, edits, editing
"Can I borrow those kittens for an hour? I want to freak out the people who had me spayed."
Tags:cats, freak out, kittens, spayed, pets, spayed, neutered, fixed, cat, pet, prank, pranks, pranking, kitten, offspring, baby, babies, freaks out, freaking out, cat owner, cat owners, cat lover, cat lovers, responsible, responsibility, frighten, frightens, frightening, family planning, birth control
"Can I call you back? I'm with a piece of string."
Cat Kung Fu
A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.