Physical Cartoons

"Science is baffled. I hope you're happy."

"You should relax less."

"All these years, and you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said, have you?"

"Please have a seat. Mr. Thorndyke will be back shortly."

"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Watch out for his being better at boxing than you."

"You need to get your cholesterol where your sperm count is."

"That just never gets old!"

"I was just a kid when I got this one."

"I can cure your back problem, but there's a risk that you'll be left with nothing to talk about."

"Well, as we thought, it's something gross."

"It's a good thing you're here. I just punctured your eardrum."

"Trust me, Senator. Many people have active and fulfilling sex lives long after they've retired from Congress."

"You seem perfectly healthy to me."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"Stress is killing you—you need an easier job, a smaller house, and a different family."

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"I'm afraid you have thirty, maybe forty, years to live."

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Your leg's not supposed to do that when I tap it with this little hammer."

"And one for the old prostate."

"I love the sense of danger that comes with brushing up against childhood obesity."

"Do you even know how long it's been since you last poked and prodded me?"