"Science is baffled. I hope you're happy."
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check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, healthily, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, get well, get well soon, baffled, baffle, visual gag, line, lines, abstract, squiggle, squiggly, science is"All these years, and you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said, have you?"
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obese, obesity, weight problem, weight problems, fat, fatness, weight issue, weight issues, fat epidemic, fat problem, fat problem, obesity problem, fat, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, medical advice, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, physical, physicals"Please have a seat. Mr. Thorndyke will be back shortly."
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spaced out, spaced, distract, distracted, distraction, distractions, miles away, zoned out, zone out, daydream, daydreaming, brain dead, braindead, exec, executive, executives, meeting, meetings, business, big business, boss, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, stress, stressed, concentrate, concentration, first impressions, present, presence, physical, mental, not quite there, tune out, paying attention, attention, pay attention, greetings, greeting, workaholic, work life balance, breakdown, stressed, modern life, working life, corporate, word play, play on words, word, words"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."
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eel, eels, stethoscope, stethoscopes, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, physical, physicals, bad sign, bad signs, symptom, symptoms, symptomatic, patient, patients, worry, worries, worrying, worrying sign, worrying signs, doctor's office, doctor's offices, strange sound, strange sounds, ominous, phobia, phobias, phobic"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"
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fashions, fashionable, dress sense, dress-sense, unfashionable, middle age, middle-aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, fashion sense, denial, denials, physical, physicals, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, doctor, doctors, youthful fashion, youthful fashions, youthful appearance, inappropriate, trend, trends, latest trend, ageing, aging, ageing gracefully, aging gracefully"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."
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doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, hospital, hospitals, gps, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, surgery, surgeries, checkup, physical, physician, physicians, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices, patient, patients, old age, old people, old men, old man, age, ages, aging, ageing, elderly"Watch out for his being better at boxing than you."
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coach, coaches, coached, coaching, box, boxing, boxer, boxing ring, sport, sports, contact sport, competitive sport, physical, physical sport, contact, contact sport, this corner, red corner, blue corner, fighter, fighting, fight, fights, better, skill, unskilled, underskilled, bested, skill match, skill matched, match, boxing match, compete, competitive, positive, optimism, optimistic, advice, bad advice, vague, advise, advises, advising"You need to get your cholesterol where your sperm count is."
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low sperm count, sperm count, semen, sperm, high cholesterol, doctor, doctors, doctors office, medical, medical center, medical centre, medical centers, medical centres, physical, check up, check-up, blood work, blood tests, test result, test results, hormones, hormone, hormone imbalance, diagnosis, treatment, male infertility, infertile, sexual health, reproductive health, reproductive system, unimpressed, insulted, insult, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, medical advice"That just never gets old!"
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swell, swells, swelling, swellings, nurse, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, physical, physicals, blood pressure, hand, hands, taking blood pressure, appointment, appointments, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, pump, pumps, pumping, pump up, pumps up, pumping up, unnerve, unnerves, unnerves, swollen, nurse, registered nurse, registered nurses, amuse, amuses, amusement, amusements"I can cure your back problem, but there's a risk that you'll be left with nothing to talk about."
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harsh truths, hard truths, hard truth, honest, honesty, check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, back, backpain, back pain, back-pain, nothing to talk about, nothing, conversation, topic, topics, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, healthily, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, get well, get well soon, fit, fitness"Well, as we thought, it's something gross."
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doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, hospital, hospitals, gps, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, surgery, surgeries, checkup, physical, physician, physicians, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices, diagnosis, diagnosed, test results, medical, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, treatment, gross"It's a good thing you're here. I just punctured your eardrum."
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eardrum, eardrums, medical malpractice, medical malpractices, ear drum, ear drums, ear-drum, ear-drums, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, physical, physicals, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, patient, patients, punctured eardrum, punctured eardrums, auriscope, auriscopes, otoscope, otoscopes"Trust me, Senator. Many people have active and fulfilling sex lives long after they've retired from Congress."
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old age, old man, old men, retire, retired, retiring, retirement, sexual health, doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, hospital, hospitals, gps, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, surgery, surgeries, checkup, physical, physician, physicians, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices, politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders"You seem perfectly healthy to me."
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donald, trump, the donald, laundry detergent, challenge, deadly, not food, not edible, inedible, poisonous, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, checkup, checkups, physical, physicals, physician, physicians, president, presidents, government, tricked, fooled, internet meme, internet game, internet challenge, social media, social media challenge"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."
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check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, breathe, inhale, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, test results, results, bloodwork, blood work, diagnosis, diagnose, diagnosed, flip, flipped, invert, inverted, opposite, opposites"Stress is killing you—you need an easier job, a smaller house, and a different family."
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doctor, doctors, check-up, check up, check-ups, check ups, physical, physicals, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, doctor's clinic, medical check up, medical check ups, gp, gps, md, mds, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctors surgery, doctors surgeries, doctor's surgery, doctor's surgeries, stressed, stress, stressing, stressed out, anxiety, anxieties, anxiety disorder, anxiety disorders, rat race, the rat race, middle class, middle class life, unhappy, unhappiness, depression, depressive, depressives, depressed, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."
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doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, hospital, hospitals, gps, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, surgery, surgeries, checkup, physical, physician, physicians, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices, receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, medical form, medical forms, medical history, paperwork, records, form, forms"I'm afraid you have thirty, maybe forty, years to live."
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checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, physical, physicals, physical examination, physical examinations, life expectancy, life span, life spans, lifespan, lifespans, life-span, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, terminal disease, terminal diseases"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."
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situational, situation, situations, skill, skills, self defense, self defence, self-defense, self-defence, karate, karate chop, break wood, breaking wood, jiu jitsu, jitsu, bjj, grapple, grappling, wrestling, wrestle, contact sport, contact sports, sport, sports, physical, physically, specific, specifics, specific skill set, exercise, exercises, party trick, party tricks, play on words, word play, word-play, white belt, black belt, martial art, martial, martial arts"Your leg's not supposed to do that when I tap it with this little hammer."
"And one for the old prostate."
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bar, bars, pub, pubs, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, cocktail, cocktails, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, shot, shots, liquor, bartender, bartenders, customer, customers, drinker, drinkers, medicine, medication, medicines, medications, medical, hospital, hospitals, nurse, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, gps, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, surgery, surgeries, checkup, physical, physician, physicians, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices"I love the sense of danger that comes with brushing up against childhood obesity."
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fastfood, fast food, child, childhood, children, kid, kids, family, families, health, health and wellbeing, healthy, wellbeing, fitness, physical, fit, fat, fatness, fatter, fats, chips, chip, crisp, crisps, sweet, sweets, candy, candies, obese, obesity, weight loss, weight, weightloss, overweight, over weight, epidemic, obesity epidemic, comment, social commentary"Do you even know how long it's been since you last poked and prodded me?"
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doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, hospital, hospitals, gps, gp, general practitioner, general practitioners, surgery, surgeries, checkup, physical, physician, physicians, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's offices, doctors offices, science, scientist, scientists, patient, patients, test subject, test subjects, animal testing, rat, rats, mouse, mice, rodent, rodents, nag, nagging