"We medical practitioners do our very best, Mr. Nyman. Nothing is more sacred to us than the doctor-plaintiff relationship."
Tags:practitioner, practitioners, medical practitioner, medical practitioners, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, doctor-patient relationship, doctor-patient relationships, bedside manner, manner, manners, personal, personality, personable, plaintiff, plaintiffs, standoffish, freudian slip, freudian slips
"I don't think you're getting enough stress."
Tags:stress, stress out, stressed out, stressing out, stressor, stressors, doctor's orders, relax, relaxation, doctor's advice, doctors advice, advice, order, orders, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, anxious, anxiousness, anxiety, anxieties, medical advice, physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, healthy living
"What's the next best medicine?"
Tags:depression, depressed, mental health, mental state, cure, cures, mental states, laughter is the best medicine, medicine, medicines, clown, clowns, circus, circuses, circus clown, circus clowns, entertainer, entertainers, performer, performers, medical advice, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gp, gps
"Science is baffled. I hope you're happy."
Tags:check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, healthily, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, get well, get well soon, baffled, baffle, visual gag, line, lines, abstract, squiggle, squiggly, science is
"This is a second opinion. At first, I thought you had something else."
"It's got to come out, of course, but that doesn't address the deeper problem."
Tags:deeper problem, deeper problems, backstabbing, backstabber, backstabbers, backstab, backstabbed, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, crimes, criminal, criminals, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gp, gps, medical problem, medical problems, back-stabber, back-stabbers, back-stabbing, homicide, homicides
"You know, doctor, right now I'd really prefer if your sense of humor were a tad less self-deprecating."
Tags:expert, expertise, surgery, surgeries, operation, operations, operate, under the knife, self-deprecating, self-deprecation, unnerve, unnerves, unnerving, upset, upsets, upsetting, surgeon, surgeons, sense of humor, senses of humor, sense of humour, senses of humour, problem, problems, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, anxious, anxiety, anxieties, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, bedside manner, manner, manners
"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. The anesthesiologist is on vacation."
Tags:anesthesia, anaesthesia, anesthesiologist, anesthesiologists, anaesthetist, anaesthetists, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, surgical procedure, surgical procedures, operation, operations, painkiller, painkillers, general anaesthetic, general anaesthetics, general anesthetic, general anesthetics
"You have a condition whose name is very hard to remember."
"Good news, Mr. Herndon. We worked out the budget, and we have a kidney."
Tags:budget, budgets, kidney, kidneys, pig, pigs, pork, organ, organs, organ donation, organ donations, organ donor, organ donors, donate, donates, donating, transplant, transplants, transplanting, budget crunch, budget crunches, discount, discounts, discount deal, discount deals, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, american healthcare, healthcare system, healthcare systems, insurance, health insurance
"It is thornlike in appearance, but I need to order a battery of tests."
"Now with a firm twist, I'll remove his attorney."
Tags:attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, legal team, legal teams, growth, growths, tumor, tumors, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, operation, operations, removal, removals, legal representation, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, hospital, hospitals, procedure, procedures, removal, removals, legal representative, cancer, cancers
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"You have a lot of boring health issues, so I'm prescribing medical marijuana for myself."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, drug, marijuana, mary j, ganja, pot, weed, hash, hashish, hemp, smoke, smoking, joint, blunt, bong, medicinal, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stress, stressed out, legalized, legalised, legalisation, legalization, health issue, bore, bored, boring
"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"
"Good news. The test results show it's a metaphor."
Tags:test, tests, test result, test results, idiom, idioms, expression, expressions, saying, sayings, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical, literal, literally, backstabber, backstabbers, diagnosis, diagnose, diagnosing, physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, stab, stabbed, stabbing, stabbings, medical, medical diagnosis, good news
Hippocrates Off The Record - "First, treat no lawyers."
Tags:hippocrates, hippocratic oath, oath, oaths, first do no harm, lawyer, lawyers, pariah, pariahs, social pariah, social pariahs, doctor, doctors, med school, medical school, medical schools, student, students, med student, med students, physician, physicians, outcast, outcasts, attorney, attorneys
"And would you be performing the actual surgery?"
Tags:surgery, surgeries, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, surgeon, surgeons, tie, ties, tying, ominous, warning, warnings, ominous sign, ominous signs, warning sign, warning signs, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, paranoia, paranoid, clumsy, klutz, klutzes, klutzy, fumble, fumbles, fumbling
Tags:bearer of bad news, bearers of bad news, flying monkey, flying monkeys, wicked witch, witch, witches, famous phrase, famous phrases, dead, bereaved, bereavement, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, hospital, hospitals, hospitalise, hospitalised, hospitalize, hospitalized, hospitalization, hospitalisation, bad news, sad, sadness, messenger, messengers
"Please tell me you just ate a bucket of eels."
Tags:eel, eels, stethoscope, stethoscopes, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, physical, physicals, bad sign, bad signs, symptom, symptoms, symptomatic, patient, patients, worry, worries, worrying, worrying sign, worrying signs, doctor's office, doctor's offices, strange sound, strange sounds, ominous, phobia, phobias, phobic
"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."
Tags:teddy, teddy bear, teddy bears, stuffed animal, stuffed animals, toy, toys, doctor, doctors, general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, operation, operations, stitches, dissolving stitches
"You have achieved Nirvana, Mr. Harper, and a bad case of tennis knee."
Tags:nirvana, achieve nirvana, achieving nirvana, buddhist, buddhists, buddhism, diagnose, diagnosing, diagnoses, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, enlightenment, enlightened, enlightening, religious, philosophy, philosophies, philosopher, philosophers, tennis elbow, tennis injury, tennis injuries, ailment, ailments, minor ailment, minor ailments
"Please, Doc - nothing too aggressive. I'm kind of attached to my symptoms."
Savoy Dental Salon
"Now that's the kind of positive attitude I'm really going to miss."